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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

put my dog to sleep?

243 replies

booksandchoc · 09/06/2014 17:34

I am being unreasonable, I feel terrible and I deserve whatever flaming I get.

I've made an appointment to get my little dog put to sleep. I'm tried to rehome him, but all the rescues around here are full, I spoke to the dog warden and he advised in our situation to get him pts.

We got him 4 years ago when he was 2, an elderly acquaintance had him a few months but couldn't cope with him, so we stupidly took him on without knowing his history.

He is aggressive to other dogs, every other dog, he has no recall, he barks constantly whenever we leave him in the house and now he has started snapping at DD. I don't know what else to do Sad.

OP posts:
buggerboooo · 09/06/2014 23:31

I second last chance rescue. They are very good. Do have a look op, they specialise in difficult dogs x

todoaboutnothing · 09/06/2014 23:37

bubalou - in early posts I mentioned I worked in rescue, hence thousands of dogs.
I have also rehabilitated a few myself that the rescue would have destroyed. There is a line that you learn only through experience, between knowing when to carry on and knowing when to stop.

theimposter · 10/06/2014 11:08

I'd rather PTS in this situation if I couldn't find a reputable charity or trainer with specialist behavioural help to take it on. Better that than finding out further down the line that the person you sold it to through Gumtree or whatever has passed it on and the dog has ended up abandoned in a back yard or worse injured someone. I wouldn't keep an aggressive dog around a child. Good luck but don't feel bad if you end up PTS; it's a kinder fate than some endings for a difficult animal and you have done your best to give him a chance from the sound of it.

Harry1603 · 10/06/2014 12:24

LEMmingaround, I didn't realise that. I only know what I've read about Battersea and seen on TV and I have seen them rehabilitated - in the last series of Paul O'Grady they rehomed a horrible snappy Yorkie that no one could go near and I presumed they gave all dogs a chance. I suppose it depends on resources and the situation.

I prefer cats to dogs but I feel so sorry for anyone having to make this decision.

thebodylovesspring · 10/06/2014 12:31

No advice but just wanted to add how difficult this must be for you op. You will make the decision you must. Best if luck to you.

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/06/2014 16:57

What an awful decision to have to make. I thin it is the right one in your circumstances op Flowers

Smokeyrobinson · 10/06/2014 19:44

I really feel for you. Similar situation happened to us - out of the blue our 10 year old dog bit a neighbour and became aggressive towards me. We literally tried everything - rehousing, re-training, medication from vet, neutering.

One day I saw him pin my 3 year old DD against the wall and that was that. I cried buckets and felt horrendous guilt but the vet was fantastic and said he had 3 dogs and if one behaved like this he'd not hesitate to pts.

This was 20 years ago and we've had other marvellous dogs since with no problems but I still feel terrible. IMO you are doing the right thing.

higgle · 11/06/2014 07:39

Well, OP, I don't know if you went through with it. If you have had teh dog for some time as you say and he reamiins dog aggressive ( not a big problem in itself ) and has atarted snapping at your child this really is down to lack of training and behavioural support on your part. If you tried hard enough you would get some support, and I note you didn't post in "doghouse" to try and get this. There seems to be no option for your dog now bbut please don't ever get another.

DogCalledRudis · 11/06/2014 07:54

How awful. First get a dog, then kill him because he became too much of inconvenience. Why rehoming isn't an option? There are plenty of people who would be able to cope. My neighbour just did that. She took a problem dog from a family, because they couldn't cope and the shelters would have destroyed him immediately. Now, 6 months later, he's a changed dog.

Mrsjayy · 11/06/2014 08:05

You know if your dog bit somebody you would be held responsible you are doing the sensible thing noboby wants to have animals pts they do it because they have too, the dog sounds stressed and aggressive you are preventing it attacking something, before you do it have you asked the vet if its physically ill just with snapping its a nee behaviour it might be in pain,

SelectAUserName · 11/06/2014 08:13

DogCalledRudis, that is neither helpful nor fair. Have you actually read the thread?

If it's so easy to rehome and rehabilitate this dog, I suggest you PM the OP for her address so you can collect him and do it yourself.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 11/06/2014 08:55

Sorry I've not came back to this thread.

Appointment is booked for tomorrow, we are trying to enjoy the few days we have left with him.

To the posters who have mentioned rehousing, I couldn't just give him to anyone, it would need to be an experienced dog handler with no other pets and no children, as someone pointed out earlier most of the experienced dog handlers already have dogs.

