Did you change your surname upon marriage?

[Gryffindor]

Just that, really? And if you did, did you keep your maiden name professionally?

DH and I have been married a while now but through a combination of feminist thoughts, laziness and professional reputation I haven't changed. All married female friends have changed theirs, often with mind boggling speed!

Aibu to ask?

I changed mine. As others have said, I wanted everyone in our immediate family unit to have the same surname, and I dislike double barrelled names.

I didn't change mine, my name has no bearing on being a unit with anyone else. DCs have DH's surname.

I changed mine, don't regret it and think double barreled names are silly and look rather pretentious.

I changed mine. I believe in equality but I'm also a traditionalist and was very excited about becoming Mrs WeirdCatLady :) I know Mr WeirdCatLady wouldn't have had a problem if I'd wanted to stick with my maiden name but, again as others have said, we are a team, one unit, and, to me, it wouldn't have felt right.
If you keep your maiden name do you keep Miss or have Mrs? That would be weird to me, Mrs MaidenName was married to my father...and Miss MaidenName was not married
At the end of the day, it is a personal choice, do whatever makes you happy

Do you have to physically do anything after you marry to change your name? I just got married, the vicar signed my passport form, and I changed my driving licence but haven't done anything else. Should I have?

I changed mine. DH wasn't bothered what I did but I wanted us to have the same name and I preferred his.

I've changed it on most things, bank, work, driving license. My passport is still in my maiden name as I'm waiting for it to run out.

Also, when DD and I do things together I refer to us as The WeirdCatLady Girls which I know is ridiculous but it makes us both smile :)

I didn't change my name when I married my first DH - two reasons, I didn't like his surname much and I was more 'right on' about that sort of thing. I never had any 'grief' about not changing it.

I did change my name when I got married the second time, no specific reason - doesn't bother me either way - my name doesn't define who I am.

I kept my own name for all purposes (hate the expression "maiden name" - it's my name, not some temporary label till a man deigns to take me on).

DS has DH's surname, partly because it's near the front of the alphabet and is easy to spell (mine begins with V and is hard for English speakers to spell) and partly because he's doing far more of the nursery / school pick-ups and drop-offs than I am and was a bit worried about people thinking he was DS's step-dad. If he'd been going to carry on working full-time I might have argued DS to have my name, spelling difficulties notwithstanding.

Andrewfrog - that is an interesting question, I have never, ever used the surname that is on my birth certificate (I took my step father's surname although he never legally adopted me). It has never been a problem - I recently learnt that my biological father also used his step-father's name rather this his 'real' name so the whole thing would be a minefield - but it has never been an issue getting passport/married/divorced/NI number etc.

I changed mine, and I slightly regret it. I miss my name more than I expected, but changing it back would mean a different name to the DCs, which I don't want either.

WeirdCatLady, I'm Ms, always. Seriously thought about getting a PhD just so I could solve the problem by being Dr, but in the end decided that was an unfeasible amount of work to change my title!

Do you have to physically do anything after you marry to change your name?

Well things don't magically change themselves!

The bank I think I took in my marriage certificate. Dvla you have to send it off to change it. Don't forget your car reg too. Phone company etc will want a copy of your marriage certificate. Although if you're with EE good luck with that as I've tried twice now and they still haven't done it. Don't forget the tax office. Bills, car insurance.

It's a pain in arse to be honest. Which is why I haven't got round to changing it on everything.

I kept it. I love my surname. I was an academic at the time so used that as an excuse. DS has my name as a middle name.

No ... and I thought I was the only one!
Actually, I applied for my next passport in the name of MrsHisNameMyName but I keep forgetting as that is the only place in which I use it. As I work in a profession where I frequently am aske to validate other people's passport photos and applications, it is a bit embarrassing when they get rejected. (Especially now, as I may be the reason for the backlog ... )

I changed mine as my DD1 who was almost 5 at the time had a real bee in her bonnet about us all not being the same. As others have said, it just felt right to have a family name that we all shared. Also I prefer my DH's surname, I now have a lovely Irish surname. Very shallow, I know.

Neither dh nor me changed our names when we got married.

I'm in UK and have been married less than a year and I didn't change me surname. It's who I am, my husband didn't mind.

I changed mine - partly because DHs surname was much more interesting, but mainly because my parents had split up 9 years previously, both had remarried but tbh it felt like my Dad wasn't interested in me and my sister any more. It came to a crux when I asked My Uncle (no kids) to give me away, and Dad stated that he wouldn't come to the wedding at all if he couldn't give me away. He didn't come as I refused to be emotionally blackmailed into something.

I've always been sad about the falling out, but it seems that the fact I'm expecting our first has started to build bridges.

I did. I didn't want to because 1) I loved my surname, 2) DH's is awful, and 3) I have feminist tendencies.

But I got my way on something that we couldn't compromise on (not living together before marriage) so DH got his way on this one.

And I have to say that it has been very good in a slightly unexpected way. My brother and I are both quite prominent in a relatively small profession, albeit in completely different ways, and having different surnames has meant that we have each been able to do our things without accusations of nepotism (which would be untrue, as we are incredibly careful and probably go a bit too far the other way).

Don't like my married surname though, it's rubbish!

I didn't initially. But then, I suppose maybe around the time I got pregnant, I did. I liked the idea of us as a family unit all having the same name.

However, I defend to the death any and all women's right to keep their own surname, and absolutely loathe the argument that you might as well take your husband's name, since the alternative is keeping another man's surname anyway. Loathe that argument.

I dunno, sometimes I feel like I've let the sisterhood down by changing my name.

The only time I've been annoyed by a non-changer judging, was in light of the fact that she and her DH had default given their kids his name. Either live and let live in terms of people making their own minds up about it - or - if you are going to judge name-changers, then have the courage of your convictions, and give the kids your name, as well.

Should add that my DCs have my old surname as their middle name.

I kept mine. I've been Ms Myname since my teens. I'm pregnant and the baby will be Hisname-Myname. I don't get chocolate's argument about future generations struggling with double-barrelled names. They will be able to take or drop any names they like, just as we can. It's really not that hard b

I did. I was relatively young when we married & hadn't really established a professional reputation by then, so that was a non-issue.

My main reason was that DH's surname just flows so much nicer with my name than my dad's did (much as I loved my dad). My born name is a bit of a twee alliterative tongue twister. With DH's surname, my name is a smooth flow that I could imagine gracing the cover of a serious book. And it is easier to say over the phone.

So, convenience & vanity won for me. It is now very much 'my' name as I have had it for longer than I had the other one.

I did, straight after our honeymoon. It was quite easy as I left one job and started another at the same time, so no problem with confusion.
As a family we are fairly traditional so it wouldn't occur to me not to use DH's name. The only time it becomes any issue is at family gatherings, DH's family have mainly produced boys over the years, so there are loads of Mr and Mrs DH's name at these things. The next generation are all boys too, so it may not get any easier!