Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

put my dog to sleep?

243 replies

booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 17:34

I am being unreasonable, I feel terrible and I deserve whatever flaming I get.

I've made an appointment to get my little dog put to sleep. I'm tried to rehome him, but all the rescues around here are full, I spoke to the dog warden and he advised in our situation to get him pts.

We got him 4 years ago when he was 2, an elderly acquaintance had him a few months but couldn't cope with him, so we stupidly took him on without knowing his history.

He is aggressive to other dogs, every other dog, he has no recall, he barks constantly whenever we leave him in the house and now he has started snapping at DD. I don't know what else to do Sad.

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 11/06/2014 12:37

I have been in that position dreamingon. 4 years later dd2 is 6. Ddog is also 6. They both get on quite well these days.

It is not impossible to manage a difficult dog and young children.

Gen35 · 11/06/2014 12:38

Because she's got serious mh issues with a massive hallmark of making poor decisions LEM. Not just one dog either. Can't say more as I love her dearly and don't want her to be identified.

Hakluyt · 11/06/2014 12:39

Oh, and I find the idea of a "no kill" rescue centre irresponsible and cruel

Years in a cage just in case somebody might come along and choose it? Really? Becoming less and less likely to be chosen as the years go on?

Singlesuzie · 11/06/2014 12:44

I just fail to understand why people think that for a creature with no sense of the future or of time, being put in a cage for the foreseeable future is better than dying peacefully and painlessly. There are far worse things that can happen to a dog than being PTS. Seriously.

I totally agree with this. I love my pets and have been very lucky with their behaviour but if it was a choice between one of them being in a perpetual state of stress, being put through rehoming, kennels, rehoming again, behaviourists, exposed to the triggers continually until it was worked out what the cause was (if it was ever worked out) or having them peacefully fall asleep on my lap never to suffer again? I know what would be the kinder choice for that animal. PTS is not a punishment. We need to let go of this idea that it's the same as PTS a human. It is entirely different.

thetoysarealiveitellthee · 11/06/2014 12:50

OP have you said if you have tried your pet insurance?

Just driving to a rescue and saying you need to leave the dog with them or you are going to have it PTS? (they always say they are full on the phone, yet always seem to have space when people actually turn up with one) I disagree with your comment about not being able to do this - the dog will get over the initial shock and rescues have people who have dealt with far worse. If the dog could talk Im pretty sure it would say this is the preferred option.

Can you cancel the vets appointment and use the money to pay for one session (a decent trainer should be able to tell from one session what needs to be done)

Honestly it doesnt sound to me like you have considered every option. PTS would have to be the absolute final and only choice for me.

I guess what Im saying is it sounds to me like you know you haven't considered every option otherwise you would be comfortable with what you are doing and wouldn't be posting here.

SelectAUserName · 11/06/2014 12:57

If the dog could talk Im pretty sure it would say this is the preferred option

Really? Hmm

But since it can't, this emotive anthropomorphism is spectacularly unhelpful.

a decent trainer should be able to tell from one session what needs to be done

Quite often, the answer is "more sessions". And almost certainly "time and patience" which the OP doesn't have because the dog has started showing aggression to her daughter.

Seriously, either pick the dog up in person or stop kicking the OP when she's down.

TravelledByVacuumTube · 11/06/2014 12:59

Here, here, SelectAUserName. You said everything I wanted to say, only better.

Hakluyt · 11/06/2014 13:02

"PTS would have to be the absolute final and only choice for me."

Why?

Singlesuzie · 11/06/2014 13:02

the dog will get over the initial shock and rescues have people who have dealt with far worse

How do you know he will get over it? Being left alone with strangers in a place that he has never been after living with OP for 4 years- that is one hell of a shock to the system- especially for a dog that has existing issues. And it's not really about the staff being able to cope- it's about the dog and what is the option that will reduce his suffering (if he is stressed he is suffering). Leaving him in a crowded rescue will increase his suffering.

Hakluyt · 11/06/2014 13:04

"I guess what Im saying is it sounds to me like you know you haven't considered every option otherwise you would be comfortable with what you are doing and wouldn't be posting here."

That is utter bullshit. If you had ever had a terminally ill animal PTS you would know that it's an agonising choice even in that situation.

Singlesuzie · 11/06/2014 13:05

I dont even like leaving my dog at my parents' overnight because it's not his home and he isnt as comfortable there as he is at home. The thought of leaving him, permanently with strangers in a loud, busy rescue would break my heart. He would be terrified.

LEMmingaround · 11/06/2014 13:18

No one is ever comfortable putting thier pet ttosleep. Im an ex vet nurse so have objectively assisted in many pts. I found it a very rewarding part of my job because I knew I was ending an animals suffering and stress to the point of aggression IS suffering. I have seen grown men cry like a baby and the guilt is crippling. I had to make this decision for my own dogs. One of my rotties was in kidney failure and I was torn - I knew I could give him a few more weeks, maybe months if I put him on another drip. But that would have been for me because I couldnt bear to loose him. The guilt that j felt was indescribable but my dog just looked at me that day and if he could have spoke his words would have been - let me go, ive had enough. It broke my heart but I did it for him. If I was the op id be doing the same thing. It would be the right thing but I wpuld be indecisive and wravked with guilt. There isn't a happy ever after here. The rescues are all full. The op doesnt have a choice.

TheWordFactory · 11/06/2014 13:21

If a dog is dog aggressive, there is a very good chance that he is frightened of other dogs...

How putting the poor soul in a rescue with lots of other dogs is considered a kind thing, I do not know!

As for behaviourists, well, I have a couple of friends who have been shelling out for years and still things are difficult. In the meantime, I wouldn't let my dog near their's...

