To resent DH for having a lie-in AND a nap...

[sadsaddersaddest]

When I am hallucinating with sleep deprivation?

He woke up at 10 this morning. By that time I had given our 3 DCs breakfast, got the youngest two dressed and brushed their teeth, emptied the dishwasher, done two loads of washing.
Now he is sleeping on the sofa.
I have had two naps since DC3 was born 19 months ago, and that was when we were staying with his family.

If I say anything he will tell me that he had a "bad night".
Well I have bad nights every night because DC3 still wakes up 3 or 4 times, and I have to cope. I don't choose to stay up watching TV until 3 AM.

Sorry about the rant - I have no one to talk to in RL.

OP - leaving can be very hard but it can be done. I think one of the strongest weapons these men have is that they ground down the woman so much that they believe the woman will never have the strength to leave them - it's a complete owner game.

Just over a year ago I went to see my sister and out of nowhere she announced she was leaving her partner of 10 years. They had two children together, one aged 5 and the other aged 7. I was absolutely Gobsmacked. I asked her why and the stories she came out with, it was just horrendous. I had no idea that a man could be such a bastard. He was emotionally and financially abusing her and also treating his children horrendously. He wasn't exactly loved by our family but I had never, ever thought he could have stooped to do the things he had done and it had been going on for a long, long time. I asked my sister why she hadn't spoken to me about it before and she said she had been embarrassed to admit what she was putting up with. She knew how she was being treated wasn't right but she was ashamed to voice it to other people it. She told me on a
Wednesday and on Friday, without pre-warning him, she just walked out and her and the children came to stay with me.

She had a hard year trying to sort herself out, she was in financial difficulties because of her ex but she is so, so much happier now and so are the children. It was also a huge upheaval for them as they both had to change schools but they coped. I think to some degree my sister had also stayed with the ex as she thought it was the best for the children but they have completely blossomed since they were taken out of the horrendous living situation they were in. Despite what a lot of people believe, staying with bastards for the sake of the children usually turns out to be a huge mistake.

Please don't feel that you have to live like this. Just choose one person you trust and tell them what is going on. It may be hard to voice it, but you have to make yourself do it. When my sister told me all I wanted to do was help her and she went from feeling like nobody would believe her to being free of the bastard 2 days later.

Everyone will believe you and everyone will want to do anything they can to get you out of this situation.

Telling someone is the first step even if this 'someone' is a voice on the other end of the phone (Women's Aid). It will be scary taking this step but what is your other option? Live like this forever?

I believe you.

I believe you too sadsaddersaddest. We all do. I second above the advice to give Women's Aid a call.

I also believe you