To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

I don't know why people are 'amazed by the negative response'. We were not asked for our considered opinion, we were asked for our first instinctive response - the view seems to be that we are rude to answer the question truthfully.
I would never tell the HEer in RL my initial response, they don't need it and it isn't helpful + the fact it is none of my business.
I answered the question- I have no idea why OP asked it but it seems pointless to lie or give a response that was not instinctive.

Only skim read here too.

Initial reaction would be are you mad?

It's a huge commitment re time and resources.As a former teacher myself I just know I couldn't put the hours in for planning let alone for actually teaching.

Also going by some former homework debacles in our house I just know life would be one long stressfest.

Then there is the social side or lack of it.......

Initial response is a shudder! I couldn't do it in a month of Sundays.

My very close friend HEs her only child. She's a single mother who has never had a night away from him and my first, and continued, opinion, is that she is scared to 'let go' of him in any way.

She is already planning an extension to her house, despite her DS only being young, so that he never has to move out and can live there when he marries and has DCs himself. So, based on my experience of one, I would wonder if you are like her and simply unable to send that particular child out into the world without you.

I would think WOW and ask for more details. Although in this country I would assume your child had some sort of additional needs or bullying issue that the schools haven't been able to met.

I read a lot of US blogs where they home school their children and there are lots of different reasons for it. Religion, bullying, and practicality. I read the Pioneer Woman and she home schools her four children because the nearest schools are 1.5 hours away each way on the school bus. They can also do more school work in the winter when there isn't much to do on the farm, and less in the summer when the cattle need working more.

Having friends in three of the formal education starts at 7 countries, the reality is that they go to kindy which is very similar to our school. ( they do read, they do learn several languages.)

Reading is a joy and allows a child access to everything. You don't need to cram a child to give them the gift of reading. ( not being able to choose food from a menu and having a four year old read your options is not good for self esteem)

I'm know climbing trees is great, mine love climbing trees, just not for hours every day.

I don't yet have children but if I was a rich parent, I'd love to HE my children for a few years and take them travelling around the world. I think that would be a truly wonderful and educational experience that I could imagine myself doing. Maybe I'll feel differently when I have my own but I couldn't imagine educating my own children FT. My sister has is a teacher and has already said she will HE her future children. She's an amazing teacher, so I imagine she'd do a fantastic job.

There are a lot of people who see the current one size fits all system as woefully inadequate inc many teachers. I know several teachers locally who love their job but don't agree with the system as it is and the milestones etc it sets. It needs to be more fluid and IMO children start formal learning far too young but we are set in our ways here and of course anything new will cost £££

Reading is a joy!

I asked before upthread - a HE family I know, with two children (13 and 11), that can't read. They don't know all the letters of the alphabet etc. surely as you get older, it gets harder to learn the 'basics'?

I find the above family very lazy. Our two year old knows several letters and their sounds already - but that's only because we put a concerted effort into pointing letters out to him, into making sure we read to him everyday, It's important to us that he has a love for words. This family just seems to take the approach that these skills 'will happen when the child is ready' - surely children do need to be pushed/guided and that things like the alphabet dont just magically fall into their heads?

Delphinium, I am not "amazed by negative response" because I think anyone is being rude! I understand you are being honest, which is great.

I just feel sad (and surprised) that so many people have such an honestly bad feeling about HE. I guess I assumed that more people were curious or intrigued, and am sorry to see that many many people are really very opposed to it. I know a lot of HEd kids, only one of whom is getting a crappy education (in my opinion), and none of whom are any more "weird" or unsocialised than their schooled peers. I have already written about my experiences, and don't want to be a bore and repeat myself.

Delphiniumsblue you've no idea why I asked? It's all in the OP
I have actually found you quite abrupt and defensive on this thread and I am not sure why.

Clara me too. I'm glad to get so many responses but I didn't expect so many stereotypes and assumptions.

• Having friends in three of the formal education starts at 7 countries, the reality is that they go to kindy which is very similar to our school. ( they do read, they do learn several languages.)

