To Have Got Really Annoyed With My Mother Re Foodbanks?

[GoldenGytha]

I have a very difficult relationship with my mother and barely see my parents but was there today with DD2 for their Golden a Wedding, only stayed for about an hour but that was more than enough!

This might kick off, but the conversation turned to supermarkets and Foodbanks, and my mother's pearl of wisdom wad that no one needs a Foodbanks as they should be able to make soups and stews etc, she also said that if they had no money that was their fault for not budgeting properly, and no one actually "needs" a Foodbanks.

I am a single mum on disability benefits and although I've never used a foodbank, I've been pretty close at times. This post would be far too long if I told you everything that was said, but basically I told her there were so many reasons why people use Foodbanks, and it wasn't as simple as just saying "Make a Soup"

She started to lecture me saying they were all tired of me "sticking up for all those people" all the time, and I had no idea what I was talking about.

They're avid readers of the Scottish Daily Mail, and believe every word it says

Shed get on well with my parents. You should hear the crao they come out with.

yanbu by the way

Crap

YANBU but I'm sure you know that

This might kick off, but the conversation turned to supermarkets and Foodbanks

Yes, it might.

YANBU sound just like my dg has no idea about the real world.

Sadly I hear this kind of crap all the time from them, they're very wealthy but have no idea about the real world and how tough it is for some people.

My own situation isn't great but they have zero tolerance or sympathy for anyone

YANBU.

She'd get on well with my dad who doesn't think there have been any cuts yet!

My dad is just as bad with his nasty racist views and his comments during the Paralympics were beyond belief.

I try to talk to them about how horrible their views really are, but I just always get told I'm talking rubbish and "You will respect us, we're your parents!"

I might respect them if they changed their views!

What did poor people do before foodbanks were invented

They went hungry or ended their days in the workhouse windchime .

YANBU, but, you know, you can't fix stupid.

The benefit system didn't sanction people like it does now and there were crisis loans and stuff then to cover when circumstances change and there is No money until things are recalculated. They have gone now, the local authorities have been given a small part of the crisis loan money to help those in need and part of their support might be to refer to foodbanks. But there is no point trying to change the mind of some people.

Mine are like that too. My father grew up in a family that everyone thought was wealthy, but wasn't as my grandfather gambled away all the money, but still they were aristocracy so my grandparents just ended up staying at all their wealthy friends' houses! They also had vast estates with a plentiful supply of veg, animals to slaughter, fish in lakes etc. But to hear my father talk now, you would think that he had been brought up on the breadline! He doesn't understand he is of a particular class and generation and that things today are different.

My mother isn't much better, but slightly more understanding.

They both read the DM too - but still have visions of themselves as liberal hippies lol. If my brother or I try to talk to them, or share our thoughts, we just get the "we're entitled to our opinions" line.

If I ever say that to my children, I have a number of friends who have agreed to shoot me

If I wasn't an only child I'd think we were siblings.

My DF also denies the need for foodbanks, even though we have the example of DH's DB living on benefits, who does struggle to the point where we do Tesco foodshops for him when he is really short.

Oh and when I told him about the very elderly people we saw working in Florida - that was obviously because they enjoyed, not because there is no welfare state there.

It's really hard to listen to such rubbish - particularly when they genuinely believe that their relative wealthiness is due to their frugal lifestyle, rather than primarily being due to having good pensions and enjoying property price rises.

Yanbu.

My area appears wealthy. Beautiful houses. Naice schools. Very high useage of food banks. You cannot tell basically. Lose your job, losing your house can closely follow. No matter your background or education.

I support food banks. I know too many users I never would necessarily think using them. Bless them all.

Hey, she said, "Let them eat stews!"

I know it's awful but you just have to laugh. Like she's imagining some impoverished family saying, "We have this chicken carcass, some barley, carrots, leeks, potatoes, and herbs. Whatever shall we make for dinner?"

Trouble is, there are the rare cases of people who are indeed taking foodbanks, etc for a ride. And that's enough for many people to assume that all the people who need to use foodbanks are also just "swinging it"

I do personally know one chap who is a foodbank regular, precisely because he does indeed spend money on weed. And this chap is making it so much harder for those in genuine need.

golden gytha ..just to say i read scottish daily mail .but i certainly dont mind people getting things in times of need .i was mortified to speak to someone at tesco collecting for food banks i thought jesus are things so bad
..we have a warehouse near us and they bring things to people after being referred .there are people who take advantage ,spend money on things they shouldnt then expect the food bank to help out .i dont approve of that bit .but you can hardly let a child go hungry because of the parents stupidity .

yeah and popping down to the local park to collect sticks because they have no sodding money for gas or electric.

Then you need to have a chat with the people giving him vouchers, FryOne.

I've never encountered a FoodBank at which one can just rock up and get food. You have to be referred by an approved agency who can attest to your situation. So if you get your regular benefit payment and piss it away on drugs, you won't get a voucher.

I volunteer in a food bank. Friday We had a man in who had never had a day of unemployment in his life and was in his late fifties. Some months ago he had his first ever epileptic fit and as he was a crane driver lost his jib. For some months he was in sickness benefit but now has been passed fit. Unfortunately they have not paid him is a and he has exhausted all his savings. He had not eaten for two days when he came to us.

My Mum has repeatedly told me that she doesn't understand why women "let themselves" be domestically abused, they "need to be stronger" apparently. My ex was very abusive towards me and she knows this. We actually have very little relationship and I didn't see her for over a year because of these views.

I found out this week (as I've had contact with several foodbanks through Scout Community Week) that there are people who donate food to foodbanks that has been adulterated with razorblades, designed to injure the recipients. WTAF?

i could have all the money in the world and still remember what its like to be poor

i saw a chap walk into tesco help himself to the stuff in the food bank trolley and wander off no one stopped him he really might have needed it (he looked like he did)

you cant live off food banks you can only use them three times in 6 months before other agencies are called in