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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child wants to go home at 2am

93 replies

SarahAnderson · 01/06/2014 20:42

8 year old daughter has a friend to stay over for the first time. Friend has barely ever spent a night away from parents. She goes off to sleep reasonably happy, but wakes and gets upset at 2am. Says she wants to go home. Can't be convinced otherwise. Is there any reasonable course of action other than taking her home at 2am?

OP posts:

ancientbuchanan · 01/06/2014 22:05

Happened to us both ways. Always rang parents, unless we knew they were away, or picked up if it was our Ds.

WiggleGinger · 01/06/2014 22:08

I'm surprised at all of the harsh comments of make her stay!
Ieukd get chatting to calm them but if that didn't help I'd be making arrangements for them to go home.
I would sincerely hope I would be called if my child was upset in the night. Imagine how they would feel?
Especially if it's with one of those mums who tells you to go back to sleep, that's horrid!
8 is very young, and I would hope the parents would have a phone on ready to take a call, I certainly would!
Poor love, I was a nervous sleepover friend as a child and was denied the chance to call home at 9,30pm and spent the whole night sad! My mum was livid the following day! (With friends parents!)
Always call!!!!

hamptoncourt · 01/06/2014 22:12

Well I am a single parent so I would not be able to leave the other DC and take the upset one home. So if the upset childs parents weren't willing or able to get her, they would be stuck at mine until the morning I am afraid.

LynetteScavo · 01/06/2014 22:18

I would phone parents after trying everything else. I wouldn't just turn up on the doorstep!

Sprinkling invisible "sleepy dust" on DD always worked when she couldn't get to sleep, and I recently tired it in desperation on a sleepover guest... and it worked!

CauldronOfFrogsLegs · 01/06/2014 22:18

I would try to calm them, DVD, warm drink and if that didn't work I would drive them home.

However if it was my child at someone's house I would go collect them. I would be too nervous waiting for them to arrive.

ThingsThatShine · 01/06/2014 22:21

I would phone parents and ask if they wanted to come and collect.

Permanentlyexhausted · 01/06/2014 23:06

Before my daughter went on her first sleepover we talked about what would happen if she got upset in the night, and I explained that if that happened she would have to stay until the morning before she could come home. I said that if she didn't think she could manage that then she wasn't ready for a sleepover. She decided she could manage but, apparently, she did get upset in the wee hours. Friend's mum took the same line as me. She would take her home in the morning. DD survived and was very proud of her achievement.

WilsonFrickett · 01/06/2014 23:20

I would pretty much expect parents with DCs away on sleepovers to go out, so wouldn't expect them to be able to pick up. And as often as not my DH is away, so I wouldn't/couldn't wake up my own DS to put him in the car to drive the other child home. So I'd have to stick with reassurance I guess!

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 01/06/2014 23:21

I think this is an owner collects situation. If they don't answer the phone at 2am, I wouldn't just go anyway.

Ds has had sleepovers since he was 5. He was a bit tearful the first twice he stayed at my best friends. It was just going to bed and my friend was able to console him.

None of the DC that have stayed here have ever been upset.

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout · 01/06/2014 23:24

I'd phone her parent/s. If it were my child I'd want to know, as I'm sure you would want to know if it were your D.D. xx

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 01/06/2014 23:25

Is OP even coming back????

starfishmummy · 01/06/2014 23:39

I am a bit confused. The original post was at 20:42 so is this something that has already happened; a hypothetical question or is SarahAnderson in a different time zone?

whatchutalkinboutwillis · 01/06/2014 23:44

I reckon this girl that wants to go home is OP's DD's friend and it happened last night but she only posted it now

onedev · 01/06/2014 23:53

What happened Op? My eldest is 7 & nowhere near ready for a sleepover so we're quite a bit away from this stage.

allisgood1 · 01/06/2014 23:54

I think this is a reverse

HolidayCriminal · 01/06/2014 23:58

Definitely a case for chivvying them into going back to sleep & take home at a civilised hour if still required.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 02/06/2014 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

someonestolemynick · 02/06/2014 00:20

When I used to run summer camps, we had a homesick tea which cured every child who tried it.

DollyWosits · 02/06/2014 00:22

I hope the OP comes back tomorrow

annebullin · 02/06/2014 00:26

I'd go downstairs and put a movie on and let the child snuggle under a quilt on the couch - she'll soon fall asleep.

But if I thought that was likely to happen, I wouldn't have had the sleepover in the first place.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 02/06/2014 01:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gregsageek · 02/06/2014 01:43

This has to be a reverse.
I think if child was really upset, I would watch TV with them until they were calm and then put them back to bed.
I can't imagine calling another parent at 2am unless child was persistently and uncalmdownably crying.

Nocomet · 02/06/2014 01:49

I made DDs friend stay at 1am, but she was older and famous for being stupidly shy.

She's known DD since she was 2 and DD is unbelievably patient with her.

Personally I reckoned by 10 she really should have grown out of being quite so silly.

I'm sure she would have had her year not been such a load of indulgent softies.

PrincessBabyCat · 02/06/2014 02:02

Call the parents and have them get her. Their kid, their responsibility.

scotchtikidoll · 02/06/2014 02:03

My mum drove my friend home in the middle of the night when we were 9 because there was a spider in the room. She wouldn't stop crying. I was glad she went because she was really starting to annoy me.

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