To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

Out of interest. How many HE parents are dads?
How many dads are doing the bulk of the day to day educating?
I dont know of any.

HE is pretty unusual here to the extent I have only met one HE parent and child. She was frankly a little odd - spoke to him like a partner and acted like HE was the default option, so I would approach with caution. However it is something I find hugely interesting and if either if the DC found school ceased working for them I would seriously consider I would be full of questions and interest.

There's no need to give examples of bright, friendly HEd kids to me, I'd assume they would be both. Because let's face it, HE parents are going to be engaged, involved parents, and they produce nice, bright kids usually.

So I'm not at all surprised that HEd kids can be lively and intelligent, or that their parents can be lovely. I'd be more surprised if they weren't.

But that wasn't what I meant. I just think it's so very far from my own world I can't relate to it at all, and think of them as my equal, but 'other'.

Why are people insisting you spend 24/7 with your child if you HE?

I sure as Hell didn't. I got sick of their faces and had days off had plenty of time apart from them. They did clubs, courses, played out, went to friends, spend time with other family members, and sometimes I'd go off and do my own thing.

Why?

Strange. I don't know anyone who home educates. So to me, very very strange.

For NT kids? My initial reaction would be a pause and then I would be interested to know how long hey had been doing it. If they had decided to HE without trying school I would judge. I am more accepting of people removing children from school if something is going wrong.

In saying that the only family I know who HE tried school for a short period but the mum was always negative about it having hated school herself, I felt the reason she removed her child was all overblown and ultimately trivial and that she was projecting her own school experiences.

Can I ask the people who homeschool NT children, especially if you did it from the start, what was your school experience?

Children who have joined the school where I teach after being home-schooled have stood out as being a bit odd. There has also been a tendency (parents and children) towards feeling a bit superior/know-it-all. I understand that sometimes parents feel they are left with no choice for a variety of reasons, but it's not something I would choose to do despite being a teacher. I think the social side of school is so important.

brokenhearted, I do wish I'd been HE'd, definitely not to hang out with my parents 24/7 (God forbid) but to really learn rather than be taught to pass exams, to learn what interested me, to know there is more to life than exam results, not to be judged by school standards, and not to have any of the negative social experiences that are very common in secondary schools. And to have more time for hobbies, groups, where natural socialising takes place. I thrived as ani independent learner at University, not so secondary school.

DH had a great experience of school and says he wouldn't have wanted to miss out on it.

I think a lot of people on this thread, quite naturally, will be measuring HE according to the same measures as a school based education which is a bit artificial because they will never look the same.

ppplease I know a Dad who's the full time educator, the Mum works outside the home. They all seem happy with the arrangement and the Dad runs groups with other HE children.

Lucked I loved primary school; if the education system was the same, if I could have sent them to my school at the time I went I would without a shadow of a doubt.

Secondary school I was incredibly bored and frustrated at having the go at the pace of the slowest. I didn't enjoy socialising with my peers at all, wasn't really bullied and had plenty of 'friends' but very few I would bother with outside of school. My mum later said if she'd have known it was legal she would have home eded me for senior years and it would have suited me.

My negative opinions are based on working in schools, my teacher training. Plus consideration of my children's personalities.

ruth if they stood out as "odd" how much of that is you knowing they'd been home educated and so attributing any quirks to that? What about children from private schools? Did you have any of those, how did they and their parents come across. Do children from other countries stand out? Are they considered odd because of their cultural differences?

I think that HE is SO unusual that people will look for problems with it and any differences are far more likely to be labelled "weird" and seen negatively.

And as for those who worry about us spending 24/7 with out dc and not letting them breathe, at one of ds's clubs today, some arrived on the bus alone as their parents are working (they're old enough) and another comes with his "Manny" as his parents work too. Interestingly "Mannies" seem to be much more common in the HE world.

I would think that unless a parent is an experienced teacher and knows the curriculum/teaching methods inside out, then it's not a good idea. I would think that the social aspect would be hard to deal with.

I would SAY, ok good for you.

If think wow, rather you than me!

But many teaching methods are for group teaching and activities, I don't think we need to know those tbh.

'Poor kids' would be my first thought.

OP, I deliberately haven't read the thread so as not to be influenced...

I think three things:

Child might have SN

Parents are probably very confident people

And, oh dear. have only ever met two HE children - aged 16 and 17 - from different families. One was convicted of a serious crime. The other was the only child at the event we were at who came across as unfriendly and fiercely competitive. Probably an unfortunate (and very small) sample though

I would and have thought when told 'they are missing out' I would worry about the social side of things more for me even if the socialise with lots of other children and do various group activities I don't think it could be the same as the experiences you go through at school (the good and bad) they get you ready for the work environment

The next thing I would think is, FFS don't express that opinion on mumsnet!

would think that unless a parent is an experienced teacher and knows the curriculum/teaching methods inside out, then it's not a good idea

There are so many ways to HE, but I never "taught" my children as a teacher would. Some people do. We definitely didn't follow the National Curriculum - the point in HE for us was the freedom not to. We did some structured "work" but it was more a part of daily life than having "school time", and was definitely far, far less than it would have been at school.

believe it or not, despite very little sit down work and being largely (not completely) child-led, children entered school ahead of government expectations as far as the curriculum is concerned. I wouldn't be particularly concerned if they had been "behind" schooled peers in an area because I'm pretty sure their natural development will even it out. One child wrote much earlier than another, for example, and being HE it didn't matter - and there's no difference between them now.

I wouldn't think anything, we home educated for several years, we did it because pur elder two are summer born and weren't ready for school and I didn't like our catchment school at the time, ofsted 'outstanding' but a box ticking exexercise.

Plus I know several adults who were home educated and I have friends who are home educating. There is a boh home ed community in my area.

My boys did a wider variety of aactivities and met more diverse people when they were home educated. Our plan was to send them to School for high school, as it was illness meant they started earlier and the younger ones started school ad normal (though ds3 went part time until yr 2).

My boys teachers commented on their massive general knowledge and how well read they are and on how lovely and well behaved they are and have sung their praises.

The boys themselves enjoyed being home educated and enjoyed it. They had friends who went to school and some who didn't and they still do.

O don't know whether to be amazed or saddened by the stereotypes and negativity being expressed here.

And I am amazed by the acceptance that school is the right thing for children when pur education system is failing huge numbers of children, both with special needs and without.

As it is school is working fine for the eldest 4madthings, dd hadn't started yet and I will see how she gets on. If I needed to I would home educate again.

Nicki, I think they just generally seemed odd but obviously I'm not talking about lots and lots of children - just a very small sample. I can't compare to children from private school as they seem to make the move in the opposite direction, by which I mean the home-schooled children that I've met have been home-schooled and then came to us whereas children who go to private school tend to be with us first then go to private school when they're older. Again, this is only my experience. Some children from other countries do stand out and some don't but then I've met many more of them than home-schooled children. I wasn't aiming to offend - just sharing my experiences.

I know 2 dads but kids are smallish so don't know them Very common where I live

I hate the thought of people referring to other parents as wankers and weird .

You didn't offend me at all was just interested and trying to explore what you said.