We have had him for four years so we are not just getting a dog then getting rid of him because he is an 'inconvenience' I have tried really hard with him, but I'm not a dog trainer. If we knew the problems he had when we first got him then we wouldn't have taken him in the first place, BUT he has had 4 years in a loving caring family with me and DH and DD (who is only 2 btw) has started cuddling him and such as well Sad. It has been a really hard decision to make but I can't risk my DD being harmed.

I've ruled out pain causing the snapping because she hasn't touched him when he does snap, it's when we are playing so can only assume it's jealousy.

OP posts:
Original poster
booksandchoc · 11/06/2014 08:57

higgle, I posted once in the doghouse and was flamed so forgive me for not seeking support there. I would be told to get therapy, retraining etc which I don't believe is an option. I was looking for support for myself tbh. and trust me, I will never get a dog again. I know that 100%

OP posts:
Gennz · 11/06/2014 09:04

Books Sad

Ehhn · 11/06/2014 09:12

Op, don't beat yourself up - Just remember - dogs have no concept of how long they have lived for - 2 years or 10 years. What they do know is whether they are happy, fed, warm and loved. Better to have a few years of that good time than many years of kennels, potentially failed retraining, potentially failed fostering or re homing and being shoved from pillar to post. Because to the dog, they don't know when that sort of misery will end. Instead, he's had six good years and pain free, calm exit. I know which I favour.

TravelledByVacuumTube · 11/06/2014 09:23

booksandchoc try to enjoy the last few days with him, and be assured that you are doing the best you can for him amongst a set of pretty dismal choices. As Ehhn says, dogs don't have a concept for this, so a happy life with you and a pain-free end amongst familiar faces is infinitely preferable to a future of stressful kennels and isolation.

(And try and least be a little bit kind to yourself, as well, books.)

Booboostoo · 11/06/2014 09:27

You are doing the right thing OP. It's very hard but it is harder for you than for the dog. Dogs don't have a concept of death or the future, a quick, pain-free death is not a harm for the dog. A miserable life in kennels and being passed on from one unsuitable home to another would be a harm so the responsible thing to do is PTS.

In many cases intensive and experienced training can help problem dogs but you need to find someone with the knowledge and ability to take a problem dog on and given the terrible rescue situation at the moment I don't think there is a chance of that happening. I also think it's fairly naive to think that it's always the owner's fault for causing the problem, such a view need to deny basic physiology and neurobiology. Dogs are as likely as other animals to suffer from tumors, brain disorders, hormonal problems, etc as well as purely behavioural issues.

Gen35 · 11/06/2014 09:30

I don't see what else you can do op. You're doing the right thing, hope it goes as well as possible.

Mrsjayy · 11/06/2014 09:35

Sounds, like the poor dog had a shitty start to life you know you tried everything for him, I am not really in agreement with slogan never put a healthy dog down, animal phsycological issues sometimes ca t b3 fixed I dont think its fair on them

fledermaus · 11/06/2014 09:49

I think people suggesting that this dog should be put in kennels at a rescue for the rest of it's life are being so sentimental they are forgetting about the dog's welfare tbh.

WowOoo · 11/06/2014 09:49

You know your daughter is not going to be at risk of being bitten and possibly scarred for life and scared of dogs for a long time.

You have tried all other avenues. Thanks for you.
With a very young, unpredictable child in the mix I would do the same.
Could you plant something in honour of nervous dog?

catsdogsandbabies · 11/06/2014 09:54

As an experienced vet I would say without question PTS. To all the fluffy sentimental people - you are being idealists. Rescues are full of lovely, friendly dogs, some being put to sleep for lack of homes. A dog like this is likely anxious and unhappy and would take a lot if money and work to sort out. Yes ideally he is re homed to a lovely gamekeeper who trains him etc - sorry get real. You tie him to a gate at a rescue? Then when found he bites someone and is put to sleep anyway! Are you insane! Keeping a dog should be a pleasure for a family, dog and people. If not and other options exhausted then a pain free death is better. I see aggressive, anxious dogs sitting in kennels for years rather than PTS- is that the best for the dog?

D0oinMeCleanin · 11/06/2014 09:58

Why is a behaviourist not an option? Almost all dogs can be rehabilitated with a bit effort. I can't imagine wanting to kill a living animal I'd cared for for four years without even trying a behaviourist beforehand.

Seems to me like you're going for the easy option and looking for sympathy for it too.

fledermaus · 11/06/2014 10:03

She's said she can't afford it D0oin.

D0oinMeCleanin · 11/06/2014 10:08

Over four years she's never been able to save £60?! I find that hard to believe.

Had she been responsible and insured the dog a behaviour consult for this kind of problem would have been covered.