To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

it was him happily avoiding work and getting lots of lovely attention for it

Little monkey

very opinionated dominant mother

A woman with an opinion you mean? Down with that sort of thing!

I hasten to add that I would never voice anything of this in RL to a HEing parent! I would do my general 'smile, nod and change the subject'.

My first response is negative because I've only ever seen or known negative examples of it.

(1) A family of four children who's parents don't allow them any normal, age appropriate social interaction (2) a family of 2 children who are very Christian fundamentalist and believe that mainstream school is "corrupting" them and (3) a child with very poor social skills, spoiled rotten who was pulled out of school in year 5 because of constant claims of being bullied when she in fact was perpetrating most of it.

I sincerely hope this is NOT the norm in home schooled children but it's the only examples I have.

Opinionated is fine-it is the dominant that is the problem to the child.They need to be able to listen.

My instinctive reaction is to think it's odd and that the kid is missing out. While understanding that in very exceptional circumstances it may be the best deal. But definitely negative, not positive.

A friend of mine does sort of part-time home schooling (two days a week in school, three days out of it). Her daughters are primary school age. They are quite lentil weavy, believing in raw food diets and all that sort of thing, but she's also a very creative and energetic person and I think the arrangement is working out well for the girls.

I did think of home schooling myself when my eldest daughter was very small, but as she got older I quickly realised i wouldn't be cut out for it. I can completely see the reasons for it though and I don't think it screams control freak at all.

So to answer your question, my instinctive initial reaction would be interest, followed by a slight pang of envy!

Honestly speaking? I would think one of three things - that you had been forced to take your dc out of school due to SEN or social difficulties that had not been properly addressed by the school system OR that you were a fundamentalist Christian (or perhaps other religion) and wished to control your child's access to alternative points of view OR that you had chosen to prioritise your own lifestyle preferences over and above the best interests of your child.

I know two families which fit the second model, and have worked with a couple of young people who were products of the third. I only know about the first from MN.

I am not religious in any way. My children know that some people believe in a God/Gods and worship in different ways.

I took my ds out because I really had no other choice, he went to four different schools and none could meet his needs.

He has significant additional needs that have almost become insignificant since I have taken him out for HE.

He often goes away alone to stay with grandparents. We travel quite a lot too.

I have a dd in mainstream school so am not against school when it is working.

I know a lot of other parents who HE for similar reasons and also have other dc in school.

Does any of this make those who view HE negatively re think at all?

i read the OP - i have no idea of your 'story' or whatever your educational opinions are

Haven't read the whole thread but my initial response in the past would have been 'weirdos!' But now that I have my own DD (only 6 months old) I have been thinking about HE for her. I'm a secondary school teacher but teach in a good school which covers all key stages. Despite this I look at schools as restrictive, stunting and too controlled.

Between us DP and I could cover everything except for languages and music but would get tutors for those if we were to pursue this route. I hate what has happened to education in recent years and when I hear bullshit about pupils being 'lead learners in class' my heart sinks.

The social aspect worries me but I'm sure DD can attend classes and clubs out of school time to mix with others.

Well I have posted repeatedly on this thread.

Anyway thanks for your input as limited as it is.

Opinionated is fine-it is the dominant that is the problem to the child.They need to be able to listen.

If you mean pathologically over-bearing why don't you just say so?

Home Ed families really are just as varied as anyone else.

In fact when you think about the more obvious reasons that people Home Ed (strictly religiously, very hippyish, SEN) even the stereotypes of the parents vary wildly and that's before you have given yourself a shake and had a word with yourself about stereotypes....

My reaction is indifference, it is just another educational choice. Actually I'd be more likely to make snap judgements about people who chose private education to be honest.

I might judge if the child wanted to go to school or was being home educated to avoid the world or exposure to other religions although I guess unless we want the state to mandate the upbringing of all children parents should be allowed to do what they like within the law. My way isn't the only way.

It often comes over as dominant. I have seen several threads saying 'my child loves school but I want to HE - what should I do?' Why even bother to ask? it isn't about the mother.

I'd just be interested. I know several home eding families through my work and they all seem happy, well adjusted and busy. Maybe that isn't the case for all HE children, but my experience would lead me to think they'd be happy and well cared for.

I don't view it negatively for those that have had to do it as the best option. There are lots of circumstances where I might do it myself.
I just view it negatively for those making it a lifestyle choice and first option.

Several years ago I did think about it for my daughter who is dyslexic. School were failing her miserably and we didn't know where to turn. But in the end we changed schools and she did well.
I would have loved to have the courage to Home ed when mine were little but senior school...hmm not so sure I think that's a good idea.
Admire anyone who does but I worried about the social side of things and friends etc.

I have seen several threads saying 'my child loves school but I want to HE - what should I do?' Why even bother to ask?

Oh I see. Well based on MN threads half the world is crackers. I think I've seen some of those threads and I quite agree those kind of parents sound worrying. Plenty of similar parents to be found at the school gates though.

But I promise you most HEers are disappointingly dull incredibly normal who have chosen to HE solely for the benefit of their DC.

Instinctively? That in the vast majority of cases either the child or the parent must have issues of some kind to want to home educate.

Surely that means vast numbers of the most vulnerable are being monumentally failed?

Not only that but the law is being broken by schools and LEAs on a huge scale every single day in this country in respect of SEN provision. Unfortunately the law is only as good as the enforcement/recourse.

Zzzzz you make a good point. I know of a special school in my lea which has had countless allegations of abuse (allegations that I know are well founded with good evidence) loads of neglect cases and a head teacher who doesn't even have a teaching degree.

However much these are reported, the majority of the children are now home schooled because no one will do any proper investigation.

Excluding SNs from this, for children who had no particular need to HE:

That the parents are selfish and putting their needs above the child's
That the family is a bit odd.

Agree entirely with the last two posts and would also like to point out that you just stop fighting in the end because there is NO recourse and your fighting is hurting your child because they are being kept where they are struggling until you can PROVE to the LA that they need more. That can take years and that suits the LA just fine.

Surely that means vast numbers of the most vulnerable are being monumentally failed?

I was wondering about this too. In the US, we have some pretty strong federal and state laws that afford substantial educational rights to children with disabilities. Sometimes I had to remind the schools my son went to of these rights, but in the end, they complied with our requests, and my child was well served by the state system.