To not want to get too involved with school life?

[Pinkrosesarebest]

Just that really. My twin sons are in Reception. So we are only at the beginning of our school journey really. I will help out in the future I am sure but haven't so far. I always send in money when asked. However 2 mums talked very loudly near to me and quite pointedly today and said it's always the same ones helping out, signing up or organising PTA events. Surely it is a choice rather than an obligation?

I can only compare to 1 other local school and the teachers are very involved there. The chair there believes this has a direct effect on parents helping out, and attendance of events too.

I'm so disheartened by lack of enthusiasm from parents and teachers I really don't care anymore. I've got 3 years left and have decided that I'll help out only when a member of staff does. Churlish, yes I know.

word I think it takes an alpha-career-woman type to be an effective chair and keep the momentum. You have to be relentless and have thick skin too I think. Hats off to those willing to take it on, I'm not made of the right stuff. I do think all the PTA roles should automatically come for election every 2 years though.

I wondered that too kerala

Oh right, now the teachers are supposed to be involved more too. god it has no end, the outrageous swathes of useless lazy people who don't understand their duty to the PTA. Right now next door to me there is a 70-year old lady in her garden doing a bit of gentle weeding. WHICH DOES NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL, FOR THE LOCAL PTA. how dare she.

"want to contribute more to what is essentially a business?" I agree with you, Kerala, but don't forget they are legally charities and presumably style themselves as such in this context (although I don't actually know the tone or manner in which this is done as I have nothing to do with any private schools)

I am not an alpha career woman at all! However I have had no complaints about my chairship, which I hope is democratic and welcoming.

I do think some people on here think it is much cooler to PTA bash. It's a microcosm of being at school I guess, with all the perceptions of being teacher's pet. I kind of hoped we had grown up by now though...

queenmab I think the sun has gone to your head

KERALA1 I'm glad its not just me that thinks that, surely the fees I pay for DD should be enough without constant PTA demands, they ask for more than DS' state school do as well, for example next week both children have own clothes day, DDs prep wants £2 for the privilege, DS' school want £1, yet I imagine DS' school need the money far more.

Yup queenmab - you have just proven my point. Much cooler to use wild hyperbole about the unreasonable expectations of all those PTA dorks.

Look, there it is again, the pompous insinuation that anyone who objects to anything about PTAs or how they do things is just immature. It is hilarious.

Not all PTAs have charity status.

Um... I don't think I am objecting to the insinuation that anything PTAs do is wrong. I am sure that many of them do plenty wrong. I am asking that people don't make wild generalisations. I get the distinct impression you are trying to play to a "gallery" here - so I will disengage. Pompously.

"Look, there it is again, the pompous insinuation that anyone who objects to anything about PTAs or how they do things is just immature. It is hilarious."

Sooomuch easier to battle straw men than engage in reasonable debate!

x-posts. there is no logic in any of the pomp here. Those who doubt and worry and soul search have expressed things like

• should I do more? What could I not do instead? Are my priorities correct?

• it is really efficient for my time to be used in this way when there are so many really important things I don't have time to do already?
• does the school need money? what is it for? Are these priroties correct?
• what about the social function of events? If they are good for esprit de corps then great, but if everyone hates them, then what are they for?
• if it is being implied that I should help, then on what basis? What do they know that I don't? What do they know about ME?
• if they want more help, what could they change about making sure they get it? What barriers to entry are there?

etc etc - all well expressed logical positions

• then you get reasonable PTA types who say "fair enough, do what you can, lob in a cheque if you want"

• then you get the true-blue judgey PTA types who start accusing people with objections of immaturity (the hilarious fallback of a contentless superior attitude - ironically straight from school days itself) ; sighing that the teachers don't do more (when?); saying "I mean those who DO have time" (as if they know? A point that has been made many times and ignored) - it is hilarious, the puffed up ness of those who have an instinctive association with the most thoughtless forms of quasi-virtue and authority

and yes I do love hyperbole for comic effect but you know that is not my argument. Many on here have no arguments at all, none

Kerala

I think PTAs at schools like my DC's prep, continue because

1. a lot of the activities were fabulous fun. I mean the summer fair I was describing was terrific. My DC, now teens, still talk about them!

