to wonder WHAT exactly it is about a breastfeeding mother that some find offensive?

[MistressDeeCee]

www.itv.com/news/london/2014-06-06/breastfeeding-mother-in-tears-over-barrage-of-verbal-abuse/

[MoominAndMiniMoom]

Sorry Annie :( I've been reading it all afternoon and I don't think I've stopped sighing and shaking my head at their utter stupidity :(

molly That's exactly the point. The article was written by a guy. I wonder if he's ever had to deal with a screaming hungry baby in a public place, where everyone is silently urging you to shut the baby up with death glares... but heaven forbid you should shut them up by breastfeeding them!

[ShergarAndSpies]

Do you have kids mollypup ?

[Andrewofgg]

I know there are plenty of twattish men around, but I would suggest that this is more of a generation than of a gender matter.

When my sister fed my nephew, and he's 33, my DM was uncomfortable about it; not I, nor indeed my DSF.

Inevitably some adolescent males will gawp but there's not a lot to be done about that except hope that they'll grow out of it.

[mollypup]

In my previous post I stated that no I do not have children personally, but my friends do, family members do, heck I was even a child myself once. All of them manage to look after their babies perfectly fine without this 'I'll do what I want, when I want' attitude. The whole breastfeeding in public debate is rather new, what on earth did people do before?!
I don't think it's right to compare feeding a baby to other natural functions like the other articles make a point but at the same is it so wrong to want breast feeders to be just a bit mindful sometimes?

[mollypup]

*make a point of

[Tapirbackrider]

It's a perfectly natural sight these days to walk down the street and see people eating or drinking, but if you're breastfeeding then you're militant?

The main reason we don't see breastfeeding happening more often in public is because of disgusting, outdated opinions such as that.

[fledermaus]

"I'll do what I want, when I want" - what, like feed a hungry baby? Goodness, how unreasonable!

molly, are you really saying a woman at a party got her bare breast out and then sat like that for a couple of minutes chatting before picking up her baby to feed it?

[MoominAndMiniMoom]

mollypup Why should they have to be mindful? If you don't like it, look away. No-one's grabbing you and forcing you to stare at them. Which one of these responses seems more appropriate to you?

"Ooh someone's breastfeeding. I don't like that. How rude. I should contact the news. I should tell everyone how disgusted I am. I should go up to her and call her a slut for getting her breasts out in public! The more I look, the more revolted I feel! She's disgusting! Why can't she be more considerate? I'm sitting here, you know. She should go and sit in the toilets where no-one has to look at her!".

Or...

"Oh. She's breastfeeding. Not keen on people breastfeeding in public. Ah well, she's over there. I just won't look over there".

[fledermaus]

I saw a militant bottle feeder the other day just bottle feeding her baby in the school playground, totally shameless, where children could see her! Why didn't she use some common sense and wait til she got home?

[Pleasejustgo]

I doubt somehow that you're with your 'friends who have kids' 24/7. So with that in mind, I also doubt they share every single detail of their child rearing with you. What I mean is if they are out and about and are bf mothers I can guarantee you they'll have had at some point to do it in public. As your rather objectionable to the where and when, they've probably not disclosed these details as you're quite judgemental and dictatorial about what is or isn't acceptable.

Mindful? Heh heh. Ok.

[ShergarAndSpies]

mollypup the reason I asked is you said this in an earlier post:
Just as someone wouldn't sit in the middle of Sainsbury's eating a McDonalds, why would it be necessary to start breastfeeding your child

Which suggested to me that you believe that a mother should wait for 'an appropriate time and place' to BF a baby.

Now anyone who has had sole care of an infant for any length of time is very aware that often, they can't even go an hour between feeds and when they suddenly decide they are hungry / thirsty / unsettled and need comfort they have a strongly held belief that they are entitled to it immediately.

Babies need to be fed when they need to be fed. It often isn't predictable or convenient - one of the many things that makes parenting a small child challenging and sometimes stressful.

[LucyBabs]

I don't hold the opinion that breasts are for menz sexual needs

However bf makes my stomach turn it has made me feel like this since I first saw my Mum bf my brother and then later on my sister bf my niece.

