To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

OP, I think you are forgetting that you asked for people's 'instinctive' responses to HE. You would have got more considered and less rude replies if you had just asked for people's opinions.

My eldest did her GCSEs early. My 10 year old will be doing her exams at an even younger age! As for socialisation; if we did any more we wouldn't have time for home ed (and the DC do many activities, some competitive standard).

The DC love home ed. and have said they would like to do this if they have children of their own. Plus, we're always checking they don't wish to enter mainstream education. They don't.

Bauhaus, I think your way of doing things is quite unusual. Most HE families use a combination of autonomous and structured approaches. IME. My sons have attended classes/groups like art, drama, sports outside of the HE world. They fit in perfectly well, no better and no worse than they would in school. Since 2 have SNs they would have been 'different' anyway. Wherever they were.

I feel privileged to have done HE - and to live in a world where it is legal and just about accepted. Where it is accepted at least by those who ARE aware of the issues, that one size does not fit all and we don't all have to go through the great sausage machine of school if it's not working out.

My instinctive reaction very much depends on the situation.

Each would start "how interesting,what are you learning about at the moment"

If the response indicated what I call "CME but pretending otherwise" then my internal reaction is "FFs yet another utter wanker"

If the response indicates education being facilitated then my internal reaction is "jolly good,I admire a parent who chooses not to discharge their legal duty to their child"

'Legal duty' as a parent is to ensure your child is 'appropriately educated', in fact it is NOT to send them to school. In reality, most parents choose to delegate this task to schools.

BTW what is CME???

First thought - how come you were so badly let down by the system that you took such drastic measures

Second thought - much respect to you - well done for having the balls to buck the norm in education & put your DCs needs above your own sanity & HE

buts that's my speaking from some experience of HEing DD for a term - it was several hours days of homework attitude, she thought it was holiday time & shut down - that was even allowing for a couple if weeks due schooling - not easy on me at all, but the situation at her old school was making her so ill, I had no real choice & she is NT

I'm currently in a situation where I could well end up doing it again - not out of choice, I really don't want to & thanks to a move to a new school, she's really loving school again, but it's move to high school time & so far the LA are letting us down big time by sending her to a far away, failing school, that just doesn't suit her needs in anyway & will affect her health again as the journey alone will be too much, let alone all the other reasons

So I've a LOT of respect for HEers, but little fir the system that forces many into that corner

Would add that my DC have never been to school. When making our decision to HE we were also viewing and considering private schools.

I'd wonder how the parents managed to teach all the subjects well. I could manage some but I am utterly pathetic at maths.

I've only met one HE in real life and she had been a teacher in the past, converted and gone all weirdy beardy, and decided that mainstream schools just weren't good enough. I felt sorry for her child as she really was cuting him off from anything she now decided was 'wrong' from her conversion pov. Strange as the local schools are populated mainly by kids of her new-found religion (but I got the impression her new hubby was a bit more firebrand in his beliefs).

I know this Basket I have been actively involved extensively with home education for several decades and am a fierce supporter of it.

You discharge your duty to appropriately educate your child by sending them to school (you are not breaking the law if you send your child to a crappy school that does not educate them appropriately). If you home educate then you are ensuring you meet your legal duty.

CME= child missing education.

One school of thought is that a child receives an appropriate education by osmosis with no encouragement nor facilitation nor anything that even resembles supported learning everything they need to know just falls in their brain by magic whilst walking the dog. In my opinion this is not education it is a CME

dickdastardly I have welcomed instinctive and frank responses and discussed them at length. I am not in any way offended, a little surprised though at the sheer volume of negative assumptions.

The only post I took exception to was the poster who asked me if I am on benefits to fund home educating, which I thought was loaded and taking the thread in a really negative direction. All other posts have been fine and exactly what I asked for.

"The only post I took exception to was the poster who asked me if I am on benefits to fund home educating, which I thought was loaded and taking the thread in a really negative direction."

I didn't see that post. The very idea that benefits could support home educating. Also, reminds me of the letters the LA have been sending to new home educators in our local area this month. Where they remind them that there is NO funding for HE E.g. exams, free school meals, activities

NeedsASock, no dog gets walked ALL day. Therefore, some other learning will be taking place at other points of the day. I think your point is unnecessarily facetious. 'Autonomous learning' can work without a child missing out, though most parents do not have the confidence to do it that way. But part of that involves 'meaningful conversation' which dog walking does not preclude.

Here we take a more autonomous approach with ds4 (than with his bros)as it suits his autism quite well, but I do check up on him at regular intervals. The purists who advocate autonomy in the HE world would disapprove. That's the thing, in the HE world we too have cliques and bullying and so forth. HE is really just a microcosm of the wider world. Good night, all. Another busy day at the chalk face beckons in a few hours.

Honestly?

I feel threatened by it due to its growing popularity

I feel threatened as a private school teacher because, at the moment, private education is the default for those who can afford it who are disillusioned with the state system and, if that default changes to HE, I'd lose my job.

I also feel threatened as a teacher in general. If a parent with no teaching qualifications whatsoever can educate a child to the same or higher standard than its peers in school I wonder a) what I bothered to train for and b) whether I am completely useless and spending my life earning money for doing something that anybody can do for free.

