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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child wants to go home at 2am

93 replies

SarahAnderson · 01/06/2014 20:42

8 year old daughter has a friend to stay over for the first time. Friend has barely ever spent a night away from parents. She goes off to sleep reasonably happy, but wakes and gets upset at 2am. Says she wants to go home. Can't be convinced otherwise. Is there any reasonable course of action other than taking her home at 2am?

OP posts:

Longtalljosie · 01/06/2014 20:43

I don't think I would! How long did you try to calm her down for?

grocklebox · 01/06/2014 20:43

I would go with not taking anyone home at 2am, personally. I'd tell her to shut up and go back to sleep

BertieBotts · 01/06/2014 20:45

Oh I think I would take her home!

deakymom · 01/06/2014 20:46

at eight i would give her the phone and tell her i will get dressed you ring mom let mom try calming her down if it didn't work i would take her home really there is no need to keep an unwilling child at age 8

or i would offer her the sofa and frozen until a reasonable time!

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 01/06/2014 20:47

Is this a reverse?

Noteventhebestdrummer · 01/06/2014 20:47

One hopes the parents have emphasised their desire to be contacted in this circumstance and come to collect their kid...

theeternalstudent · 01/06/2014 20:47

I would take her home. Why leaver her to get upset? That would just make it miserable for everyone.

Xihha · 01/06/2014 20:48

I'd go with suggesting hot chocolate or a story and sit and cuddled her for a bit, no way would I take a child home at 2am.

Chrysanthemum5 · 01/06/2014 20:48

I think at 8 I'd have to kindly say child couldn't go home until the morning. However DS has a friend who has severe anxiety issues and when he's been here on a sleepover I have agreed with him that if he wants to go home at any point I'd take him home - but that reassurance allows him the comfort of feeling safe so he generally stays and has fun.

Lilaclily · 01/06/2014 20:49

You wouldn't get me & dh up to pick up at 2am
We probably wouldn't hear the door if you came round

Purplepoodle · 01/06/2014 20:50

I was that child when I was younger. I became so anxious that my friends mom rang my mom to pick me up. I was a nervous child so parents were half expecting it.

HecatePropylaea · 01/06/2014 20:50

I'd phone the parents and tell them and say she wants you to come and fetch her.
then, if they arent willing to, they can tell her.
I wouldnt be driving anyone home at 2am.
I would expect that if my child was wanting to come home , I would have to fetch them.

Purplepoodle · 01/06/2014 20:51

Friends mum tried for over an hour to calm me down before ringing my mum.

momb · 01/06/2014 20:51

I'd wake up my child as a companion for them. Bit of a cuddle, drink of milk, and tuck them down together for a bit.

Promise that I'd come back in to check in 30 mins (expecting to find them asleep together) and see how it goes.

Bowlersarm · 01/06/2014 20:52

That's a difficult one. I think as she hasn't really done sleepovers before it might be acceptable to take her home. Her parents may be expecting her to possibly not settle as it's an unknown situation they are all in.

But I'm on the fence a bit. I think you need to be there to form an accurate picture I.e. whether she would be able to settle eventually. (And i wouldn't have her back anytime soon for a sleepover)

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/06/2014 20:53

I'd phone the parents and get them to come if I couldn't persuade her to stay.

LIZS · 01/06/2014 20:53

Depends on circumstances but disturbing 2 households feels a bit unnecessary.

crispyporkbelly · 01/06/2014 20:54

If they were really upset I would call parents

WhatchaMaCalllit · 01/06/2014 20:55

What did you decide to do?

I would have sat on the couch with the TV on and given her a glass of milk or something and if she fell asleep watching the tv, then so be it. I'd wait until early morning (7-8am) and phone her parents to say that we're on our way!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 01/06/2014 20:55

I'd ring patents and ask them to collect,I wouldn't be driving anyone home at 2 am.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 01/06/2014 20:55

Parents

dingit · 01/06/2014 20:55

I would happily fetch mine at anytime. A few years ago ds went to a large sleepover and some of the other boys were really nasty. DH went to fetch him at 10.30 ( he was sobbing), fortunately just along the road, but they had to wade through deep snow.

DuckandCat · 01/06/2014 20:56

It's a difficult one! Personally if my child was at a friends house and crying for me at 2am, I would like the chance to talk to her/ go and get her if all else fails.

I suppose it depends on how upset they are. If hysterical and crying then I would definitely call the parents, but it would be a last resort.

Sparklingbrook · 01/06/2014 20:57

I would ring the parents and ask what they wanted to do. If child goes home the parents would have to fetch.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/06/2014 20:58

A lot of folk don't have landlines now

And the ringer is turned off on my mobile at night

I'd probably turn it off if I had a squinky 8 year old though but it might not occur to everyone

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