To take breastfed DD with me to training?

[whynowblowwind]

I got a job the other day :) but I have to do a course on safeguarding. This lasts about 3 hours from approximately 9-12.

DD is 2 months; she is exclusively breastfed at the moment. I am wondering what to do about this course and wondered if I could just take her with me? It's quite am informal course they said and there will only be about 5 or 6 of us in total.

Alternatively I could ask a friend to have her but she won't take a bottle at the moment and still feeds very frequently.

What's best?

[Weathergames]

That was not a rant.

Maybe be more specific in future as to what replies you would like? :)

[pinkpip100]

OP, I'm surprised that you've had such harsh replies on here - I would have no qualms at all about taking a very young baby on a training course like this, providing I'd checked with the organisation first. I've done very similar with both ds2 and dd2 at similar ages - they both slept and I fed them during breaks. The care agency know the hours you are able to work, and the course is outside of these hours, so it seems totally reasonable to ask if you can bring your dd along. If they say no, or seem reluctant then fair enough, you'll have to call on your friend, but there really is no harm in asking, in my opinion.

[MeMyselfAnd1]

I'm with weather on this. And actually quite concerned that you have taken a care position when you have no childcare organised.

What would you do if baby had a bad night or is unsettled, let the elderly lady wait while you sort the situation at home.
Obviously, it is not that she needs to go out or anything of the sort, isn't it, but she may well get hungry or is about to wet herself (the lady not baby) while you get some time to pop out and do the work in a rush.

I understand you have a very young baby, but I have seen plenty of cases of abysmal care given to vulnerable elderly people that I cannot feel sympathy for your situation, and I say that as someone who is raising a child on her own with zero family around.

[whynowblowwind]

Weather for goodness sake ... I think I've explained enough times I don't mind "YABU" I do mind the other adjectives used to describe something I'm musing over.

Anyway I'm not being drawn into the whole pathetic and childish "why did you post if" I have said why I posted numerous times now.

I don't mind being told I am being unreasonable but anyone would think I'd shoved my bare arse in the nursing managers face not mused anonymously about whether I should have my very young baby with me on a one off training course!

Thank you for supportive comments - those that say I am bu and those that say I am not!

[MeMyselfAnd1]

Apologies for the double post, I thought the other ine had disappeared.

[whynowblowwind]

Abysmal care I haven't even started yet.

I would answer your question except to be honest it's none of your business ... It IS the business of the care agency and they have no worries at all about me working for them.

[ScarlettlovesRhett]

I don't think that the MEP is a 'poster girl' for working mothers though tbh. I would be annoyed if someone brought their children to work.

Like others have said, it's not nice to be in your position, but why won't your husband help with his child?

Have you asked him about the training day yet? Why is he so unsupportive - is he completely against you working or is it something else?

[ikeaismylocal]

I think babies in situations like this should be more encouraged in our society. Woman are the only ones who can breastfeed, many babies refuse bottles, I think to make the gap between men and women smaller breastfeeding mothers should be welcomed into appropriate work situations.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

I don't think YABU but I do think you are being extremely oversensitive. The best people to ask are the trainers.

[wigglylines]

whynowblowwind I'm sorry you've received such harsh replies, some people here just like to have a go, it's really fucking tiresome.

I totally understand where you're coming from. 2 months is very little, and if the baby is EBF of course you should at least be close at hand.

I think asking the trainer is totally reasonable, although they may say no, of course, but you never know, perhaps they might have an alternate way of giving you the training (you don't know until you ask).

If they say yes, as long as you're prepared to leave the room if the baby starts crying or otherwise disrupting the training, then there's no reason on earth why they shouldn't be there IMO.

FWIW my baby at that age did nothing much apart from feed, sleep and lie down. She hardly cried. If your baby is similar, I can't see how that would be a disruption to anyone except the professionally offended.

[Weathergames]

I was backing up my opinion with my (extensive) knowledge of the situation described .

[wigglylines]

Sorry to hear your partner is so unsupportive btw.

[MeMyselfAnd1]

I really don't think care agencies are particularly selective or do good checks. Years ago I applied for a care position but never joined as I got another job.

