to wonder WHAT exactly it is about a breastfeeding mother that some find offensive?

[MistressDeeCee]

www.itv.com/news/london/2014-06-06/breastfeeding-mother-in-tears-over-barrage-of-verbal-abuse/

The Student Room often makes me very sad indeed but I did love the response to the chap who's poor wife wasn't going to be allowed to breast feed outside - "Obviously only one tit in that marriage" :) Genius!

Attitudes to breast feeding are pretty weird, I got the hardest time from some of the women in my family. Conversely, I was once on a long train journey among a whole load of young squaddies and they were so lovely and supportive about my baby feeding it still brings a little tear to my eye.
In general people can just be pretty strange when it comes to what's under the clothes.

I have to say, this crops up in the news every now and again and I know there are some really ignorant, rude people out there. But in over 2 years of bfing wherever I needed to, I don't think I received so much as a negative look. I do think things are changing for the better- slowly- as people become more educated about bfing. Let's hope so.

Also, older people are not always critical, like other posters I've had supportive comments from them. I used to visit my gran at her nursing home and one very vocal lady used to ask if I was 'feeding the baby myself' with a very obvious gesture and lots of smiles.

molly I would still like to know what you think mothers should be mindful of?

The breastmilk in the pool thing is ridiculous. You're worried about breastmilk and seeing breasts when you''re swimming in a marinade of piss, sweat, snot and chlorine?

feldermaus I just personally think that some places just aren't suitable for breastfeeding babies, clearly I'm in the absolute minority though...

What places? And what makes them unsuitable?

I'm struggling to think of any place you can safely take a baby that you couldn't feed them...

Mollypup - if a mum and baby are happy to breastfeed in any given environment and it's not putting either at risk of injury, then why shouldn't they do it?

The right place for a baby to feed is wherever they want to feed unless it's sitting astride a galloping horse or something, but that's a bit silly

I find seeing a baby being bottle fed with formula saddening and upsetting but wouldn't dream of saying so to the parent concerned!

And that's the exact kind of fuckwittery that creates the bottle vs breast divide.

I've spent all afternoon trying to educate the twits on the student room thread about why their arguments are so ill-thought-out, offensive and wrong. DD wouldn't latch on at all, despite nipple shields and all the will in the world, so I had to stop breastfeeding much earlier than I wanted.

If we start saying "I find seeing a baby fed in this way offensive", it makes it right for everyone else to say it? Why can't we just be happy that babies are getting fed, full fucking stop?

BF in public offensive? No, sexualisation of women in magazines, newspapers and TV is offensive. Mollypup do you take offence at billboards with lingerie advertisements? That is more sexualisation than breastfeeding. I am always so happy to see women who have the confidence to BF in public.

MoominAndMiniMoom This is one of these timeswhere I wish MN had a like button for posts.

I'm having an urge to slap an ignorant fucker round the face with a lactating breast.

That probably wouldn't help though would it?

Let's not start the ff vs bf again, we've all heard it all before.

I fed dd for a year, the first 6 months was hell on earth I can totally understand women not wanting to put themselves or their family through that.

Nothing wrong with ff

Nothing wrong with bf

Now ff and bf's together, let's concentrate our attentions on ALL the ignorant wank badgers out there that think they have a right to dictate what the right way to feed a baby is and where you can do it.

I am getting the urge to hide the thread and any further threads about BF/FF that pop up in AIBU. There is a BF/FF topic which I have hidden, and I now know why.

Yes mollypup, please tell me where the unsuitable places are. I need to know so that if I'm in such a place when my gorgeous, wonderful, innocent and above all, at that point, HUNGRY 3 month old asks for a feed I can ask her to wait. I'm sure she'll understand. Of course at first, as I get my boob out she won't be crying. I'll have spotted her feeding cues because I feed her 8-10 times a day and have done for the past 99 days. However to the very untrained observer she might not actually appear unsettled for, I dunno, a couple of minutes. Don't worry though, if I make her wait for a more 'suitable' venue she'll soon be raising the roof with her screams - far preferable to a brief flash of flesh that no one should have been looking at anyway.

Molly do you plan on having children and I'd so will you bf or ff?

adds fuel to the fire

LadyNexus - me too. Or maybe we could just squirt them in their ignorant eyes when they're ogling disapprovingly?

Well apparently all breastfeeding mums whap them out and squirt people at will mindthe. Like a giant supersoaker

We could make quite a fun game out of this

' Squirt the Squirmers'

So true Moomin - these days life is one long wet t-shirt competition. That must be why we do it! [Grin]

Ooops - grin fail -

I've secretly always wanted to be militant... turns out I already have been. Who'd have guessed?

"Most UK babies over a few weeks old are fully bottlefed."

This is just NOT true. In my county (pretty mixed in terms of depcat/other socioeconomic indicators) the % of babies exclusively or partly BF at 6 weeks is something like 56%.

HVs collect and report these data nationally. So if you're interested in finding out, you can. Also I would really disagree that 'society' pressures women into feeling that FF is the 'normal' or 'acceptable' thing to do - anyone who's had a child in the last ?10/20 years will have had the BF message loud and clear.

Personally, I couldn't BF longer than about 3 or 4 weeks. I had a weird pregnancy-related tendinitis in my hands and couldn't hold my lovely baby. Plus when her milky vomit after feeds was blood-streaked from my shredded nipples, I figured my sanity was more important. I'd not have thanked anyone for commenting on my choices, and I don't give a monkey's what anyone else chooses to do.

We're doing a decent job, I think, in getting the BF message across but ultimately it is up to the individual. And I don't see any single adult who is obviously disadvantaged by having been FF, or even a child for that matter. It's part of a whole range of things you can do (or not) to give your child the best possible.

Now ff and bf's together, let's concentrate our attentions on ALL the ignorant wank badgers out there that think they have a right to dictate what the right way to feed a baby is and where you can do it.

This.

There's no wrong way or place to feed a baby. I got a cup of warm water for FF at a coffee shop to bottle feed DD, while another woman a few tables away was BF. We exchanged smiles and went back to feeding our babies.

Also, let's be honest, this time and place thing is a load of crap anyway. No one seriously sits down in the middle of feet traffic, on the train tracks, in the road, in the middle of a police crime scene to BF. It's a nonargument, and a weak one to try and make designated BF areas.

Lady Nexus - if how babies are fed wasn't a public health issue, then the NHS wouldn't be spending money trying to increase the rates of it.

It's not just a lifestyle choice, and it's not just about the needs and preferences of adults. The campaign to increase breastfeeding rates continues because research shows that at a national level more breastfeeding = fewer sick babies. I appreciate that pointing this out is inconvenient to the feelings of those people who can't breastfeed, won't breastfeed, or are breastfeeding and not happy about it, but the NHS doesn't tend to prioritise protecting the feelings of adults when it comes to campaigns promoting healthier choices for children.