LadyNexus · 11/06/2014 13:21

If it's the only choice left to you op then that's that.

I must ask though, are the behaviourists very expensive by you? Our dog was very fearful and aggressive to other dogs, not long after we had him I fell pregnant and immediately booked in with one, they were fantastic. Different dog now.

I guess the only thing I'd criticise you for is waiting for 6 years before you got to this point? Surely training should have started when you had him, or definitely when you found out you were pregnant? This was foreseeable.

Hope you give him a steak.

thetoysarealiveitellthee · 11/06/2014 13:25

Erm...surely PTS is always the final option?

Or does PTS on MN not actually mean Put To Sleep?

I know its not a decision Ive ever taken lightly that's for sure, and it has always been the final and only choice left for me to take. Not sure why it wouldn't be Confused

Hakluyt · 11/06/2014 13:32

"I know its not a decision Ive ever taken lightly that's for sure, and it has always been the final and only choice left for me to take. Not sure why it wouldn't be "

Nope. A responsible pet owner might choose PTS when there are still other options- such as long term painful medical treatment, immobility or an uncertain amount of time in a cage in a rescue centre. My aunt put her dog through 18 months of cancer treatment. It was an outrageously selfish, cruel thing to do.

LEMmingaround · 11/06/2014 13:32

Erm... pts is the best option here. Yeah the dog COULD go to rescue but it wouldn't be the best option for the dog. Unless people are suggesting yhe op rehomes her daughter instead....

LEMmingaround · 11/06/2014 13:39

Hakluyt - I totally agree. The worst part of my job was having to continue treatments in animsls that were just not going to get better. I shed more tears over that than a dog being pts. My other rottie had bone cancer our policy is generally not to wake animals up with that diagnosis. Again I could have continued and amputated his leg and then put him through chemo - fuck that. I gave him a dignified and pain free end and he died in my arms. Again there was guilt but it was the right thing to do.

Have seen the result of an aggressive dog being kept in a no kill kennels. We had enquired about this dog when we got our rescue but wasn't allowed to take him. Four years later that poor dog was still in the kennels skin and bone.circling and distressed. I sobbed..he should have been pts. It was downright barbaric to keep him like that.

salsmum · 11/06/2014 13:43

Have you tried Little Dog Rescue? booksandchocs

SistersOfPercy · 11/06/2014 13:44

No one is ever comfortable putting thier pet ttosleep

I disagree with that Lem. I've lost my 2 boys over the course of the last 2 years and I was incredibly comfortable with my decision. One was a 9 year old dog with Copper Storage Liver Disease who became incredibly ill, the other our 14 year old boy with end stage cancer. Both were very easy decisions to make and whilst holding them close at the end certainly wasn't easy it wasn't something I was uncomfortable with because they were both being put out of pain.

This thread does make me uncomfortable, and I confess having a dog PTS in these circumstances would make me uncomfortable, however, it's not for me to judge OP's choices based on her lifestyle.

LEMmingaround · 11/06/2014 13:50

Maybe uncomfortable with is the wrong choice of words as yes it is often the best choice.

LadyNexus · 11/06/2014 13:52

It does seem to be the best decision in this case.

Just such as shame that the situation was very foreseeable.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 11/06/2014 13:53

Ok, I just want to clarify a few points..... when we first Gotham, we took him to one on one training, to rectify the pulling on lead we were told to use a halti, to this day he hates it as much as the first day he put it on, when he gets anxious seeing another dog he wriggles out of it, so I have him on a double ended lead and have to drag him away from the situation. To help with the dog fear we were told to socialise him with other dogs, those dogs were bitten (not badly, but enough to draw blood) why should these dogs be endangered to help mine? it's not fair on them. instead of doing anything about it we generally just avoided most dogs, kept to quiet routes, no street walking. He hates us leaving him, but we have no choice, we need to go to work.

Having him brings no joy or pleasure to our lives, we can't take him to friends houses visiting, we can't take him to the park when we take DD, we can't walk to the shops if we need milk.

He is pretty miserable and it's unfair. After reading posts on here, a rescue centre is the last thing I'm going to do.

I fucking hate the bastard who first had him. He has scars and we believe he had been used for baiting. They cut the tips off his ears.

Lem, I promise I'm going to be with him, I was going to just leave him but realise he needs to be with someone he knows.

OP posts:
thetoysarealiveitellthee · 11/06/2014 13:54

Hakluyt Wed 11-Jun-14 13:32:05
"I know its not a decision Ive ever taken lightly that's for sure, and it has always been the final and only choice left for me to take. Not sure why it wouldn't be "

Nope. A responsible pet owner might choose PTS when there are still other options- such as long term painful medical treatment, immobility or an uncertain amount of time in a cage in a rescue centre. My aunt put her dog through 18 months of cancer treatment. It was an outrageously selfish, cruel thing to do.

See in my eyes, putting an animal through needless suffering that has no chance of ever improving isn't an option. If an animal is terminally ill there is only one outcome so only one choice if its suffering. In this case there are other options that IMO OP doesn't seem to have considered.

And no Im not some silly woman who woudl rescue a dog over a child in a house fire or any other shit like that. Im just a responsible dog owner who believes ALL options need to have been explored before PTS. There is no going back from that, so the person instigating it needs to be certain. OP doesnt seem certain to me.

LadyNexus · 11/06/2014 13:57

Books my dog had to have a muzzle while he was being socialised, I'm surprised your trainer didn't suggest that.

I was told avoiding other dogs/situations where my dig felt anxious was the absolute worst thing I could do (which is what I was doing before I saw the behaviouralist)

I sympathise as when we first had duke it was as you just described, no fun at all. But it got so much better.