Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

put my dog to sleep?

243 replies

booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 17:34

I am being unreasonable, I feel terrible and I deserve whatever flaming I get.

I've made an appointment to get my little dog put to sleep. I'm tried to rehome him, but all the rescues around here are full, I spoke to the dog warden and he advised in our situation to get him pts.

We got him 4 years ago when he was 2, an elderly acquaintance had him a few months but couldn't cope with him, so we stupidly took him on without knowing his history.

He is aggressive to other dogs, every other dog, he has no recall, he barks constantly whenever we leave him in the house and now he has started snapping at DD. I don't know what else to do Sad.

OP posts:
bubalou · 09/06/2014 18:21

Sorry - my best friend is a dog trainer who Ido regular pack walks with and it is NEVER the dog - it is always the owner.

You are basically going to kill your dog because of something that isn't his fault. That poor animal.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 18:22

Thanks everyone for not flaming me, I do feel immensely guilty, but that won't change, it's taking me weeks to build up the courage just to phone the vets but the appointment has been made for Thursday. thanks for everyone who pointed out that a good death is better than a miserable life.

OP posts:
Needadvice5 · 09/06/2014 18:22

I took on a rescue 4 years ago that sounds very similar to yours, he is so aggressive towards other dogs that it is embarrassing, growls if you walk past him, snaps if you fuss him.......

He really is vile and I have considered having him PTS but I know he had a rough start in life so I can't bring myself to do it!!

He's happy being left alone and will happily come to you but only on his terms.

Good luck in whatever you decide, you certainly don't deserved to get flamed.

bubalou · 09/06/2014 18:23

By the way I understand e is snapping at dd and obviously that is a concern but there will be local trainers / obedience classes that are very fairly priced.

Where are you? We are in essex and the trainer I know is awesome.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 18:24

bubalou, I do get very anxious walking him, now. I wasn't to start with, not until he attacked another dog a few weeks after I got him. what. do u think I should do then?

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 09/06/2014 18:27

it is NEVER the dog - it is always the owner.

I guess if the OP were a highly qualified dog trainer she could work out what she isn't doing that could help him and the problem would be sorted.

She has tried hard to solve the problem but, without access to expensive knowledge and expertise, she can't.

She already feels bad enough and has tried every option she can think of. Unless you have something constructive to say that may help her resolve a distressing situation, I strongly suggest you say nothing further.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 18:27

needadvice- that's why I feel so bad, it's.not his fault he is like this now, it's whatever he went through before we got him. bubalou- we are hundreds of miles away so not an option, we have tried local trainers and it hasn't worked.

OP posts:
unobtanium · 09/06/2014 18:27

bubalou, you're talking out of your arse.

OP, I have had to do something similar for my brother, a few years back. It was hard but I have no regrets and no guilt.

Ummmmgogo · 09/06/2014 18:30

Congratulations on making the appointment. If the people on this thread who don't agree with your decision want to take the dog, I'm sure they are more than welcome to him. If you are not going to take the dog then please leave the op alone. She has been through enough making this choice she doesn't need your guilt trips! She has made the best choice for everyone. Well done op! Xx

higgle · 09/06/2014 18:32

We adopted a rescue Staffie nearly 2 years ago. He is 10 and very dog agressive. Apart from that he is a nice dog. He only hates other dogs because he was put in kennels for 2 years when his last owner didn't want him. I just walk him on the lead at quiet times and don't have any problems. There is always the option to use a muzzle if you need to.

Please don't have him PTS, I know this is very wrong but I'd tie him to the gate of a rescue place rather than do that.

todoaboutnothing · 09/06/2014 18:33

Where are you based? This isn't me having a pop at you OP but sometimes with aggressive/problem dogs the handler being wary can actually make the situation worse. I worked in a rescue for a long time, have a ton of experience and if you were anywhere near local I'd offer to help.

If you honestly can't find him a suitable home and you believe he is a danger to other animals and your children... The responsible thing to do would be PTS. It wouldn't be fair on a new owner or the dog to have his issues exasperated by being moved yet again and be put in unfamiliar surroundings. Unless somebody very very experienced was to come along I don't think rehoming here is the correct thing to do.

Please also remember that when rescues say they never put a healthy dog down, they count aggression issues and severe behavioral problems as illness, so perhaps it may be kinder to him to have him pts with you rather than put him through the extra stress of kennels, other dogs and being left there while he is assessed.

X

Gen35 · 09/06/2014 18:34

Op, you're doing the right thing and I'm an absolute soppy pants for pets. You've tried all you can, rescues won't take him and dd has to come first. You'll always get 1-2 people on an internet chat room that think they could have done better but every parent I know would do what you're doing. Don't feel bad, you have done your best.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 18:35

ummmgogo, thanks but please don't congratulate me, it really is the last thing I want to do. Leaving him abandoned at a rescue centre would.be the worst thing I could do, he barks at other dogs till he loses his voice, he shakes, he gets extremely stressed, should I subject him to that 24/7 beside other dogs terrified?

OP posts:
Original poster
booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 18:37

sorry that bit about rescue centre was to higgle

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 09/06/2014 18:41

It is never the dog?? Well sometimes it is. Dogs, like people, have different personality. It dounds like the previous owners couldnt control the dog and the op has taken on a difficult dog. Sadly the damage was already done.

