Did you change your surname upon marriage?

[Gryffindor]

Just that, really? And if you did, did you keep your maiden name professionally?

DH and I have been married a while now but through a combination of feminist thoughts, laziness and professional reputation I haven't changed. All married female friends have changed theirs, often with mind boggling speed!

Aibu to ask?

I changed mine as I bloody hated my name literally cringed every time I heard it . It wasn't my 'birth name' as my name was changed several times as a child, the last one was my mums violent ex husbands name. I toyed with the idea of just picking a random name but actually my dh name is really nice and he was keen that our child had his name in some sort of way and as I felt no connection to any name why not.

I actually know several men who have changed their names to their wives. I even have a friend who married once took his wife's name and then when he divorced her kept her name and then when he remarried his new wife took his ex wife's name.

I have 2 dds and would like them to keep our name,but can understand why they may not want to. I love being family flixybelle surname it gives me a lot of pleasure and makes me feel connected to my family in a way I never felt as a child (range of names between my siblings and parents.)

If people feel that by sharing a surname they feel more like a family unit then I propose that this feeling can be increased further by renaming the whole family with all the SAME name, possibly with numerals to avoid confusion. Mr. John Smith, Mrs John Smith, Master John Smith, Miss John Smith the First, Miss John Smith the Second etc.

I haven't changed mine legally so still use my original name for work/bank account/passport etc. I'm Mrs DH name for school/anything to do with the DCs though.

Both of our families insist on calling me Mrs DH name despite being told I haven't changed it - to the extent that every Christmas & birthday I have to write thank you notes for cheques that I can't cash. Now that's the really annoying part about keeping your name!!

Sorry, what I meant was I don't think it should matter to anyone else, as it's a personal choice. I didn't mean it's not important.

I did change my name but the thought that dh eons me, even symbolically is hilarious, he or in fact anyone I know, would even dare to suggest it. Lol

Eons me... owns me!

I got married 2 months ago and changed my name from then. It would have seemed weird to me not to: it is part of my story and I couldn't imagine it any other way. Personally it would have felt like holding back if I hadn't and I didn't want to be holding back when I got married. I don't imagine for a moment that it is like that for other people: it is a very personal thing. Plus I do keep entertaining people by getting in a muddle about my own name! It's all good fun! :-)

If he insisted I changed my name it would have been a deal-breaker for me. I'm no one's property, to be gifted from my father to my husband.

LadyCelia - take your marriage certificate along to the bank and ask for a note to be out on your account with your "married" name, without changing your name. Mine did this, I would never waste a cheque!

If we get married, we're double barreling our names. Our baby boy has that as his surname already :)

Didn't bother changing my name but half wish I had now given the amount of "alternatives" I get called and (the occasional) cheque made out to someone who does not exist. MIL worst offender, obviously. I have no identity other than being married to her son. Took her three attempts to a correctly write a cheque in my unchanged name for my birthday gift.

Mine can't be a 'maiden name' cos I am not a maiden, but I have not changed my name. it doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother the man I married. So who else matters in it all? One aunt did say to my parents 'What's the point in Basketz getting married if she doesn't change her name?', my parents howled with laughter and told me and we all howled again with laughter. That's it really. Possibly a few other cat's bum faces but I just ignored them

Declutter same here, even though I view it as my name rather than my father's. This is one area, of many, where FIL and I disagree. That really is not my problem.

Didn't change my name but my entire family ignore this :(

I didn't at first, but it has happened gradually and slowly. Thirteen years later, I use my husband's name for most things (it's much, much easier to spell and explain and I didn't want unwieldy double-barrelled names for the dc) apart from a rogue Amazon account.

I kept my original name professionally until I had the dc, and then I changed profession so it didn't count. Kept a bank account in my maiden name until recently and only changed passport last time around.

But if I'd had an easy surname to begin with, I think I'd have kept it. I hope the dds keep theirs.

I c

On our wedding day one of the guests said "not changing your name Gryffindor? That's OK, you'll just be one of those married couples that doesn't love each other that much"

They weren't joking!

I'm with you KristinaM: I don't mind that he didn't change his name

Not married yet but I will be changing. To be honest its part of the reason I want to get married. Been together a long time, but since had DCs felt I wanted us all to have the same surname. Not a fan of double barrels, and ours would sound ridiculous anyway. Would rather take his name as always felt his family very warm and welcoming towards me and I want to be part of that family. More so than my family to him.

weebairn The main reason I changed my name IS because DH's surname is easier to spell. When you grow up having to spell all parts of your name for everyone, and get letters addressed to 6 different spellings of your surname, changing to a simpler one is mighty refreshing.

I didn't change my name because I work in a family business. Besides, I was forty and hundreds of documents would have to be changed.

on the same page as ProbablyJustGas we have dual citizen kids that have to use their us passports on certain trips. Makes citizenry a whole lot less stressful to have the family unit name. I chose to double barrel my name from an early age because I wanted to keep my dads name, DH has done so too, so we all match. MIL kept her maiden name (her father was according to her pretty significant in the town she's from so she rides on that legacy a bit) and it doesn't match DHs (TG its TERRIBLE sounding), I probably would have done something different if he had. I think the real feminist statement is having the ability to choose your name not be coerced into by birth, marriage or otherwise. DH and I walked down the aisle together and we share one another's names, I like to think it's another way we are equals. I wonder how many created a whole new name? That would be a big statement, and what about that Dawn O'Porter secenario?

I went double barrelled. He's still just Mr Bear though. Our dcs will all be double barrelled too, so he's the one who is left out.

I changed it, because I had a long and unattractive foreign name, which I hated spelling all the time. A double barreled name would have sounded ridiculous, so went with DH's. It's a nice, short easy-to-spell and fairly attractive name.

I am not really a professional in the sense that a professional name would be a consideration. I also like the fact that I share my name with ds, since we don't share nationalities either..

No, didn't change mine. Never considered it. Had my name for 35 yrs before getting married and feel its quiet central to my identity. I don't have any problem with DD having DHs name - doubled barreled would be quiet a mouthful.