To resent DH for having a lie-in AND a nap...

[sadsaddersaddest]

When I am hallucinating with sleep deprivation?

He woke up at 10 this morning. By that time I had given our 3 DCs breakfast, got the youngest two dressed and brushed their teeth, emptied the dishwasher, done two loads of washing.
Now he is sleeping on the sofa.
I have had two naps since DC3 was born 19 months ago, and that was when we were staying with his family.

If I say anything he will tell me that he had a "bad night".
Well I have bad nights every night because DC3 still wakes up 3 or 4 times, and I have to cope. I don't choose to stay up watching TV until 3 AM.

Sorry about the rant - I have no one to talk to in RL.

YAnbu

There are many days where I could post similar.

Just tell him what you put in your OP.

Tell you are having a nap. Don't wait for him to offer, as that's not going to happen.

Well you know YANBU.

I thought you would say that you are exclusively BF a newborn, there's no easy solution to that.

You need to spell out what he should/needs to do.

I know IANBU, but it feels good to hear it from other people.
Thank you.

Why do you have to put up with DC waking in the night? Just tell him to wake up and deal with it as you are too tired.

Seriously, I used to be like you and resent everything without ever putting my foot down. Don't give him an option to get away with sleep ins and naps all the time.

When he gets up, just go straight to bed. That's what I would do! (Or wake him if he's ages)

Roseberry DC3 is still breastfed and it is much easier for me to deal with it.
I know I am resentful, but things are not good between us ATM and we don't communicate. He thinks I am lazy and selfish.

Amazing how people see their own faults in other people, isn't it?

When I wanted to scale back on the night time BF, it was my DH that took over, even though he worked long hours.

It didn't take that long.

However, you shouldn't verbally abuse partner, or cop out if parenting just because things aren't right between you.

That's the whole issue, really.

You're lazy and selfish, and he's the one who had a long lie AND is having a nod now?!

Show him this thread - after you've accidentally woken him up...

My goodness op he sounds wonderful . Lazy and selfish, what a tool. Go for a nap and tell h he is looking after 3 dcs

Wake him up now and tell him to look after his kids.

My husband is like this, he works but I have to wake him to help with the kids if he's home and he falls asleep on the sofa, i don't work now but I don't see how its fair that I need to be up at 7am 7 days a week, fix breakfast, Pack lunches etc and he won't get up unless I'm up 1st, he stays up late too says he can't sleep

'He thinks I am lazy and selfish.'

He is taking the piss out of you

Selfish pig.

Hope you manage to get some rest/sleep soon.

Why is this even happening? Go and wake him up and go to bed.

Let the kids jump on his head.

He's the lazy one.

Throw a bucket of water over him.

He is up now, but it is too late for me to have a nap. If I nap now, I will not be able to sleep tonight.
I am a SAHM. I don't mind doing the housework and childcare when he has a long day at work, but he hasn't worked for 4 weeks (he is self-employed).
He will probably take the kids out for an hour later so that I can catch up on housework. Then not understand why I am not more grateful.

Say you were so deprived you weren't thinking straight.
Seriously, thought this is not on. What does he say when you discuss this with him

He sounds like an arse. Tell him you need a rest and that he's being bloody lazy.

If he thinks you're lazy go out and leave him with three kids for a bit and see how he gets on.

He thinks I am lazy and selfish. Really? What a prize catch.

If I were you, I'd just tell him that you are in danger of hurting yourself or his children due to severe sleep deprivation and that you are going to bed for the next 6 hours. And go to bed.

If he tried to sabotage your sleep in any way, leave the children and go out for some sleep.

I realise that bfing is very important, but since DC3 is now 19 months old, have you considered mixed feeding so that you can send DH to deal with some of the night feedings?

Ultimately though, your DH sounds like a lazy, selfish arse with a huge sense of entitlement and zero respect for either you or the job you are doing raising his children (with minimal input from him). I would say that a lack of sleep is the least of your worries and you should be very seriously considering your long-term options. You say things are not good between you, and I can certainly see why.