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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think we should be allowed to have different opinions on threads without being insulted?

115 replies

gorionine · 10/06/2014 19:47

I hesitated between an AIBU and a "Flouncers'corner" I decided to go to AIBU because it is not personal , not something that was directed at me in particular but sadly something I see more and more on threads.

I could have chosen "flouncers corner" because I am not going to post again (I shall carry on lurking)Smile

OP posts:
gorionine · 10/06/2014 19:49

I should have said I will not be posting anymore except on this thread obviously!Smile

OP posts:
RedTractorBlueTractor · 10/06/2014 19:50

I'm a little confused?

thebodylovesspring · 10/06/2014 19:52

There are talk guidelines. If they have been broken you get a warning and then banned for a short while. Persistent offenders get banned for good.

Mrsjayy · 10/06/2014 19:53

Before you go off what you talking about

Calloh · 10/06/2014 19:53

YANBU, I've noticed it a bit too recently. How quickly things can descend into a slanging match can be a little trying.

I also hate it when poster after poster puts the same basic, and usually fairly insulting message across.

gamerchick · 10/06/2014 19:55

Of course you're allowed to have an opinion.. as long as you're willing to back it up over weeks with written proof, research and zen diagrams. Grin

There are some who get a bit heavy handed but you have to learn to let most of it wash over you.

Don't let it push you off.

Bowlersarm · 10/06/2014 19:58

I don't think it's changed has it?

I remember having a little look and poke around MN about 6 years ago, and was petrified of AIBU. I hastily retreated, and had to build up to it Smile

It took me about 4 years to join up and stop lurking.

gorionine · 10/06/2014 20:16

gamerchick I used to come on MN a lot, probably far too much and really really enjoy it. In the last 3 years I have not had many chances to come due to family and work commitments. During the last 10 days, I was on holiday and the DC were not home much so I had a chance to MN binge which I thought I would enjoy but I did not because it seems like to much hard work. I totally agree with Of course you're allowed to have an opinion.. as long as you're willing to back it up over weeks with written proof, research and zen diagrams. Especially the zen diagrams I think we could do with a bit more of zen anything.Smile

For those who are asking for an explanation, I mean I posted things people disagreed with in the past or have myself disagreed with posters, sometimes even strongly disagreed but I never went straight away with a "FUCK OFF! my aunty Janine did this and blabla bla. " (as an example). I think posters are attacking each other in a more personal way than they did rather than challenging an opinion IYSWIM.

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 10/06/2014 20:19

YANBU but what's a zen diagram?

fingersonbuzzers · 10/06/2014 20:23

I think there's a lot of shooting people down when they're worried about something.

So someone will post about being worried about missing their child when they're with GPs or something and people will storm on and tell them to stop being ridiculous or precious.

You just think - FFS, how hard is it to just say "I know you find it hard but honestly it will be fine".

Also another thing I've noticed in AIBU is if anyone posts something about poor behaviour they've witnessed a load of posters will pile in to interrogate the OP about what they, personally, did about the situation. As if it's all somehow the OP's fault that a random stranger did something bad in public Confused

Lweji · 10/06/2014 20:26

It's a Venn diagram, they tend to be not very much zen, sadly.

gorionine · 10/06/2014 20:28

YANBU but what's a zen diagram? I think it is a typo for venn diagram but I found it very appropriate.

OP posts:
littledrummergirl · 10/06/2014 20:28

A zen diagram is a load of interlinking circles with the info logged according to group.
Eg
2 overlapping circles, one with 3x tables, one with 4x tables.
3,6 &9 go in one circle
4&7 go in the other
12 goes in the overlapping section.
Hope that makes sense.

gorionine · 10/06/2014 20:30

sorry, x-posted

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 10/06/2014 20:30

I think sometimes the shooting down in flames is justified, as with disablist/racist or any other kind of 'ist' posts - and there have been a lot of them.

But then I reckon behaving like a dickhead on a thread where someone clearly needs some help and support (even if it is posted in AIBU) is just twatty. And some posters are just contrary for the sake of it.

I'm hoping you meant a Venn diagram, though I'm liking the idea of a zen one. Grin

wafflyversatile · 10/06/2014 20:35

That's a Venn diagram.

PrincessBabyCat · 10/06/2014 20:36

Also another thing I've noticed in AIBU is if anyone posts something about poor behaviour they've witnessed a load of posters will pile in to interrogate the OP about what they, personally, did about the situation. As if it's all somehow the OP's fault that a random stranger did something bad in public

Yeah, but come on. We all know they're full of shit. If they were in the same situation they'd keep their heads down and avoid eye contact with said person. Even if it was something extreme, most would discretely call the police and stay out of it. It's easy being a keyboard warrior though.

I also like how if someone is irritated at someone there's inevitably the "My died! I'd give anything for them to -insert said irritating thing-". Also a lie, they'd be posting a thread too if they were still alive.

And my favorite... Whenever a family member falls short of very reasonable expectations it's "You're entitled", "It's your responsibility you knew what you were in for when you got pregnant/stayed at home/whatever", "I made do with this and was happy. Look how happy I am! Angry", and "I'm glad you're not my family member". I sort of feel like these guys are just projecting to normalize it a bit so they don't feel as shitty about their own shitty family.

littledrummergirl · 10/06/2014 20:37
Blush Clearly I am not paying attention tonight. Please be gentle Grin
gorionine · 10/06/2014 20:42

I loved it littledrummergirl I thought you had done it purposely [starts another thread in 'pedants' corner']Wink

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/06/2014 20:43

I've just done many loud laughs.. thankyou Grin Yes we do need a lot more zen on here.

IneedAwittierNickname · 10/06/2014 20:46

Yanbu, but I find it happens everywhere. I've come accross it a lot on facebook recently too.

Nocomet · 10/06/2014 20:47

I'm unrepentantly guilty of a fuck off to a goody OP today. (Thread deleted) no idea what the OP was.

frames · 10/06/2014 20:52

Returning after a good few years, there is more support from posters in terms of relationships. Lots more swearing. Any humourseems to be dying, irony or sarcasm being used to deal with unacceptable situations is taken as offensive.

gorionine · 10/06/2014 20:54

Not sure I understand how you can do that without knowing what OP is (if OP indeed means what I always believed to be 'opening post/poster')Confused

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/06/2014 21:07

See I think it depends on what part of the board you're on. AIBU, well yanno most of us knows what thats like... chat can go either way. the mental health boards oooze with support and so do relationships for the most part (or even stevens) etc.. The forum as a whole is supportive or funny aside from a few black spots or pot luck.

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