1. the activities kind of became traditions. They sort of became expecyed by the pupils, staff and parents.

1. the money raised was often for something tangible. So the parents could imagine it, understand what they were getting, and buy into the idea of it. And the resources always benefited the DC directly.

Now none of these things were necessary in anyone's books. Luxuries, for already massively advantaged DC. Sometimes I felt a bit uncomfortable about that.

1. There was a feeling of cutodianship amongst the parents. That the school had been there a long time and would continue long after our DC had left, but that each generation of parents left the school improved.

1. The money raised for charity was a big driver.

allhail, to give you an idea of how the PTA in a private school go about their demands, the last email i got from the PTA at DDs school said

This year we have raised x amount
(breakdown of how much at each event)

What we spent our money on

Music and Drama equipment, a new stage, coaches for school trips to x, y and z and don’t forget we’re saving for fabulous new playground equipment!

which is very similar to the emails I get from DS' state school PTA (although they've built their playground now and are saving for a bike/scooter shed)

Oh ffs queenmab. Read my previous posts on this thread you hilarious entertainer, you.

So am I wrong in assuming that Teachers should be actively involved. Considering it is a Parent Teacher Association.

I am not demanding that they are more involved. Just involved.

Partridge, sorry if I have missed some important stuff but the bit I find hilarious is

"I do think some people on here think it is much cooler to PTA bash. It's a microcosm of being at school I guess, with all the perceptions of being teacher's pet. I kind of hoped we had grown up by now though..."

It's the ellipsis that makes it. It looks as if you have a clip board and a pen on a string round your neck and you are looking down your nose at me as you say these things, and you are now going to turn on your heel and swoosh off into the prefects common room, where I am not allowed to follow you

but thanks for saying I am a hilarious entertainer. I aim to please!

I think it's unrealistic to expect teachers to be too actively engaged- great if they can, but I would rather they were teaching, to be honest. I would certainly expect some to turn up for events if they can- a teacher's table at a quiz night, for example- and to be supportive of anything we do, like Father Christmas visits and so on. At our secondary school, the teachers are expected, at the very least, to come up with a bottle for the tombola!

Well then you have got me absolutely wrong. And that is pretty patronising tbh. Because actually I am pretty laid back and do not conform to the stereotype that you have just reinforced in your last post. At all.

I also happen to agree that it isn't cool putting pressure on people, or judging people who don't want to get involved - although most people help in some way (even if financially) and I would like to think that they get the opportunity to have a say on allocation of cash (we vote for this in meetings). So I am not sure who you are so angry (masquerading as being amused) with.

Interesting that someone too busy to make a quick phone call to find out who to make her annual donation payable to appears to have plenty of time to polish a well turned phrase..........

Or in other words, interesting that someone with any apparent leisure time at all isn't putting it to the service of the PTA - there it is again, the judgement of other people's priorities

xihha that's interesting that they make requests of donations!

I don't recall that ever happeneing at our school.
It was more a case of the PTA putting on lavish events, then selling tickets, and parting you from your wallet when you got there ...

The requests we would get by email were for practical help, donations of stuff for tombolas, auctions, raffles, corporate sponsorship.

One thing that made all the differecne to the huge amounts of profits the PTA turned as alcohol. There was a bar at most events, which always brought in the mulah. When the new head arrived, I remember him being a bit concerned about alcohol at 'family' events, but he soon changed his tune when he discovered the thousands that went through the tils .

I generally would volunteer to man the bar for a few hours. Always fun. Better than clearing up duty!

Sorry Partridge, didn't mean to be mean. I am sure you do a great job and aren't like that at all, I don't mean anything personal at all to you or anyone on this thread. I'll get it deleted if you are upset. I apologise