to wonder WHAT exactly it is about a breastfeeding mother that some find offensive?

[MistressDeeCee]

www.itv.com/news/london/2014-06-06/breastfeeding-mother-in-tears-over-barrage-of-verbal-abuse/

But I don't think all men "think of breasts in a highly sexual way". DH has told me of an occasion when he was chatting to a friend at kids' parties and only become aware part way through the conversation that she was breastfeeding her baby - I think because the presence of the baby renders the breast a non-sexual part of the body.

Sparklingbrook don't feel you need to justify your decisions. m fully aware that not all mums ff through choice.

I have a lot of admiration for women who make an INFORMED decision to ff from the start. That takes a lot of balls imo. I feel so sorry for the mums who want to bf but receive no support or encouragement to do so for various reasons - the main one being society's view that bfing is icky/unnecessary & the pressure to introduce formula/granny, etc wanting to feed baby, etc...

Oh easy peasy.

Most UK babies over a few weeks old are fully bottlefed. This has been the case for years and years, and it's made breastfeeding almost invisible as a normal parenting practice for all except the mums of very tiny babies. So people aren't used to it and are discomfited by it.

I think the vast majority of people have no issue with it. The ones that do aren't worth worrying about as they probably have weird ideas about all sorts of stuff.

Not sure why the lady in Costa felt the need to run to the papers about it though.

Come to think of it the only people I've heard comment negatively on bf in public are older women.
My gran used to leave the room when I was bf DC which made me feel a bit rubbish like I should have been hiding away.

It's perfectly logical that people who feel that breastfeeding is really important for health and quality of life will feel sad about some babies not being breastfed. That doesn't mean you don't appreciate that breastfeeding is emotionally of physically impossible for some women.

Older women may have been deprived of the experience of breastfeeding by shit advice and care. It must make some of them feel (at some level, not necessarily conscious) like they've missed out on the feeling of closeness, pride and self sufficiency that many breastfeeding mums experience. Some of these older women may be quite bitter.

Maybe you should say something to them missy then they could tell you all about trying really hard to BF and being very upset that ultimately they couldn't. Or that the baby is adopted? No need to be sad or upset at all.

I didn't breastfeed because I didn't like it, and I'm not going to justify it or act apologetic for my choice. Just like I don't expect breastfeeding mothers to feel like they have to justify it or feel guilty about breastfeeding in public.

If someone went up to ask me, I'd tell them because I chose to bottle feed and leave it at that.

I've had a couple of older women (70+) come up to me and say "isn't that lovely" while I was feeding

Maybe some of the women who get up in arms about it are worried about their partners looking at the woman in question?

I was projecting a bit PBC. I had six weeks of misery. So I would have loved to have told them all about it in great detail.

I remember when I was a teenager a male relative passing comment on breastfeeding that "the mothers enjoy it" said in a sleazy way that made it clear he thought the mothers got a thrill from the baby feeding.

Anyone who gets all het about about something that doesn't remotely affect them, IMO, has serious 'ishooz'.

That's everyone on MN Please, especially AIBU.

I knew I would get flamed for my opinion. Let me just say this, I have absolutely no issue with breast feeding in public HOWEVER it goes without saying, from experience that some women have become unnecessarily militant about it. I would just like to point out that it was not the breastfeeding woman I was uncomfortable with, but rather that she decided to not feed the baby immediately, instead she sit there talking with her tits out for a good couple of minutes prior! Why?! I don't have children myself yet, so maybe my opinion will change.

Nothing wrong with a bit of banter

I bf daughter to 3.5 years. In a wide variety of places.

I got comments only once from a coven of old women in a pub. My wonderful, wonderful father went over to them and proceeded to educate them - perfectly politely - as to why their views were offensive and outdated. He'd understood how important it was to me to bf and had been reading up on it so he could be supportive. I may have blubbed a bit.

I think a lot of older women who bottle-fed their babies feel an implied criticism when they see younger women breast-feeding. Just like people who were hit as children sometimes begrudge present-day children to right to go untouched.

My mother would be someone sat there with a cats bum mouth, clutching her pearls if there was a woman BF.

When I was pg with DS1 she kept saying to me "you're not going to do that BF thing are you? It's not natural!" .

Fortunately we live miles away so I didn't get badgered about it when I was BF. I fed him for 6 months, but when I saw my parents I took expressed milk because it was easier than listen to her harp on!

With DS2 I fed him for a year. He's 17.5 and to this day, she knows he was BF for a bit but not for how long because she would have flipped and go on and on and on!

She really does have issues about BF, I have no clue where from, but my sister who lives near her did not even try due to her pressure and nor did either of my nieces!

What do you mean by militant Molly?

Ask the boys at The Student Room - Lots of breastfeeding hate here . Isn't it funny how the majority of those saying it's disgusting are boys with no experience of children, and yet they still feel qualified to comment?

ah moomin's link: the old chestnuts comparing bf to going to the toilet in public or having sex in public.

By militant I mean women is purposely go out of the way to make a point of breastfeeding in public as opposed to those who use a little more common sense.

goodbyepertbreasts.com/2013/08/14/breastfeeding-in-public-theres-a-time-and-a-place/

This article was written by a guy but I think it's pretty sensible. Just as someone wouldn't sit in the middle of Sainsbury's eating a McDonalds, why would it be necessary to start breastfeeding your child?

That all you have to base your argument on. Sigh.

Oh, Moomin, I had just cheered up (with chocolate self-medication) from being depressed about internet fuckwittery I encountered earlier today, and then you went and posted that link. My favourite comment is, "One thing I maintain though is that my wife would not be breastfeeding in public and there would be no discussion on that matter."

What a catch that young fellow is. He must have to beat the girls off with a stick.