Reading is a joy and allows a child access to everything. You don't need to cram a child to give them the gift of reading. ( not being able to choose food from a menu and having a four year old read your options is not good for self esteem)

I'm know climbing trees is great, mine love climbing trees, just not for hours every day.*

Children in Sweden do go to nursery before school but in the many nurseries I have worked at non of the children were being taught to read, possibly learning their alphabet and learning to write their name but not actual reading.

Swedish educational results are similar if not slightly better than British results but research has shown Swedish children are happier and less stressed than British children. I dropped my ds at nursery this morning, the 5/6/7 year olds were getting ready for their day trip ( they do the same trip every Friday) they were packing a pull along cart with sheep skins to sit on, lunch to cook on an open fire and drinks,they go into the forest which is by a lake, they spend all day climbing trees, collecting wood for a fire, cooking their lunch, building dens, picking berries, they looked very relaxed and happy, non looked like they would rather be sat in a stuffy classroom wearing a grey school uniform reading a book which was chosen for them bassed on their reading level rather than their interests.

basket autonomous gets no negative thoughts from me at all I'm meaning more the radical unschooling.

And yep cliques and bickering indeed,I've had the misfortune to come across E freedom and heretic who both behave like a pair of stroppy 3 year olds and thrive on minions who hero worship.it can be a very very nasty environment full of unpleasant behaviour

That's what stereotypes are - people don't know much about HE so they rely on stereotypes.

I know, isn't that what I said?

Over controlling parents, hippie parents etc. child had problems at school. first thought. However one of my fb friends home ed her two and amazing what they doing but not see her since I was 15 so no idea of reasons behind home ed decision. Children certainly look happy and she seems to be following a plan with back up from somewhere

My initial thought would be weird! This is based on knowing two families who HE their kids who were very weird, as were the kids. One family pulled their kids out of school to HE and lived across the road from the school. I kid you not when I say they used to look forlornly out of the windows at picking up and dropping off times and break times, when all their former classmates were having fun together. The other family were Earth Mother/ hippy types.

Having said that I can see the advantages of having varied, interesting and one to one teaching. But I think the social aspect of it must make life hard for the kids or young adults, as one poster has referred to previously in her experiences as a HE kid.

The stereotyping is the same whatever type of education you choose though. People who have kids at private school are all rich snobs, those using Steiner or Montessori as all fluffy parents who can't control their spoilt brats, those at Grammar schools are from parents who wannabe rich snobs but can't afford it.....

We're all just judgemental!

I've re-read all my posts and I cannot see where I am "annoyed".

I said it was unexpected.

Think your last paragraph sums it u nicely freckletoes

I think, "I wish I had been".

I'm also toying with the idea of asking my employer to set up some sort of home school resource centre, somewhere people could sit exams if they are taking GCSE/A Levels, and have access to a college library and other resources (science labs, engineering/motor mechanics equipment that is just not practical to have at home) could book a session with a specialist teacher if they needed some support they didn't get elsewhere.

Interesting debate. I come across he families a bit. Many are doing brilliantly with dc s with Sen that mainstream schools couldn't provide for. There are some, and I stress that I am not saying more than some, who are using he to limit their child's options and to cover up chronic abuse.

You can learn to read at any age. There is no 'window' for reading.
There is for speech and language and communication.
So as long as a HE child was getting plenty of input in that area I wouldn't be concerned about them not reading early.
From what I have seen of HE children speech and language is not an issue.

Unless its children who are being neglected who would be neglected if the went to school or not. Taking kids out of school under the guise of HE is not HE is it?

It must be difficult for HErs to read the stereotyping and negativity but most people only know about HE from people on the internet and people on the internet tend to be very into the stuff the write about.

It would be easy to get a skewed view of HE as a Bit Mad if you just went by the stuff you saw posted on websites.

Also the more mundane stuff is not that interesting to the outside world so people don't catch on to it. They remember the massive bunfights.

I have a friend that HE her son. It is an alternative (ie not mainstream) way of life. They have a good network of other HE families.

I would love to HE my son, but do not have the financial backing or the patients to do so!