To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

Reading this thread with interest. Haven't seriously considered home ed for most of the reasons given above, plus the fact I can't really afford, and don't really want, to give up work but have occasionally wondered about taking dd out of school one day a week to give her a break from routine and a broader curriculum. We are in London so there are a zillion trips you could do, and could hopefully catch up on the school work too. Would this be the best or worst of all worlds, do you think? In my head she would still get all the advantages of school but a friend I casually mentioned it to said she thought it would still mark her out as different and stop her bonding so well with friends at school.

Disclaimer: dd hasn't even started school yet so I have no real idea what it will be like.

My Aunt's reaction (retired teacher) to her son taking on an Home Ed role with his children was priceless (and, as a teacher myself, I sort of agree, particularly at secondary level)

She asked her son when he had qualified as a teacher.

I have seen one or two strong examples of HE at Primary level where the Mum was a teacher. I have also taught several where the "E"from "HE" was definitely missing.

Other response, "How can they afford not to work?"

I admire home educators. Its a big lifestyle choice.

I work in education and have a child with SN. I can totally see why some parents decide on HE. It would probably suit my child with SN better than school, but I wouldnt be able to do it - not for me. So a selfish choice on my part, really.

In general, though, when I hear 'HE' I think - how lovely. Lucky kids, dedicated parents.

My instinctive response to people sending 4 year olds to school is poor kids! Clearly those parents just follow the herd and send their DC without even thinking about other options. *

Poor poor children.

I do enjoy a sweeping statement.

*not my actual view.

I took my child out of school in April as she was being bullied. Her confidence was at an all time low. She is so much happier now a different child she starts a new school in September. I don't think I could do it forever I can tell she is a little lonely but it did solve her unhappiness at school and she is excited to go back.

My first reaction is that's nice! Personally not going to home educate but have nothing against it and I'm a recently ex-teacher. Schools are not the right place for everyone and with the current drive on results, targets and less room for individuality, I'm not surprised with those who've pulled their DC out. What I would be interested in is how many home educators never even considered school as an option and how many were dissatisfied with schools or the school couldn't cope with their DC's needs.

I'm disgusted at the judgemental replies, some of the attitudes on this thread are appalling. So many people have got no idea whatsoever of what some SN children go through; not fitting in or being able to socialise, not taught anything much at school and just being occupied, falling further and further behind. :(

Again, well done OP for taking it on. You can't do any worse. There is a huge amount of support available, there will be hundreds of families HEing near you and you will not have to be alone. In fact, you will have to meet up and give your DS access to socialising with others his own age as part of HE. I'm excited for you and your son, I bet it's a huge relief.

So what would you think if somebody said they went to school? Not a particular school - any school - could be Eton or in special measures? What would your off the bat opinion be of their education?

Just a thought OP, have a look on FB if you're on it for any HE local groups. Plus check what HEing parents can get. Our local council lets HE families take books out on loan for longer and offers good support if the family chooses to take it.
Quick point but when did hippy become so attached to the anti vaccination thing? Is hippy an insult?

I'd be interested, as we are HE'ers too. You're right, the overwhelming response is amazingly negative and that's what I grew up with, so I've been surprised at how many home educated adults I've met skulking about out there when the subject's come up. Happily when I've picked their brains they've all been really happy with it and had no desire to go to school, operate as fully functioning members of society with very good careers! Very heartening!

The thing is, I actually have a child who is in school. What would be easier for me would be both in or both out, we still have to adhere to the term table, which is a PITA at times but then there is positives in that our day is relatively structured. Ds does the school run with me (if he feels like it!) and also comes to school assembly's and events.

Dd is doing very well at school but sometimes says she's unhappy and wants to HE but I am not convinced that's best for her so while it's working, she's going.

I do agree that there are some odd HE families (thinks of the play date where with the Mum who sank 5 bottles of Peroni before midday and called me a right wing fascist because my dad was in the army) but in the main the ones I know are doing it because they were pretty much forced to. Also quite a few who are from other countries whose parents are here for a year or two so don't want to put them into school in the UK.

