Need advice. Unable to continue living at home.

[ConfusedTeen]

I'm 17 years old. I came here because I saw this website advertised on this morning one time and thought you guys might be able to help me since I have no one...

Basically what's up is that I'm unable to live at home. My parents split when I was young and me sister and I lived with out mum. She met someone, got remarried and had kids with him, they eventually split up and my mum took it very hard. She turned to drink and drugs and social services became involved. My brother and sister got taken into foster care and that just made things worse.

My sister and I often get into horrible fights with my mum with them sometimes getting physical. She threw us both out and we haven't seen her for about 5 days, we've been staying with friends.

We can't live with my dad as he has no room for us, and my mums sister has offered to take us in but she really can't afford it and I'd feel bad. I spoke to the family social worker and she said basically the only way to sort it is to go homeless and live in a hostel.

This makes me nervous. I'm only 17 years old and my sister is 16. She's still in school where as I literally just graduated yesterday. So with no source of income I am totally scared on what to do next.

Anyone have some advice?

Hi confused just popping in to see how you are doing today.

I see you have lots of advice for places to go...

Have you tracked your sister down?

One of my son's friends came to live with us very temporarily when she was 17, she was later found a room in a house with an 'approved' landlady. I don't think her social worker adhered to the regulations around homeless 17 year olds - I think this was more or less a private arrangement.

RhondaJean - yes I'm fine today. Didn't get social worker as she was off, left a message for her to phone me back. Once I've spoke to her I'll think about doing all the other things. I tracked my sister down, she was staying with a friend. We're at our aunts, she insisted...

mimi wtf the solution to youth homelessness isn't putting them all in the military??

No, no not suggesting that as a solution at all. Often it's going from one abusive system to another. Just mentioning that it's how my great-grandfather who was chucked out at 13 got himself established. Without that land grant and veteran's benefits, he would have faced a much harder situation. It's very sad that it was his only option back then. The military can be a good option for getting further education for those without family support though - at least it used to be - they would fund degrees etc and pay a wage at the same time.

I know someone who was kicked out at 15 as her mum did not want to believe that the stepdad had been recording my friend and her sister in the bathroom.

She did very well, she worked hard part time in a shop whilst doing her GCSEs and A levels (she was in a house share from 17). I hired her at 18 to be my admin assistant without the relevant qualificntions purely because of her drive and hard working attitude. She now has a successful career in marketing, earns oodles more than me and is married.

I can't offer you any practical help but I just wanted to say that things will get better, it takes a lot of effort though. Please do all you can to get to uni, even if you have to defer for a year until your sister is older.

Wishing you all the best.

Hi guys, just thought I'd let you all know I finally got a hold of my social worker. She's got me an appointment with Housing on Friday, in the meantime I got some money off my mum and given it to my aunt.

Hi there.

I'm not sure what you'll get in terms of accommodation but flats can easily come totally unfurnished.

I'm in Glasgow and volunteer/fundraiser with a charity providing furniture/kitchen equipment/electricals/carpets etc to people in their first tenancy.

It's usually just glasgow but in your situation I know we'd be happy to help and deliver what you need.

The stuff is mainly second hand but good quality, electricals all tested etc and most carpets are new ends from warehouses.

If I can help please pm me and we can organise something.

Where are you planning on going to Uni?

weegiemum - it's UWS in Ayr.
And that would be fantastic! I'll give you a pm once I know more about what's happening. My social worker also said she'll contact barnardos. Thank you so much.

UWS may also be able to help, just call student services to ask.

It's a beautiful campus confused I thought it might be there.

I might be studying there come October as well - went for an interview for a phd studentship last week, should hear in about a month.

The old campus had student accomodation but I don't knowif it's gone now.

RhondaJean - good luck! I'm sure you'll get it :)

Glad you're at your Aunt's Confused
This is such an inspiring thread with everyone offering their support and as it shows your strength in every post - I can see you being like the girl that liquidstate gave a break to as her admin assistant, and who has gone on to great things - and more importantly to happier times

I've got no advice but good luck.

The new campus has lovely student accommodation on site and a 10min walk from town. They are also used a summer lets on occasion so worth looking into.

pole bridging
schemas

confused Time and Tue mentioned live-in hotel jobs, there are other types of live in work too, if you google "seasonal work" you'll probably find something near you. I did that for a few years as I couldn't stay with my parents (horrific depression, no jobs, bad area, etc) and always found work within a couple of weeks of leaving one.

Glad to see that you are at your Aunts :)

Crayola Can you postpone your apprenticeship and get a live-in job? You could save up enough to finish your apprenticeship in a year or two, they usually are okay to postpone for up to 3 years I think it is? It is not worth staying in a destructive place, it really isn't.

Sorry, I managed to copy and paste two of my notes from my childcare assessment today onto the top I only noticed when I just went to find them a moment ago

Good gracious Confusedteen you are totally amazing and great big massively huge congratulations on going to uni in September! What an inspiring thread this is and I'm so pleased you've managed to get some useful advice. If it is any help whatsoever, I worked in holiday parks over my university summers and they usually need live in staff over the summer peak season. It was Bourne Leisure (Haven holidays and Butlins oweners) and they pretty much let me pick the start and leaving dates and put me in shared accomodation. It was a caravan but not too bad!

With your university, be really clear with them what your situation is. In my university/college experiences I have found there is help available if you go and ask for it in most cases. The more you keep your tutors informed of the situation the more they will be able to help you.

So much luck for September, you will do amazingly and having a degree will open up so many doors for you. Your sister is very lucky to have you to look up to. Much love and hugs! xxx

Pixie
Thats a good idea! But, I'd rather do it now, I'm six months into it and I only have another 6 months left, I'm gonna wait :)