Pineapples ..... Total fuckers.

[HoneyDragon]

They always manage to stab you when you carry home, no matter where in the bag you put them.


You waste loads, only 10% of the fuckers are officially edible.

They are messy.

You end up eating half of it before you finished chopping it up, on account they are gorgeous little bastards, so you never officially have enough, then get pineapple consumption guilt.

Pineapples, total fuckers.

[TooOldForGlitter]

Pineapples eat my tongue

[CatsCantTwerk]

Do any of you who suffer from pineapple lip fuck suffer from cold sores?

My dp is a cold sore sufferer so Im wondering if that is linked somehow?

[MrsCosmopilite]

Love the taste of fresh pineapple but every time I eat too much and it makes my mouth bleed. Fuckers.

[EduCated]

I'm another whose mouth burns on pineapple. Presuming a sensitivity to the acids?

However I physically cannot resist cheese and pineapple on sticks. It is quite possibly my most absolute favourite thing ever.

[HoneyDragon]

Oh I forgot about the desire to be a "fun and educational" parent and nurture I manky saucer of water till roots appear. Then investing in a pot and soil. Then watering what is essentially a fucking sharp spike that attacks you when you water it. Before leaving it to wither and die.

Just so you can tell pre school, "oh yes, we're doing the pineapple plant thing, such fun" when really, the dcs give no fucks what so ever.


Bloody
Fucking
Pineapples.

[YouveCatToBeKittenMe]

I love pineapples...I usually eat a whole one though

Mango's are VERY difficult to cut up to put in a fruit salad
Apparently if UKIP get into government then there will be no more Mango's imported... this is probably a load of tosh

That's why I didn't vote UKIP

I love pomegranates
When I win the lottery I am going to employ a pomegranate preparer person

[CatsCantTwerk]

You have done more than I have HoneyDragon I have never even attempted it

[MrsDiesel]

I love pineapples but hate the chopping business, definitely considering a fingymagig now they are mumsnet recommended.

[Needadvice5]

Randall I have one of those gadgets, got it from Sainsbos for about a fiver kast year, amazing! no mess and no waste!

[phantomnamechanger]

allergysymptomsx.com/pineapple-allergy.php

[wherethewildthingis]

Can't even look at a pineapple these days due to eating three in a row in a misguided attempt to bring on labour... Love a mango though. As does DS, he has never had chocolate so thinks they are the best food in the world.

[ILikeWarmHugs]

I'm not 'scientisty' in the slightest but I used to work in the well known health food shop, we'll call it Bolland and Harret, and the enzyme (bromelain) is a great aid for digestion.

I then heard a little while ago (I think it was part of a stand up comedians set, but can't be sure) that the reason it hurts is because that same powerful enzyme is starting to digest the tissue in your mouth, hence the stingyness.

But like I say, I'm not scientisty in the slightest, so can't reference my work!

[Morethanalittlebitconfused]

Another fruit that's a fucker - the lychee

[TalcAndTurnips]

I am rather suspicious of pineapples' ability to sabotage a humble jelly.

What kind of foul alchemy is that? There you are, attempting to make a nice teat-time treat - they sell a bloody pineapple-flavour jelly, for feck's sake; what else would you be expected to float in it? - and all you can succeed in making is very sweet pineapple-flavoured water with some sunken depth charges of the sinister fruit.


The first time it happened to me, I was attempting to impress some capable and sophisticated fellow mothers. I think they were less than happy with what looked like a bowl of piss with urinal sanitising blocks sitting in it. They probably talked of my incompetence with glee.

[HorseyGirl1]

Having read this thread I now want to eat a pineapple - but I'm the only one who will eat it in thus house so will have to eat it all. Bastard pineapples and their bastard mouth-watering yummy-ness.

[CatsCantTwerk]

teat-time treat and another

[Pipbin]

I've got a mango cutter upper.
I've used it for years and it worked a treat:
www.lakeland.co.uk/10294/OXO-Good-Grips-Mango-Splitter

I used to get fresh pineapples but I got so fed up with the unreliableness of them.

[Pipbin]

Mango defucker:

[CatsCantTwerk]

How does that work Pipbin?

[WelshMaenad]

I've got one of those pineapple doodahs, it's amazing!

[DatsunCogs]

I have just come on this thread to ask if there is such a thing as a mango cutter upper, thanks Pipbin!
I have the pineapple gadget and it's ace. Also a strawberry huller which was an expensive and useless pair if tweezers. Any more fruit slicing gadgets I can get? I love cluttered kitchen drawers...

[VisualiseAHorse]

Don't even get me started on avocados....

[CatsCantTwerk]

Ive never tried avocados

Are they nice?

[SecretNutellaFix]

Honey- the reasons in your OP are the reason I buy the ready prepared stuff.

[paulapantsdown]

Pineapples do indeed apparently contain an enzyme that dissolves meat.

So while you are eating it, it is eating you.

Evil bastard pineapple.