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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop taking photos of anyone until someone takes one of me

83 replies

Pantone363 · 01/06/2014 10:07

I'm aware vanity is unattractive........but it would be nice to have a few candid unposed photos of myself.

I always seem to be the person taking photos at BBQs, parties, picnics etc therefore ending up with none of myself. I've asked DP before we've gone out and said oh would you mind taking some photos tonight, one blurry shot and he's done. The same with friends. We all went to a big party last night, before it started everyone's said oh let's get some nice photos, I took the pass code off my phone and left it on our table so nobody had any excuse not to take photos.

And again there is not one of me. I hate posed photos and selfies and actively handing my phone and asking for a photo because it comes off awkward.

I've woken up to two texts from friends asking to see/forward photos from last night to them and DP woke up 30 mins ago and wanted to see the photos. Looking through them you would have no idea I was even at the party!

AIBU to say 'oh sorry there aren't any something must have happened to my camera?!'

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 01/06/2014 10:08

Yanbu

youmakemydreams · 01/06/2014 10:11

Yanbu. My friend remembers asking her mum when she was small why she was never on holiday with them. She was she was just taking all the photos.
It's the same here. It is always me taking photos on days out and things it looks like I never joined in at all. There are a few of me that the dc have taken but that's about it.

GoringBit · 01/06/2014 10:12

Another yanbu.

Loobiya · 01/06/2014 10:13

YANBU

PickleSarnie · 01/06/2014 10:14

Yanbu. There are a million pictures and my husband but very, very few of me. My husbands argument is that he hardly uses the camera which is usually followed by "well, I'll take a photo of you now" which is so forced and awkward.

BornOfFrustration · 01/06/2014 10:14

Yip, YANBU

Fishstix · 01/06/2014 10:15

Ya but this happens to me too. DH would never think of getting pictures of me with our kids unless I asked first.

Longdistance · 01/06/2014 10:15

Yanbu.

This is how it works in our family. I hardly appear in pictures, as I'm the one taking them. Although, the camera (DSLR) is mine, dh knows how to use it, so don't know why he doesn't. Probably pure laziness on his part.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 01/06/2014 10:15

YANBU. If I die today the girls will think I was never with them which is so far from the truth. I have started taking selfies of us but they are not great nor candid.

FelixFelix · 01/06/2014 10:17

YANBU. I am constantly taking photos. There's hundreds of lovely ones of DP and 5 month old DD, but there is literally 2 pictures of me and DD. One from Christmas Day when she was 3 days old, then one from a picnic a couple of weekends ago. I'm so gutted there's not even one from the hospital when she was first born, when there's loads of DP and DD in the hospital Sad I don't even care that I would have looked a mess! It's quite upsetting really. When I mention it to DP he just shrugs and says he's not the photo taking type Hmm

PickleSarnie · 01/06/2014 10:21

felix, I'm gutted about that too. There isn't a single picture of me and my second son when he was just born and it still really bothers me two years later.

sonlypuppyfat · 01/06/2014 10:22

If I ever went missing and they needed an up to date photo of me they wouldn't find one, it drives me up the wall.

Donteatthekidssweets · 01/06/2014 10:22

YANBU. This happens to me - we have a very nice camera which he carries around all day but won't use unless I specifically ask. This is then followed by an eye roll and one photo max. I need lots of photos taken of me before I like one too Hmm. My kids won't know I was ever around!

Original poster
Pantone363 · 01/06/2014 10:25

I was expecting an onslaught of don't be so bloody vain!

What pisses me off more than anything is the conversations about the photos later "hahaha look at this one, great shot Pantone", comments on FB, have you seen x in that photo etc etc.

I'm putting them all in a hidden album on my phone now and replying that there's no photos for some reason. Fuck em.

OP posts:
sillymillyb · 01/06/2014 10:26

I'm a single parent and this was one of the things that really upset me - not one bloody photo of me AND ds. I've started doing selfies too - and just being a bit more bolshy about asking other people. They prob think I'm really vain now as I'm always demanding people take photos of me and ds Grin

Original poster
Pantone363 · 01/06/2014 10:27

I have started to ask the DC so I do have a few but taken from child height with the sun in the background!

A few months ago I purposely didn't take photos on a night out. Cue much moaning the next day that there was no photos and why didn't anybody take any. You mean why didn't I take any!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/06/2014 10:31

You might have asked people to take photos but obviously haven't conveyed how strongly you feel. If you don't do that the situation isn't going to be addressed.

Nunyabiz · 01/06/2014 10:33

YANBU. Most of the photos of when DD was born (3 years ago) are of DH holding her in the hospital. The only ones of me holding her are when I asked if he could please take some pictures of me with her, and I look all posey. Her latest birthday photos.... Him helping her cut the cake. Him helping her blow out the candles.
Same with her second birthday.
In fact same with her first!
We had a friend of mine take some professional photos after she was born of our family. He was holding her in every shot, except for one. I don't know why I didn't notice at the time! I just gave birth to her and yet I had to take a back seat.

The only pictures I have with her since she was born are 'selfies'.
Ugh this is riling me up Confused

Original poster
Pantone363 · 01/06/2014 10:37

I thought I had made it clear last night. I told everyone "I'm going to leave my phone here and I've taken the pass code off so everyone can take photos"

I was taking photos through the night and then putting the phone back! There are somr lovely shots of my friend and her DP, groups of mates laughing, dancing etc. there's one of me caught in the reflection of a mirror by accident!

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 01/06/2014 10:38

I make sure people take photos of me now since my Dad died two years ago and we had to scour around to find any photos of him as he was always the one taking the pictures. We found pictures of him as a child that his grandparents had taken, and there were pictures of him as a oldish man that I had taken as an adult, but very few of him as a young/middle aged man -and those are actually the times I wanted to remember in photos as it was when I was growing up. (Only ones we have are his passport photos where he looks very stern,which he wasn't at all!)

I don't want my kids not to have any pictures of me. (And its not vanity - I certainly have no reason to be vain!! - it's a family record and it means a lot to those who come after you)

emms1981 · 01/06/2014 10:38

I thought it was just me, I have 2 boys age 5 and 7 and have maybe 3 pictures with me in, I often think if anything happened to me they would have nothing to remember me by.

Pyjamaramadrama · 01/06/2014 10:39

Yanbu, happens to me too.

I'm always taking them of ds and dp, dp takes ones of 'the view' then a forced one of me when I moan about it.

Loobiya · 01/06/2014 10:42

I don't take photos of DH and child as there is hardly any of me with our child. He wouldn't take any of me but there were so many lovely ones of them courtesy of me...sounds horridly vindictive of me

ilovesooty · 01/06/2014 10:43

Telling people the phone was there to take photos seemingly hasn't been clear enough. Do none of them have phones themselves? If they aren't aware of how angry and hurt you are nothing is going to change is it?

TheSarcasticFringehead · 01/06/2014 10:46

You need to make it clear to them- not just saying 'can you take some photos' but saying- I take a lot of photos, do you mind taking a couple of shots of me?

YANBU about having no photos taken though, it's quite thoughtless.

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