To Have Got Really Annoyed With My Mother Re Foodbanks?

[GoldenGytha]

I have a very difficult relationship with my mother and barely see my parents but was there today with DD2 for their Golden a Wedding, only stayed for about an hour but that was more than enough!

This might kick off, but the conversation turned to supermarkets and Foodbanks, and my mother's pearl of wisdom wad that no one needs a Foodbanks as they should be able to make soups and stews etc, she also said that if they had no money that was their fault for not budgeting properly, and no one actually "needs" a Foodbanks.

I am a single mum on disability benefits and although I've never used a foodbank, I've been pretty close at times. This post would be far too long if I told you everything that was said, but basically I told her there were so many reasons why people use Foodbanks, and it wasn't as simple as just saying "Make a Soup"

She started to lecture me saying they were all tired of me "sticking up for all those people" all the time, and I had no idea what I was talking about.

They're avid readers of the Scottish Daily Mail, and believe every word it says

The anti-food-bank arguments remind me of this:

"Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."
"Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons..."
"And the Union workhouses." demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?"
"Both very busy, sir..."
"Those who are badly off must go there."
"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."
"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Golden Gytha my mum is EXACTLY the same and says the same things. So I know how you feel.

Potatoes SNAP when I was a teen I used to hear my dads negotiations on the phone. He was a building site forman and a shop steward. he was always standing up to the boss for himself and the workers. I clearly remember him using the word cobblers a lot just like Bob Crow used to.
Now he comes out with the Norman Tebbit "get on your bike" crap. And goes on about how people aren't looking hard enough.
On the housing estate where I live one of the biulders who used to work with my dad used to live a few doors down. This bloke once said to me " your dad helped me keep my job. hes a good man" I didn't have the heart to tell him how much hes changed.

I would not have my child around such a bigot who couldn't keep his or her mouth shut.

My dad was a shop stweward andwelfare officer the bollocks he comes away with now is unbelievable, , I tune him out

If there wasn't a need for food banks there wouldn't be so many cropping up all the time!

Makes me think of the Hooverville song from Annie:

"In ev'ry pot he said "a chicken"
But Herbert Hoover he forgot
Not only don't we have the chicken
We ain't got the pot"

Let them eat Stew!

In my experience, the ones who seem to begrudge people using foodbanks have a very comfortable lifestyle with absolutely no worries as to how they're going to feed themselves this week, or pay for a new washing machine if theirs breaks down.

I don't get it.

I totally agree with foodbanks but I do agree people should be taught how to cook and prepare meals at school.

Shortly after graduating I was very very poor. Things were tight at home because my father was very ill and my parents were struggling - I couldn't ask them for much support. I was living in Bath - expensive - and had a crappy poorly paid retail job that couldn't keep up with my overdraft and credit card debt.

I was fortunate in that if I'd ever really been in a mess and couldn't eat - and I came close on many occasions - I had friends and other family I could have turned to bail me out. I would never have needed a foodbank, but totally understand how people do. I lived off dented reduced tins from Sainsburys, bruised sell-by-date fruit and Value vegetables for a long time. It was only when I started to teach myself cooking (check out Delia's Frugal Cookbook!) that I realised I could eat well, really well, on very little.

I'm 26 and did food technology throughout school. I even have a GCSE in the bloody subject, because we had to take a tech subject. I learnt how pizza boxes were made, the cook-chill chain and how chocolates are enrobed. Did I learn how to roast a chicken? How to dice onions? How to bake bread or grill meats? No. All things that would have really helped me in later life.

I think foodbanks are necessary and will continue to be so if things carry on the way they are - but Home Economics like my older brother learnt, where they prepared a dish every lesson (and also learnt how to clean an oven properly, defrost a freezer and iron a shirt) would prepare people to look after themselves, and they nutritional health more.

*their nutritional health more (!)

Mrs Jay I wonder what the fuck it is that has changed them so much

Preciousbane Tue 10-Jun-14 09:22:46

Do you know what I really can't get my head round is that foodbanks are charities so people can choose to donate money, goods or volunteer. So how can anyone be offended by them

Precious I have a nasty feeling its as simple as "wah wah someone is getting something that im not Wah wah"

Darkeyes, wish I could give you 1000 thumbs up for that last comment.

My DDs are nearly 23 and 21 and are well aware of the racist bigoted idiots their grandparents are, they also have as little to do with them as possible, and have had many an argument with them about how they treat me.

With their support, and also having long term therapy I'm very close now to cutting all contact. It' s taken many years for me to get to this, and I' m nearly there now.

Darkest eyes, You have got it in one there!

back at ya ladies.

Im glad you are close to closure Golden. They sound like amazing DC .

Good for you Golden and it sounds like you've raised two fine kids to be proud of as well.

Your posts have made me realise how lucky I am with my parents. They've been through some utter shit in life that wasn't of their making and realise that it can happen to anybody. When they were earning high salaries in London and both being headhunted and moving up with their careers, they would never have predicted that in 10 years time their current business would go under and they'd be struggling to feed me and my brother while watching the bailiffs walk off with the contents of our home.

My mum can be hard work, but even she would never fault a person for falling on hard times. Now my aunt and gran on the other hand... Best not go there! They're definitely in the "let them eat stew!" camp, and really do live on a different fecking planet to most of us.

I've been working since I was a kid (off the books weekend and holiday work) and still found myself homeless for a few weeks in Jan/Feb this year. Illness and job losses can happen to us all and savings vanish frighteningly fast. I consider myself pretty frugal and careful with cash, but still wound up sleeping in an industrial unit. You can't cook a stew without a cooker :P I hate that food banks are necessary, I'd rather people received fair benefits, but they are necessary so I will continue to put the odd tin in, because I know how lucky I am to be able to afford the odd tin of soup or veg in the first place.