In these three years I have been getting certificates on updates of training I never undertook. I have contacted both the care agency and the training provider and they keep blaming each other, the trainer provider claims that I am in the list submitted by the agency, the agency says that is nothing related to them.

[whynowblowwind]

Scarlett, he won't mind sitting in with sleeping dd for an hour in the evening and in the morning - he WOULD mind, in fact he would refuse to take the day/morning off work and sit in a cafe for 3 hours with the baby. He does not understand why I want to work, never has really.

[Weathergames]

Really really not being harsh or nasty - this is what is expected in the workplace.

What if you miss something vital while soothing the baby and it has nothing to do with the "professionally offended" it's being focused completely on your safeguarding role and not being distracted and making a possibly fatal mistake.

[HandMini]

If you need to go and do some mandatory training, how can you at the same time take care of a baby who might need attention throughout?

None of us can guarantee that a baby of any age won't get fussy, tired, hungry, screamy and need attention.

If you need to "pop out to feed" as you suggest, or your baby needs some walking round / fresh air, are you just going to miss chunks of the course?

For that reason, I think you should not take the baby.

It's all very well to hope for a best case scenario where baby sleeps for three hours in a sling and you can get on with your training but you should plan for a worst case scenario where your baby is needy in that three hour period and you need to be doing the training, therefore you need someone else to care for her.

Sorry your husband is an idiot.

[wigglylines]

" I would be annoyed if someone brought their children to work."

Why?

Would you be annoyed if someone's children were brought to were and were disruptive (totally understandable) or just on principle, even if they weren't disruptive at all?

My best mate did a job (ran an after school club) with her baby/toddler in a sling. And why not? She was good at her job, but couldn't afford childcare at the time. (This was in the US, maternity is really short there. Would have been better if she could have had a longer maternity, but in the absence of it, it worked for her).

[whynowblowwind]

MeMyselfandI, what DO you want?

Do you want me to say "right, ok, I'll give back word on the job because actually I am a useless waste of space and I'll probably be really shit at it and ruin the elderly lady's life"?

Do you?

If not ... What is the point? I just don't see what point you're trying to make as it seems like you just want me to think I'll be rubbish at the job?

[whynowblowwind]

Lol ... do you know I think I will just leave it, maybe you are right and it was daft thinking I could make it work.

Please don't keep posting having a go, I've agreed I won't do it, so leave it there now, please?

[wigglylines]

"you should plan for a worst case scenario where your baby is needy in that three hour period"

How would a baby be needy? The OP knows her baby. Neither of mine were any trouble at that age, I could take them anywhere. As long as they had access to boobs when they wanted them, they were as good as gold. I don't even understand what you mean by "needy" really. (Now they're older it's a different story though!).

If the baby has colic, or is a baby who fusses or cries a lot the OP will know that, I expect she know what her baby is like.

[Weathergames]

Are you doing the job because you are attracted to the work or are you doing the job to feel better about yourself and solve your own issues - what are your motivations?

Your baby is very very young to be thinking about taking a new volunteering role and your partner is clearly not supportive (if he were it would be a whole different ball game?)

[kali110]

Op think your being really oversensitive and defensive herw. No one is saying you're crap or that you're going to be crap at your job.

[whynowblowwind]

She is very quiet mostly.

Weather I'm not doing the job, I've said this already. Please leave it.

[wigglylines]

whynowblowwind asking the trainer can't hurt. Please don't let the people who want to have a go on here put you off. They trainer might be sympathetic and let you do it, or even welcome a chance to spend time with such a little baby, I know I would.

I went to a conference with my baby in a sling. That was fine too. She did get a bit shouty at one point so I left the room. People were very understanding. (It was a conference on inclusion mind!)

I was allowed to take my (sleeping) toddler into the computer room at uni to finish some work for a deadline. That's not officially allowed, but he was fine and they let me do it.

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ask - the worst they can say is no.

FWIW, I've taken my daughter to meetings about return to work, even to presentations I've done which have been on my days off and I've been unable to use my usual childcare options. The last time she was 2.4 and great with some puzzles, books and drawing. At two months, she was a miserable shit high needs baby but was fine in a sling with a boob in her mouth intermittently. I could easily have done a three-hour course. She would also not have a bottle, and DH's AL was more precious than to use a day on a training course for me, so I understand in part where you are coming from