to MIL's reaction to my baby news?

[Bitgruntled]

Am honestly not expecting everyone to roll over in wonder at the miracle, but am expecting my third DC and we told my MIL tonight. She seemed a bit low key about it (which is fine) but was immediately very keen to know whether this child would be a private birth like the other two, of which she disapproves as she used to be a midwife and thinks private births are "a waste of money". We said yes, and she pursed her lips. (She also has a bee in her bonnet that she thinks it's her son's money I am 'wasting', when in fact the money has come from my own lifesavings, and I have thought very carefully about 'blowing it' on all my private births).

Then she said "Well, when I looked at you I thought you'd put on a lot of weight, but didn't think you could be pregnant again." Bit rude! I am 6 months' pregnant by the way.

Finally, she said to my DH "Well, you are going to have so much less free time, which is a bit of a shame, but there you go."

I feel a bit miffed tbh. Is this a bit of a crap reaction or am I being oversensitive?

Softly... sorry - the 'Be as entitled as you like' wasn't aimed at you, it was to the OP. It's nice that you still have a lovely relationship with your ex-MIL even if your current one isn't great, she sounds horrible.

I think that the OP's post throws up different points and people are responding on those. Mine wasn't about the money for private birth, I think that's fair enough if that's what you want to do - it was about waiting six months to tell close family. I'd be disappointed, very. Some PIL would make a point of letting the couple know that (possibly why no congratulations) but wouldn't take it out on a child and would love the child when it arrived.

Lying - both our mothers are fairly elderly. What on earth is 'entitled ' about trying to spare them our worries?! As well as having to deal with other people's worries at what was a stressful time. My own Mum wasn't at all cheesed off about not being told for so long and completely got it. As I mentioned, we are close and I don't need to tell her every last thing in order to guarantee her support! Anyway, thanks to the majority on this thread for the support. I can laugh about it today!

She'll get over OP, stuff what she thinks. As to whether or not you should have private births that's nobody else's business but yours and people questioning should also just shove off. Sorry for blunt time, am rather hot and bothered today..!

*over it I meant to say...

*blunt tone. Sorry!

When I told my aunty I was pregnant she said Ooooooh we have some exciting news too! 's father has just sold his house!
Woo hoo, I thought.

sometimes older ladies can feel jealous your going through all baby stage again and having a baby when there is no way they can...men can of course....

To be fair, disgruntled your OP mentions nothing about your mothers being elderly, nor you wishing to save them the worry. It mentions your birth plan and your MIL's view on that.

I would have been very disappointed; I don't think it's ok to keep close family out of that sort of news. Just my opinion.

When we told MIL about DS (our first and only), her reaction was "oh I didnt think you liked children "

Though if you want a chuckle, one of my closest friends reaction:

"I knew you getting a cat last year was the thin end of the wedge"

I've just remembered that when we announced first pg to MIL she said something like 'I thought you were never going to have children, as you're such a Career Woman'.

I was 27 yrs old

Filimou one of DH's colleagues said to him (when we got a cat)

'A cat only holds them off for so long mate...'

rhinestone

Congratulations OP. YANBU. MIL sounds really fucking rude.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! She sounds like my best friend's MIL. She never seems to have anything good to say! We've concluded it's entirely her problem, she is very childish about most issues so my friend tries not to take things to heart but it's always a struggle - including jibes about her weight since she had her baby. This said there was no reason for your MIL to rain on your parade like that, very petty! Easier said than done but try not to let her get to you.

She is rude

OP

Out of interest, how many children has your MIL got?

Whatever, she should have kept her opinions to herself

The reaction we had was "ooh is it a girl?" when we told MIL at 12 weeks.

Crap reaction, totally your choice. I had a home birth for the last of my three and omg you'd have thought it was world war the comments I got. Ignore her. And enjoy your pregnancy.

Dh told his family over a family dinner when I was 11 weeks pregnant with our first. He was so excited, then his sister who is a doctor said " you do realise this is FAR too early to be getting excited don't you?!" We hadn't planned on telling them, dh just couldn't wait but I was gutted. Have hated her ever since.

YANBU. The only appropriate reaction under the circumstances is "Congratulations - how exciting!" or similar, whatever she thinks personally. Though I can sort of see why she thinks those other things about waste of money, personal affront to NHS midwifery, DH not having any time etc. But she should keep them to herself.

Those that think its unacceptable to wait until 6 months to be told or who would be upset by someone doing so.

What on earth makes you think you have a right to the news sooner? Adults are perfectly ok to decide for themselves if they need parental support with concerns and its perfectly acceptable to decide that no not only do they not need it but that it could make a difficult decision or tramatic event much much harder