I have a dog aggressive dog. I cant let the little fucker off the lead because he kicks off and im worried he will get hurt. Small jrt x. Is it my fault? Not sure. I have trained him. Socialised him. He is fine with most dogs but not all. I am not nervous of him kicking off on lead as I can hoik him out of trouble if he starts. Its all bluster. He gas a small mouth unlikely to cause harm. A big dog would be a different story. Aggression towards human would be a different story. Ive owned and worked wiyh dogs all my life. He is the first fog aggressive dog ive had. Hes not a rescue. Had him from a pup. I can manage him although I cant stop the dog aggression. He has never shown aggression to a person or my other dog. I would struggle with the op's dog.

Timeisawastin · 09/06/2014 18:44

I took a collie from the Dog's Trust. He was an adult with an allegedly sound history from his previous owners. It was all nonsense, he was a scared, reactive and undersocialised dog. He attacked every dog he met, I think at least 3 needed stitches. I ended up walking him in isolated areas and spending all my time on high alert, very stressful. I could have muzzled him and kept him on a lead but I wasn't prepared to do that to a ball-obsessed collie. After 3 years of this he suddenly attacked a regular visitor to my home, bit him in the face which required stitches and knocked a front tooth loose.

The Dog's Trust were informed, they had previously helped us with a couple of behaviour consultations with an expert. They couldn't take him back for a month and I wasn't prepared to let my resolve weaken. I put him to sleep immediately. He was never going to be happy or safe around other dogs and he wasn't safe to be rehomed.

I adored him, he was my constant companion for 3 years and I would have kept him forever, but I live in a family home and we all deserved to have a life too. I am comforted that the last 3 years of his life he was happy, he was loved, walked, run and me, his special person, 24/7. He didn't deserve to have to go through another move.

It's a tough decision, I don't envy you.

LEMmingaround · 09/06/2014 18:46

Where are you op? I would be happy to come for a walk with you and see how we get on. Im in the south east. Todo is right - owner nerves can make things worse. I see it so much with people - Today a guy squirted water at his dog the minute he noticed me with one of mine. Wtf? No wonder his dog is dog aggressive if every time he sees another dog he gets squirted! !

SelectAUserName · 09/06/2014 18:46

higgle It's not just the dog-related fear aggression, he has started showing potentially dangerous behaviours towards the OP's daughter.

todoaboutnothing makes a good point. This is not a healthy dog. He might be fine physically but he is psychologically ill.

Thanks OP.

MoominAndMiniMoom · 09/06/2014 18:46

You're talking out of your arse, bubalou. Our first dog, we had from a puppy, followed all the guides, tried trainers, every method going. He was a lovely dog but couldn't help biting, no-one but my parents and I could touch him.

Finally one day, he snapped and bit me badly; had I been slightly younger (was 14 at the time) I would've lost my finger - a small child or toddler would possibly have lost a hand.

We made the heartbreaking decision to have him PTS, blaming ourselves. It's always the owner, right?

Turns out he had a canine equivalent of PTSD as a result of mistreatment from the breeder, was inbred and had a massive brain tumour causing uncharacteristic aggression. He was miserable, in pain, we could tell from his behaviour that he was so ashamed of snapping, and would only have gotten worse.

So it isn't always the owner's fault. OP, you're doing the right thing. Poor dog probably feels so unhappy with its own behaviour, but you have given it warmth and comfort and a good life for four years, and now you will give him the kindest, most humane death possible. You sound like a wonderful owner - and what we found really comforting after our dog was pts was going in afterwards and cuddling him, stroking him and kissing him and doing everything everyone else does with their dogs, that we longed to do but couldn't because of the aggression. It was so comforting - he just looked like he was sleeping, but we held him and talked to him and in the end he knew he was loved and we made the decision for him.

You are making this decision for him - it is kind and humane and will be a release for him, not a punishment. Thanks

(sorry it's an essay!)

Greyhound · 09/06/2014 18:47

If you can't afford to train him and training would solve his problems, then I firmly suggest you take him to the Dogs Trust where, if possible, he may be rehabilitated.

Please reconsider putting him to sleep - try this option.

Having said that, if he is in danger of injury to humans or other animals and rehabilitation is not realistic, then it is better for him to be put to sleep and I would not judge you at all for that.

Lonecatwithkitten · 09/06/2014 18:47

Last Chance are in Kent however, they will help outside of this area and take 'difficult' dogs, you may have the dog to them. They ave a very good reputation for working successfully with similar dogs.

LEMmingaround · 09/06/2014 18:48

Time - thats so sad but yes. You did the right thing. Hard for you Flowers

Greyhound · 09/06/2014 18:49

Moomin ThanksThanksThanks. So sad but sometimes there is no choice. Had similar sad situation with a dog when I was a child. Still miss him Sad

sunnyspot · 09/06/2014 18:51

I am a volunteer dog walker at an Animal Shelter. The dogs I walk absolutely HATE being locked up and are so grateful to just get half an hour out with me. I feel so guilty when I have to "re cage" them.

Some of them are very difficult to re home, and I honestly believe that being kindly pts is preferable to the mental trauma of being in a cage for the rest of their lives.

OP please don t feel bad you have done all you can.

Gen35 · 09/06/2014 18:51

My niece was bitten and scarred for life as a child. I just think that people offering help need to be willing to take the dog out your home immediately. He's snapping, if my beloved dog did that in a serious way he'd have to be regimes immediately or pts. Working with dogs with serious problems is a luxury of the time and experience rich, not someone with small dc.

Swipe left for the next trending thread