To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

being a parent isn't a vaccine against weirdness though, noddyholder

I'm always amazed that people are willing to do it, can trust themselves to be the best teacher that their child deserves.

I know two families who have homeschooled.

The first HE her boy until he was about 13 - she did a fabulous job. At 13 he asked to go to the local high school. She let him, but obviously didn't really want him to go. He is a very intelligent boy, and his ability to learn (and to WANT to learn) is amazing. He's a real credit to his mum.

The other family...well...their children are 11 and 13. They cannot read or do maths (they cannot do basic sums, and do not know all the letters of the alphabet). They spend a lot of time watching films, and playing outdoors. There is no structure to their days at all. The thing I'm most confused by is that their parents will send them to the local book-binder to learn to bind books, to a local artist to learn to draw, but won't send them to a maths teacher to learn maths. I disagree with this so much - the parents are (in my eyes, at least), holding their children back from reaching their full potential.
I imagine (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that learning to read and write at this late an age is very difficult?

Nobody has called parents weird or wankers Noddy, they've had these thoughts instinctively and been asked to share them honestly here.

I wouldn't dream of being anything other than polite to another parent, whatever our differences in style.

I am allowed my own thoughts though.

But if you are being polite and thinking wanker you are a bit odd I think.

I know very few parents who have home educated and yes, they were very 'alternative', a bit precious about their children and incredibly insular. In all cases the oldest child requested to go to mainstream school when they got to secondary school age.

The children found it incredibly difficult to socialise with non HE children.

I would like to hear more from children who have been home educated to know how they felt about it. How do HE childnre fit into the normal tedious working pattern that most of us adults have when we need to earn a living?

I agree, I don't usually think wanker about other parents. But weird... I think that quite a lot. And I know for fact that others think it of me.

Yes I am prob weird to some but hope they don't think wanker :)

My thoughts are that the parents are "alternative" and Dcs miss out on social interaction.
Sorry. But you did ask

My first reaction is that you're weird, and that removing children (with no good reason, e.g. horrific bullying) from the structure and social environment of school doesn't do anything to encourage and support them to build resilience, teach them skills which will allow them to fulfil their potential (unless you are a super-dooper brain box), and enable them to develop the skills required to mix with a wide range of people from across the social spectrum, both as a child and as an adult in the workplace, with all the structure and routine that will inevitably bring.

I wouldn't say this to your face, obviously. I'm too polite.

But if you are being polite and thinking wanker you are a bit odd I think.

That's not odd - that's called being civil. I think one of the girls I work with is an idiot, but I wouldn't say so to her face. I'm just polite and civil to her.

I would assume that the child has tried school and for a reason such as sn or bullying it hasn't worked for them. I would be jealous of a family with an income that could sustain a non working parent for that long. That is based on my limited experience of families who HE. I would admire the parent in the same way I admire primary school teachers.
I would feel pleased for the child.
I try very hard to be a live and let live kind of person. I think there are many different successful ways to bring up a child.
I find obnoxious comments like hedgecutters a real shame : I have met outstanding educators in and out of schools, people who transform children's lives. I am yet to meet a child I would describe as a drone irrespective of their clothing. I suspect her kids are wearing clothes that I would consider s type of uniform.
Op I think it's wonderful what you're doing for your ds. My 12 yrold ds1 has asd and is, with a lot of support, enjoying mainstream school. But if there was a problem, HE is one of the options I would consider.

I agree. I think 'wanker' about many people but remain polite.

Yes, that is true but it's important to know how to deliver new information to a certain age group regardless of teaching an individual or group.
Having sheets with some information on is different from understanding the curriculum and being able to teach effectively.
It's unlikely that a parent would have an all round knowledge of each subject unless they are already a teacher.

I don't agree with everything regarding school education but I prefer that option. Children learn skills at school that would be hard to imitate during HE.

If someone told me they were HE, then I would keep my opinion to myself. However, the OP has asked what your first thoughts would be.

I am actually quite surprised at how much knee jerk prejudice there is towards HE and people who do it. I didn't realise the extent of it and that the majority of people are so overwhelmingly negative towards what is essentially a parenting choice without even knowing that much about it. I'm surprised at how little people know tbh. It's an entirely legal alternative to an imperfect education system

I would be interested to know of any other parenting choice that is judged so harshly with so little knowledge.

I teach a girl who was home schooled and she is lovely. Very behind for her age though and lives for the Internet. She's ended up in a very low level group with the 'naughty' kids and its made her life very difficult. Plusses and minuses but will usually be somewhat insular.

My boys teachers commented on their massive general knowledge and how well read they are and on how lovely and well behaved they are and have sung their praises

But all of that is mainly down to parenting...not necessarily HE. I'm constantly told how well-behaved and polite mine are. DS1 is a game-show fanatic, everything from old re-runs of catchphrase to Mastermind and as a result has better general knowledge than me (he's 6). Both of mine have been in school since they turned 3.

I once taught a child who had been HE'ed up until he was 8 and he's the first thing that I'd think of, for all the wrong reasons, total wee horror.

I think hedgecutters was actually responding to other posters who said they felt sorry for HE kids.

What extra knowledge do you need though Nicki? It's a fairly basic concept to understand, and I feel like I know more than enough to form an opinion.

I know lots of parents who conventionally educate their kids but are dreadful parents otherwise! I really thought people were less judgey than this wrt home ed think I know so many it seems more normal

I'm fairly negative about it in many cases, but its an informed opinion. Why assume its ignorance?

I know loads of homeschoolers. They dip in and out of it, nice kids, nice families.

I wonder how parents can afford to commit to one of them not working and also what they will do when their children leave home: it's a very intensive form of parenting, and must lead to horrible empty nest syndrome in due course

to answer your initial question, I'd be very positive and interested because a few of my good friends home ed. its very common where i live. My friends are amazing and the children do such interesting and social things.

Because people have said that parents aren't qualified teachers, and so are not qualified to teach. Well there are HE classes to take them to, as well as other groups and tutoring and all kinds of other people who fet involved wirh the education side of it. It isnt 24/7 either and it isn't weird to want the best for your child.