It's not actually popular, though. There are no more than 100 children in my area who are home ed (one of the main cities too), compared to 100 000 plus school children. And in percentage terms, nationally, it's very low indeed (the number may be less than 1%).

Yes

"It should also be remembered that 63% of Local Authorities have fewer than 100 home educated children."

That is those children know to the LA of course. But I don't know of many people who are not nowadays.

known to the LA!

Basketz no dog gets walked ALL day. smileTherefore, some other learning will be taking place at other points of the day.

There's lots of ways to spend time without learning anything. Ask any A-level/university student!

I remember watching a hell of a lot of TV and reading a lot. And to this day I still come out in hives at 'meaningful conversation'. I learnt never to ask a question about anything, as my mother wouldn't just answer it ever. Sometimes, you just don't want to know that much about something.

Asking any kind of question was voluntarily committing myself to hearing the dreaded words, "oh yes, Tilly that's really interesting. Let's look it up". Then I would be dragged to the encyclopaedia and expected to read half a dozen pages participate in (vapid pseudo-intellectual) discussion about it. It felt just like the artificial "ooh let's take advantage of this educational opportunity and call this manipulation spontaneous learning" occasion it actually was, and if I tried to escape after my initial question was answered, my mother would act all hurt, and then make passive-aggressive comments about having wanted a daughter who was capable of taking an interest in the world.

And I was a child who treasured my set of children's encyclopaedias of my own free will!

manicinsomniac
whether I am completely useless and spending my life earning money for doing something that anybody can do for free.

I know of at least two parents, including my own, who were abominable at it, so evidently point b) is untrue.

Christian fundamentalist family.

znaika - perhaps he is dyslexic?

I did home ed with my youngest who's now a young man of 23. He's severely autistic with additional needs on top of that. I chose to home ed because of the complexity of his needs and the fact no one knew him as well as we did. He had a tailor-made education and its the best thing we ever did for him.

I met a HE boy once. Mum was lovely, I didn't know anything about it so I asked questions. I was really interested and did further reading.

My initial reaction was why? The reasons were a bit woolly. I came to the conclusion that she did it as she wanted to carry on her lovely social life with the HE groups. ( bit like toddler group)

It was one of those unschooling hands off types of HE. He can climb trees well, but can't read at age 7. ( nor is he near to it) he was embarrassed that my little one could read something for him.

Filled me with horror, that poor child could be subjected to a sub standard education, with no one to regulate.

Now I would think special needs, bullying, gifted, odd parents or needy parents.

I am amazed by the negative attitudes, and find this thread pretty upsetting.

I know plenty of kids who go to school and are: obnoxious, socially unsophisticated, weird, or cursed with annoying parents. These problems are not always caused by HE,

Lots of families leave school because their kids are "weird" and are not thriving. HE gives those children another option; HE did not cause their "problems".

Many people choose to HE because they feel the education system is a bit dull, uninspiring and inflexible. Some of these families do an incredible job of bringing up their kids, and if you get to know them they are often very thoughtful, interesting, open minded and imaginative people.

There are some religious freaks out there, and I wish they could be stopped from brainwashing their children.

If you look at indicators such as test scores and other measures of success, HE kids seem to do slightly better than schooled kids.

If you look at more subtle indicators of happiness, it is even harder to make a judgement, but remember that most of the depressed, insecure, abused, dishonest, feckless people around us went to school and send their kids to school.

I'd think How do they afford it? It's having one Sah parent for years and years, buying in a certain amount of material, purchasing "experiences" etc. We " could" afford it, but it would move us from comfortable to breadline and I (the educator and the less well-paid parent) would be bored senseless, never mind my kids' opinions!

Fortunately they like school.

Broke my MN rule and only skimmed thread so you got what you asked for!

Instinctive reaction? Bullying
2nd? School let you down
3rd? SNs not being met.

Finally I'd just ask why!
(And asks loads of questions, how do you structure your day, what if you aren't very good at a subject, do you have to buy lots of textbooks, do you do tests, how will child sit exams, does child sit exams and so on)

Wouldn't think you were 'weird' and wouldn't feel sad for child, would just be really really curious

(And then you'd get sick of me asking questions so would change the subject)

Oh and I'd probably say something ridiculous like how jealous I was because you could have a 'school' holiday whenever you liked. And then ask you if you had 'school' holidays or kept them working all year.

• It was one of those unschooling hands off types of HE. He can climb trees well, but can't read at age 7. ( nor is he near to it) he was embarrassed that my little one could read something for him.

Filled me with horror, that poor child could be subjected to a sub standard education, with no one to regulate.*

Most children in Europe don't start learning to read until after 7, schools like Finland which have much better education results than the UK don't start school until 7.

My child won't start school until he turns 7, we live in a country with similar education results to the UK, my opinion is that there is no point in cramming very small children full of information at 4/5/6 when it doesn't seem to give them any advantage.

Tree climbing isn't just the the ability to climb a tree, those skills are transferable. Confidence body awareness and risk assessment are very important life skills which can be encouraged by climbing trees.