Important bits:
DS is not his, though we've been together for 1 1/2yrs and since DS was 1 1/2 (he's now 3 and a bit).
I'm 25 he's 29. I live alone with DS and he lives with his parents (had a shit job for most of his twenties and just never 'got it together').
DP/BF says lots of (what I feel are) sweet nothings about us being a family and DS being like his own etc etc. He wants us to move in together, would love to be a dad in the next 5ish years...
I know what I signed up for with DS. I've been a lone parent since pregnancy. But I find myself feeling really resentful that DP/BF plays sport two nights a week and one weekend-day then often has a guys night too. I can't really arrange to go out at myself unless it's far in advance (and it's not really about that tbh). I just feel so acutely aware of 'being' a single parent when he's off doing his stuff. It never used to bother me when I was single.
It also goes against a lot of the stuff he says about us being a family etc. If we're likely to have a bad night he stays home. I have a cervical infection from treatment last week and DS is ill so he just popped in briefly (and fell asleep on the sofa for 2hrs) before going home to get an early one. He doesn't deal with the bad behaviour or do the other boring parent stuff. Or anything remotely resembling housework, despite staying here a lot. Just plays with him. So I find it hard not to roll my eyes when he says he feels like DS's parent 
He is nice generally. He does love me/DS. But I certainly wouldn't want a child with him (too high a risk of ending up a single mum of two) and wonder if being nice isn't enough if you resent them? It's not healthy is it? I can't really help feeling that way, other than making sure I keep seeing my own friends/doing my own thing within my limits.
I just feel so crap about it this last month or so.
AIBU?
to resent BF for his ability to bugger off and sleep/do hobbies/see friends when I'm stuck at home with DS?
LuckyLannister · 08/06/2014 21:06
very true.
I feel so much better physically. It's as if my gut feeling was a literal gut feeling. If your gut could scream at you to get out, bad IBS is what it would feel like 
He dropped some of my stuff off through the letterbox, with a long, sad letter. For the love of god.
Some choice excerpts:
'Until two weeks ago we were happy' - No, you were happy. I'd been unhappy for ages and my health was starting to suffer
'I haven't done this to pull on heart strings' - You have
*
And it's 'addressed' to me and DS (he talks about missing him a lot too).
I guess you can't block people from your life entirely!
But this is what happened last time. And look where that got me.
I hate not replying/ignoring people, especially when they're hurt but I think it'll do us both a favour if I don't tbh.
Oh I'm still sure of my decision.
It just hurt to read. And again, if he wasn't as selfish/didn't just think about himself he'd have respected that I said I needed a no-contact break up because it's so stressful otherwise (he did agree)
It's all about how he feels and how wrong it is for him.
Just makes me sad and angry tbh.
Thanks 
It's ridiculous how soppy the letter is considering the things he said to me when I broke up with him!
I know from experience with him that it won't last. We'll be back to 'normal' with me doing the bulk of the shitty-gritty stuff in no time.
I have.
I just said I told you that was it and meant it. Please don't contact me again. I won't reply.
I don't think he'll carry on after that, or at least if he does I'll be ignoring it. I didn't anticipate how determined he would be tbh
Nevermind!
He's certainly braver than most
I would've given up at the 'dumping point'.
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