Need advice. Unable to continue living at home.

[ConfusedTeen]

I'm 17 years old. I came here because I saw this website advertised on this morning one time and thought you guys might be able to help me since I have no one...

Basically what's up is that I'm unable to live at home. My parents split when I was young and me sister and I lived with out mum. She met someone, got remarried and had kids with him, they eventually split up and my mum took it very hard. She turned to drink and drugs and social services became involved. My brother and sister got taken into foster care and that just made things worse.

My sister and I often get into horrible fights with my mum with them sometimes getting physical. She threw us both out and we haven't seen her for about 5 days, we've been staying with friends.

We can't live with my dad as he has no room for us, and my mums sister has offered to take us in but she really can't afford it and I'd feel bad. I spoke to the family social worker and she said basically the only way to sort it is to go homeless and live in a hostel.

This makes me nervous. I'm only 17 years old and my sister is 16. She's still in school where as I literally just graduated yesterday. So with no source of income I am totally scared on what to do next.

Anyone have some advice?

I'd go to your aunt even if just in the short term while you make your plans. Good luck

Another idea - I don't know abut ages for this etc.

Kinship carers should get financial support, you aunt might be entitled to that if you live with her.

You can phone citizens advice Scotland to get advice,numberis here, it would do no harmtoask? Number is free and on this page

www.scotland.gov.uk/Topics/People/Young-People/protecting/lac/kinship.

Hello, there is a lot of help and support available including an excellent Quarriers project www.quarriers.org.uk/what-we-do/all-services/north-ayrshire-supported-accommodation/.

In the first instance you need to contact North Ayrshire's Homelessness service www.north-ayrshire.gov.uk/resident/housing/homelessness-support.aspx.

Or phone Community Housing Advocacy Project on 01294 475636
www.chap-at-the -door.org.uk

RhondaJean - thank you so much, I've took a photo of the numbers, I'll defo phone them tomorrow.

Could you stay with your aunt for a bit at least? Don't feel bad about her not being able to cope/afford it, SS may be able to help there too.
Good luck, that sounds really tough and you are doing everything just right for you and your sister

I'm not so much worried about me, it's my sister. She gets led astray easily. I mean I love her, but she's far too trusting she takes people at face-value all the time :/

That is why it is a good idea to go there. I am sure that your Aunt will make sure that both you and your sister are ok.

Good luck.

I get the feeling you will be just fine in the long run.

Thank you all so much, I'm really grateful for all your help.

Hi there. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I see you've already had some great advice. I just wanted to add that I lived in a hostel for 6 months when I was 19. Granted a bit older than you, but I was terrified nonetheless.

It was so much better than what I thought it would be. Don't forget no one ever spreads the nice stories, only the horror stories! Most people get on absolutely fine in a hostel- i enjoyed my time there in a way. I'm sure that if you do have to go to a hostel everything will be fine.

I wish you the best. You sound like you have your head screwed on, and your sister is lucky to have you.

Hang on, aren't you due to start Uni in September?

Just checking your not giving up your plans for your sister?

LaurieFairyCake - yes, I'm staring Uni in sept. Giving up my place wouldn't do either of us any good. I just need plans for just now.

Oh good

And well done

Could you consider a live in hotel job for the summer? www.gumtree.com/hotel-jobs/scotland/hotel+live+in+jobs

Timeandtune - that wouldn't be bad but unfortunately those are all too far away :( I'll keep an eye out tho!

I think being 'far away" might not be a bad idea !

Don't worry too much about going into hostel accommodation. I live in Glasgow and I was in a homeless hostel at the age of 16. It wasn't that bad and I wasn't there for long before they got me a temporary furnished flat. I got a permanent place at the age of 17.
If you do get a bad hostel just keep to yourself and you'll be fine. Most people there will be in the same situation as you and will probably be just as nervous. The staff are always there to give you support or if you just need someone to talk to. There's usually a lock on the bedroom door and a shared kitchen.
I'm not sure how the housing benefit situation works now but I was at college full time and I had to leave as they wouldn't pay out if i was in full time education. My social worker also advised at the time to make sure that I failed every job interview I was sent for as I was in expensive temporary accommodation and housing benefit wouldn't cover the furniture charge.
That's something you can ask your social worker about but hopefully it's changed now. Good luck whatever you decide to do x

One way of avoiding the hostels if you really didn't want to go down that road would be enrol in college and go to your aunts.

If you are in college your aunt can claim child benefit for you and any associated income related benefits to help her look after you.

She does not need consent from your mum to claim anything she just needs to apply the child benefit dept will look into it as your mum is still claiming but as long as your aunt can say you are living there and you are happy to also confirm it then they will pay it to her

Glad you came here for advice as it looks as if you've had some good support.
Just to say good luck to you both for the summer and glad to see you're starting Uni in September. Well done for getting that place, I'm sure those plans will help you as there's quite a bit of support available through colleges. For now I'd think about staying with your Aunt as first choice, with a good hostel being the next best option.
Agree with PP who said you've got a good head on you!

Best of luck. I made myself homeless - fleeing family abuse - when I was just turned 18 and still at school and found there was no support available and I had to sofa surf. No practical advice as my experience was 20 years ago, but sending understanding hugs your way. Xx

Have you considered Women's Aid if it exists in Scotland? You are fleeing an abusive relationship and are responsible for your younger sister. It may be worth looking into unless others on here know better.

Ask your dad if he could pay for a beds it for you and dsis or a flat? Ask about the child benefit to be moved from you mum to your dad - he has no room but could he not turn the living room into a bedroom for you and dsis ?

Or could your dad and child benefit provide some cash to your aunt?

We've looked at all the possible solutions before regarding benefits. There was a time last year when I was left to totally fend for myself and we were told that as long as I had my own place, I could recieved my own benefit. I've also recently been told that there would be no point whatsoever in claiming my own benefit now as I turn 18 in August, and my sister is still unsure if she's staying in school.

My dad is pretty much non existent, and his wife watches every penny. I'll speak to him about it but it's highly unlikely he'll give us any money.

Oh and forgot, I did try to apply for my own house, but when the housing authority asked if my mum had there's me out she said no, later saying to me: "I'm willing to put up with your sh*" I mean seriously? It's just so they can't take her money away!!!