It has nothing to do with sex for me just my own weird squeamish ness.

I don't think anyone should be stopped from bf in public it's my own problem.

Anyone who calls a bf mother a slut has their own deep dark issues

[OxfordBags]

Well, I'm glad a man has explained what's what about breastfeeding, Mollypup. Seeing as no man, ever (bar a couple of female to male post-operative transsexuals) has breastfed, and has zero experience of what it is like to produce milk, have breasts, feel a child suckle, or, indeed, be a woman, I really rate his advice above all else.

And that woman was not sat there 'with her tits out', she was preparing to breastfeed. It's got nothing to do with mothers having an "I'll do what I want, when I want" attitude, as you ridiculously put it, it's mothers having a "my baby must have its needs met" attitude. You see, one problem with breastfeeders is that we do rather tend to presume that other people won't be immature, ignorant twats who'd take issue with a child's needs being met, and that, if for some pathetic reason the sight of a suckling infant upset or perturbed them in some way, those people would have the good grave to feel ashamed, realised they were being ridiculous and decide to address whatever inadequacies or personal issues led them to be perturbed in the first place.

If you think the discomfort of ignorant, immature adults matters more than a baby's need for nourishment and comfort, or that attending to your child's needs is 'militant', then please remain childless. The baby's needs always come first, bottle or breast fed. Babies are not like adults who can choose to go hungry for a bit, or rationalise it, to make things convenient for others.

What did people do in the past? Women breastfed their children whenever, and wherever, since the dawn of time. What with the human race dying out if they hadn't done, FFS. It's the covering up or bottle feeding debate that's new, dearie.

And on a better note:
I've only ever had really nice experiences with older people witnessing my DS Bfing. They seem to go all misty-eyed about it. One old geezer shouted, "That's the good stuff, Sonny!" with a cheer, when DS latched on furiously when he was very little.

[LadyAlysVorpatril]

Wish I hadn't clicked on those links, sooo depressing.

[mrsmopps]

" thats the good stuff sonny "
love it!

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

God. In this day and age! I never stop being gobsmacked about crap like this. Who the hell are these people. Ridiculous.

I breastfeed everywhere and anywhere.

[mollypup]

oxfordbags seriously, immature and ignorant twats? Why are you reacting so badly to my opinion?

It is categorically not right to have referred to this woman as a slut or anything else negative that happened. I wasn't referring to the OP's article when I commented.

Also, oxfordbags you are paraphrasing my use of 'with her tits out' to reflect badly. Other posters have used the same terminology but because it was used to express a more positive view that's okay is it?

And yes she did sit there bare breasted for a while before feeding, the child was not crying or acting particularly unsettled. Two minutes was probably a bit hyperbolic but my point was that it was unnecessary.

It's clear that unless your of a specific opinion, you aren't very welcome on mumsnet, how nice.

[deakymom]

the only thing that gets me is the need for threads like this

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

Tell you what Molly, rather than feeding a child, would it make you less uncomfortable if the baby just screamed in your ear until I have finished whatever I'm doing anything in public and I can take my arm milky offensive tits out of your eyeline.

Or, perhaps you could avert your eyes? Or chuck a blanket and over your head? Or, you know, just fuck the fuck off?

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

*breastFED everywhere and anywhere. DDs are 10 and 8 now, not breastfeeding any more

[dawndonnaagain]

Mollypup

[Cheepypeepy]

I was sitting on a bench in a scultpture park BF my very hungry baby when a very old - 80+ - couple came over to tell us we were a much better work of art


A much nicer attitude

[Bunbaker]

"I'd say, simply put, that some people don't like the sight of a woman's bare breast in public."

But you don't actually see the breast because the baby is feeding. In my experience women don't tend to hang it all out to feed.

[fledermaus]

I see mollypup, so she didn't actually sit there with a breast out for no reason - she just got her boob out to feed her baby before it cried? Which is surely polite - feeding the baby promptly rather than waiting for it to cry and disturb everyone?

[fledermaus]

Even if you do see some breast, does it matter?