to MIL's reaction to my baby news?

[Bitgruntled]

Am honestly not expecting everyone to roll over in wonder at the miracle, but am expecting my third DC and we told my MIL tonight. She seemed a bit low key about it (which is fine) but was immediately very keen to know whether this child would be a private birth like the other two, of which she disapproves as she used to be a midwife and thinks private births are "a waste of money". We said yes, and she pursed her lips. (She also has a bee in her bonnet that she thinks it's her son's money I am 'wasting', when in fact the money has come from my own lifesavings, and I have thought very carefully about 'blowing it' on all my private births).

Then she said "Well, when I looked at you I thought you'd put on a lot of weight, but didn't think you could be pregnant again." Bit rude! I am 6 months' pregnant by the way.

Finally, she said to my DH "Well, you are going to have so much less free time, which is a bit of a shame, but there you go."

I feel a bit miffed tbh. Is this a bit of a crap reaction or am I being oversensitive?

Crap reaction but I'm guessing you don't have a great relationship to start with if you've only got round to telling her at 6 months.

Eish. She sounds like a bundle of joy. Sorry she rained on your parade, I would just try to forget about it.

Congratulations though!

She may well be pissed off you and your DH waited until you were 6 months gone to tell her.

As another poster has said, it doesn't seem like you have the best relationship.

I wouldn't give her reaction much thought.

Is she always like this? Sounds like it, in which case I'd let her get on with puffing and blowing and take no notice. Her loss.

6 months?? Why not tell her before?

We hadn't told anyone. I only told my own Mum very recently (to whom I am v close) - reason being we wanted to be certain everything was ok with the pregnancy as we have had a few problems.

There must be a back story otherwise why did you wait 6 months to tell her?

Why did you only just tell her? Presumably she's not on Facebook ..

Re: not telling her before, see above (didn't meant to dripfeed info by the way).

What's facebook got to do with anything?

Congrats OP. I would guess it's the six month news as well. Maybe she likes being in the loop?

Actually, she is often like this (critical) but I thought another grandchild would be a joy. Oh well. We're thrilled about it, as is my own Mum!

Certainly hadn't put it on FB I hadn't thought about the lateness of the news. Bit thick of me probably but we have been immersed in making sure all was well.

May as we'll go for the double, ask her since you used to be a midwife and have loads of experience with pregnancies. "Any chance you could have a look at my huge piles? I'll just pop into your good sitting room, drop my pants and wait for you there" thanks

Because there has been a spate of threads recently where posters have complained about hearing baby news on Facebook, when they wanted to be told personally. Or their 'thunder was stolen' because someone had broken the news of a pregnancy, etc etc ad nauseam. That's all ...

Thanks for the congrats. I think that's all I wanted to hear really - a genuine congratulations!

She probably feels as though you think NHS midwifery is substandard as you have chosen to go private. She perhaps takes this as a bit of a snub to her profession. Are you "blowing" all your "life savings" on th birth?

Well, three private births will have seen off most of my savings, yes. With DH's support. Had a relative who had a truly traumatic NHS birth and I swore I'd go private, to get care that was under less strain. Which is not a criticism of NHS midwives, just wanting to avoid an overburdened system.

Don't take it seriously. Her loss if she wants to be grumpy, but I'm also wondering whether dh had already told her? And why did you wait 6 months, she had clearly worked it out anyway.

Dh hadn't told her. We don't see her much, she lives miles away. last saw her at Easter when I still didn't really look pregnant (even now I look more fat than anything, it;s true!)

Do you normally tell her sooner with your other 2? She could just be upset you waited this long.

Ignore it, your baby will have at least one set of enthusiastic grandparents. :)

Congrats btw!

Thank you. I think we did tell her sooner before. I don't actually know why I am letting it get under my skin.

Then surely the first comment was just an accurate observation.

Well, I think it's an odd, and a bit rude observation to make when you have literally just heard you are having another grandchild. Mind you, she is obsessed with weight (whole other thread there)

Yes, the comment about weight and no spare time was a little odd and unnecessary. But who would willingly spend their life savings on giving birth? What about the important events after a baby is born?

Someone who'd seen someone have a terrible, terrible birth followed by cataclysmic PND. But I didn't actually ask if it was unreasonable to spend my savings on private births (and for which I have zero regrets)....