I think if you HE and get off your ass to go to groups and classes the socialisation is equal in amount to a school environment but far more positive.

I would wonder why 1st, so generally I think I would make assumptions (not necessarily correct) that the child has struggled with mainstream schools or that the parents were weird.
I taught a couple of brothers who had been home schooled but had been put into an international school in year 12 and year 9. The reason was because the younger lad was painfully shy and had zero social skills and they were hoping it might help. The older boy was pretty well balanced, confident, had a great love of learning and a broad knowledge base. He was in my A level biology class. In this case, their parents had traveled the world and worked in some very out of way places around the world (such as siberia!) so it was either home school or boarding school, so I can understand why they home schooled.

Not read the thread, so apologies if it has gone off in a different direction, but my instinctive reaction would be (a) to be nosy intrigued as to the reasons behind the choice as IM(limited)E it is generally because the school system has failed the child in some way, or because the parents have issues with "societal norms" in some way, and (b) to wonder how the hell the parent educator has the patience since I have established beyond reasonable doubt that my DC don't like me teaching them stuff and I have no patience for teaching them.

I firstly assume they must be fairly wealthy as one parent does not need to work. I then run through all the possibilities, from very bright child with very pushy parents, to bullying, to parents who mistrust authority and can't let go of their children, to abusive homes. The only family I know who home educate are fairly 'alternative'. I have no problem with that, although do wonder exactly what their children are learning. However, they also refuse all vaccinations etc etc so I'm afraid I judge them quite severely for sacrificing their own children on the altar of their own misguided beliefs...

Can I ask how parents who home educate prepare themselves to teach, especially older children? I just don't think I could know enough about a broad range of subjects and can imagine it would be hugely expensive to buy in tutors in the long run.

My first thought is that one of the parents must be SAHP otherwise it would be near impossible.

Then my thought is it would be great if one of them had a science PhD or something so they could have some mini science geniuses at home. :)

I used to think 'religious nutters'.

But then I met JulieNoShoes and a bunch of HE'd young people. And read MN.

Now I think- lucky child, having their needs met.

I would think (unless SN) poor kid, and that although the parents may be lovely I wouldn't have enough in common to be friends with them.

I'd love to home ed. I'd be a little jealous initially BUT the one parent I know who does home ed is frazzled and cannot control her children. She's deluding herself that she is educating them.

honestly?

I think the parents will be a RIGHT pain in the arse.
this has always been my experience sadly.
And that the kid is often damaged by over protective parents who tell them all the time about their problems.

kid re enters main stream school often VERY happily despite the parent trying to create problems where there aren't any.

I know

you asked

My gut reaction is over-protective parent, to be honest.

My initial thoughts would be:

-are they religious?
-does their child have special needs?
-are they bit hippy-like?

My second reaction would be to envy having the option anyway. I think state school can be a very harsh and negative experience for many children. It would be nice to be a position to have options if you don't think your child is thriving.

I do wonder if parents are really equipped to teach a whole range of subject matters with enough depth that their children can keep up with the curriculum.

I'd probably think "each to their own", but I'd associate it with a brown rice and yoghurt knitting lifestyle :o

From a negative viewpoint, I tend to think it can be a haven for lazy ineffectual parents or people who think their children are too special to be at school.

From a positive viewpoint I think good on people who do it properly and dedicate their time to their kids.

So, I have many different viewpoints and would hopefully choose an appropriate one based on every situation.

There are some children my children come across at school that you wish parents would keep at home................but then again maybe not as perhaps school is the only non negative social encounter they get.

The thing is Morris a lot of people (necessarily) knew my DC was/were/is Home Ed. I don't (in RL) feel the need to explain to people in general which of my DC have SEN and what those SEN are, so how are you going to accurately judge our reasons? (and whether they past muster by your yardstick?)