Need advice. Unable to continue living at home.

[ConfusedTeen]

I'm 17 years old. I came here because I saw this website advertised on this morning one time and thought you guys might be able to help me since I have no one...

Basically what's up is that I'm unable to live at home. My parents split when I was young and me sister and I lived with out mum. She met someone, got remarried and had kids with him, they eventually split up and my mum took it very hard. She turned to drink and drugs and social services became involved. My brother and sister got taken into foster care and that just made things worse.

My sister and I often get into horrible fights with my mum with them sometimes getting physical. She threw us both out and we haven't seen her for about 5 days, we've been staying with friends.

We can't live with my dad as he has no room for us, and my mums sister has offered to take us in but she really can't afford it and I'd feel bad. I spoke to the family social worker and she said basically the only way to sort it is to go homeless and live in a hostel.

This makes me nervous. I'm only 17 years old and my sister is 16. She's still in school where as I literally just graduated yesterday. So with no source of income I am totally scared on what to do next.

Anyone have some advice?

can your pastoral team at school help you with this? they have a duty of care.

wishing you strength and good luck

I have no real advice to offer but I just wanted to wish you good luck. You sound like a lovely caring person and shouldn't have to put up with this.

Can the posters here have an adoption circle? You and your sister could stay with each of us for a week each.

phantomnamechanger - I've left, they supported me whilst I was there but now they can't. My sister isn't in school enough to recieved any help...

Pipbin - LOL! Thanks so much x

Can't do an adoption circle but I work in a Scottish housing charity and would be happy to try and offer you some help.
Please feel free to PM me .

I was put in a girls hostel as a teen and claimed hardship allowance. You need to present yourself as homeless to the housing office. My social worker sorted my placement out

I would love to be part of an adoption circle if only we could do it

What are you going to study at uni?

If ss place your sister with your aunt, get her to demand ask for a kinship Carers allowance. Family Rights Group should be able to give her advice too. Hope this situation straightens itself out for you x

Sorry this has happened to you . My great-grandfather had a somewhat similar situation where he was forced to leave the family home at 13 because his new step-mother didn't want him around (his mother had died). My great-grandfather said what saved him was throwing himself into any work he could find, he also joined the military at a young age and was sent to Ypres. His actions there(took out a machine gun position) won him some medals but, more importantly, a land grant of a large parcel of land which was enough to raise his large family on. He and his aons worked as builders and became quite well off. So many didn't come back though so not so sure if joining military is a good option - especially as they're reluctant to do as much for returnees these days.

The child benefit route works until you are 19 if you are in full time education.

It could give you and your sister some breathing space and more time to use support services

RhondaJean - I'm doing a media course at Uni.

YellowStripe - ok, I'm going to see the social worker today, I'll ask her about a kinship allowance.

Hi Confused Teen. I'm not much older than you. I also cannot continue to live at home either. I earn less than £500 a month as an apprentice. I Live at home with my parents who constantly argue. All the time. None stop. I can't take it anymore. I can't have a laugh with them, spend all my time in my room wanting to cry my eyes out because they won't shut up. Every time I say something, they say "why is everything that comes out of your mouth utter shite?" and always go on about how I am "too thin" and "I should wear makeup and look after myself" even though I do wear it, just not all the time, and I do look after myself. They think I don't. They constantly mention how I look, what I eat, when I eat, how much money I have, the fact I don't text them. I am over 18. I have no privacy. I am an adult still being treated as a child. I clean up after myself, I earn my own money, I get my things, makeup, hair things, my lingerie and ahem toys ahem found and I get laughed at for it.
Then there's my boyfriends house, there 4 nights a week. Weekends and during the week. There, I can have a laugh. I can say what I want, express myself, and no one tells me what I am saying is shite (unless, it really is. Then we have a laugh about it!) No one says anything about the way I look, dress, eat, sleep, anything. It's lovely there. But again, no privacy, no room for me to move in. No good wage for me to support myself and my partner on. He will be going in the army soon, so there's no point in moving out yet.
Until he gets out of basic, I cannot go anywhere. I have to suck it up. I can't afford to live by myself, but I cannot live at home where I am depressed. When I was 14 I used to listen to them shout and tell myself that I am worthless and became suicidal because the arguments were about me, and how bad I was at school, how I'm going off the rails, they did nothing to help me and how depressed I was. They never knew what to say or do. I can say things at my boyfriends house that I can't say at my own house because I will get shouted at. I feel very trapped in my house. It's not my home, it's just a house I live in where I have a bed. I have been ready to move out since I was 14, now, years later, I still can't afford it and it's getting me down. Way, way down. I daren't even go to the council because I don't want to be called an idiot for moving out so young.
I really do wish you the best of luck. I have to suck it up for now and be miserable. I don't wish that on you. x
x

i get my things taken off me that should say.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla - damn, what a situation your in too. It's tough when you have parents that don't really give a shit about you:/ maybe you should read some of these comments? Maybe you too could consider a hostel?

OP you need support for the services required to support you - do not be fobbed off by SS - if need be take your sister and yourself to a police station and refuse to move until you have a safe place to go to - SS will HAVE to act then

I have had to do this myself with my clients - they seem reluctant to help anyone 16+ but they are still legally obliged to

OR your sister can speak to the safeguarding lead at her school and tell them she is homeless with no money xxx

good luck xxxxx

ConfusedTeen - hope your meeting is/was productive.

The police station route is a very good one as it creates a emergency situation that they have to respond to.

Casual visits are very easy to fob off even if they have a duty of care

YellowStripe - my social worker is off today how convenient! I've left a message for her to call me back.

mimishimmi how on earth is that relevant to the OP?

confused I wouldn't ever consider one personally, I'd rather wait to Private Rent. Or council, or even wait for my partner to come out of basic training. Patience for me is number one. The grass is greener!

Hello confused, I am in Ayrshire too. What uni are you going to? Students services could help discuss accommodation options.
I don't know if you are remotely religious but st Mary's on west road have a lovely st Vincent de Paul committee that help in times of hardship. Call 272852.

Also call Brian Donahue mp team for help on
313463

Good luck

Hi

Try to get yourself (and your sister) an advocate who can help you find out what you're entitled to, and speak to agencies on your behalf to help you find a solution to your very difficult situation.

Who cares? are a service for young people up to age 25 who have been in care:
www.whocaresscotland.org/our-advocacy-services/

It would also be contacting Barnardos - it's not clear if this project is running but I am sure they would put you in touch with someone else relevant if not.

BARNARDO'S CHILDREN'S RIGHTS AND ADVOCACY SERVICE
John Pollock Centre, Mainholm Road, Ayr, KA8 0QD
Tel: 01292 294309

Independent advocates provide free advice, support and representation to young people who need it.

Hi OP, I became homeless at 17. It was a few years ago now but the system is basically the same. You have to be declared homeless which means getting your mum to agree to make you homeless - sounds odd but you need to be officially homeless before the council can help you. Under 18s have to be housed by the council as they have a duty of care over you. You will get housing benefit, and if in full-time education you will get Income Support - it's basically jobseekers allowance but you get it every week and you don't have to sign on. It's hard but you can do it! Also you'll be at the top of or near the top of the waiting list for a council flat so while you may have to be in a hostel or B&B for a bit, hopefully it won't be too long before you get a place of your own. Best of luck OP and feel free to PM me if you need any help.

mimi wtf the solution to youth homelessness isn't putting them all in the military??

I agree about presenting yourself as homeless. The other possibility is to pop in and see student services at your uni even though you are not there yet.