Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 10 11

Original poster

To have asked her not to tell dcs?

258 replies

Edenviolet · 31/05/2014 22:44

Dsis has recently become a vegetarian after apparently seeing some horrific films about animals not stunned before slaughter. She is also very vocal about standards being high for animals etc ( eg she won't eat barn eggs only free range-more on that later...)

She started today to tell my dcs that she is vegetarian and I had to stop her explaining why as I don't want them saying they want to be as well (hard enough to get them to eat as it is and I don't want another food issue or have to cook different meals).
I also didnt want them upset about the stunning/slaughtering that she was just about to mention.

As far as I'm concerned all they need to know is that auntie doesn't eat meat, not the exact reasons why.
She started talking about chickens and how only free range eggs will do and dd1 checked our ones and said they were barn eggs and dsis shook her head and explained how unhappy the chickens would have been.

I have no issue with dsis being vegetarian, if she comes to our house I'm happy to provide the right food for her and I understand what led her to make her decision but I don't want her 'lecturing' my dcs about it, and it really does seem like a lecture when she starts talking about it .
She even went through the cupboard to see which sweets have gelatine in and ds1 asked why and she started to explain but I stopped her again as I didn't want dd2 put off any of them.

OP posts:

PrincessBabyCat · 31/05/2014 23:53

princess, I wonder what they would have done if she'd had a food intolerance or a medical need for a different diet?

They would have done what any parent would have done and gotten her the food she needed. Don't be stupid.

I think people's principles, especially those of children growing into young adults, are especially important to nurture. That's why I think your aunt and uncle are horrible. If they'd said, "We're really sorry, we just can't afford to buy you different food because the family budget won't stretch to it", I could understand, but you didn't say that.

It's all well and good to have morals. But you need to teach kids that if they want to stand up for something they need to put the time and money in it. Being generous with someone else's paycheck isn't teaching them anything.

AgentZigzag · 31/05/2014 23:54

I was only going on my own experiences of it Suburban, sorry if you feel as though I was attacking you/all vegetarians (I'll sling vegans in too, just to be fair like).

But then you did say you couldn't care less about what anyone else eats just before saying about cheap meat You just couldn't help yourself.

I didn't eat meat until I was in my 20's because I genuinely couldn't stomach the fat on the cheap cuts of meat my mum bought.

To me it's just a private choice, but when they choose to make it public every single time they see you and tell you things you'd rather not hear, then they're fair game for a bit of judging.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:55

princess, how sad you felt compelled to be so rude.

Perhaps that's because your arguments just don't stand up on their own.

SuburbanRhonda · 31/05/2014 23:57

Meat-eaters choose to eat meat, though, agent, so presumably they are also fair game for judging, as per the OP?

How lovely this thread has turned out to have come full circle

Janethegirl · 31/05/2014 23:59

Everyone chooses what they want to eat rhonda

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 00:00

Princess you said it was hypocritical to have eggs/dairy if a vegetarian, you didn't say that was in context of someone forcing their views on you. I am disagreeing that it is hypocritical, or, at least, that it is within the confines of how humans - flawed as we are! - can be expected to behave.

I was agree with Worra who was talking about asking the OP's sister those things.

There's no way to get everything that is ethically sound with no human or animal rights being violated. You'd never be able to buy anything. You can only support so many causes.

But as with anything, you can't point a finger at someone without 3 pointing back at you.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 00:01

Really, jane?

Igggi · 01/06/2014 00:01

What if a child wants to become vegetarian before an age were they have money to contribute? I think it is sad that a parent would be so dismissive of their request. Let's face it a lot of young people might try it for a week and then give up, at least as a parent you'd have shown respect for their choices.

itsbetterthanabox · 01/06/2014 00:03

I think it's wrong to not tell your children the truth about meat, eggs and milk. I think it should be up to them if they think suffering and killing is worth it to eat it. I think your sister is doing nothing wrong. Be honest with your children and let them decide. I think forcing meat onto people is very wrong and you are doing that by not telling them.

Igggi · 01/06/2014 00:03

There's no way to get everything that is ethically sound with no human or animal rights being violated.
So, we are in agreement then!
It is the OP's sister's attitude that is at issue here, not the fact that she has chosen to become an (almost) vegetarian.

AgentZigzag · 01/06/2014 00:04

Yeah, but meat eaters only bang on about it when they're cornered in a stand off with the veggies

(and I don't see myself as a meat eater really (not compared to the real carnivores I know) as I can take it or leave it, and I don't bang on about it)

AgentZigzag · 01/06/2014 00:04

My last post was to Suburban.

Janethegirl · 01/06/2014 00:05

Only spoon fed babies do not choose what to eat, everyone else has free choice whether to eat or not eat any given item unless you're invoking force feeding rhonda. Money most enter into it as most people cant afford lobster every day :)

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 00:06

igggi didn't someone upthread say their DS chose to be vegetarian age 5 and the parents encouraged it?

How lovely to encourage his views and principles.

whois · 01/06/2014 00:07

Then tell her if she's going to preach about animal cruelty, she best become a vegan...

Boom.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 00:08

Yeah, but meat eaters only bang on about it when they're cornered in a stand off with the veggies

I know you out a next to this, but you've clearly not heard the views of Gordon Ramsay and his ilk about vegetarianism.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 00:09

jane, sorry, I should have put a after the post you're referring too. Didn't think anyone would take it seriously.

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 00:09

princess, how sad you felt compelled to be so rude.

There's a huge difference between a medical reason for changing a diet and just wanting to be vegetarian. One is necessary for health reasons, one is not. I think you're smart enough to understand that and not make the leap because a parent is not going to get separate meals for a child that they don't care about their health. I really do.

Perhaps that's because your arguments just don't stand up on their own.

Actually they do.

She could have been vegetarian. She chose nice clothes over animals.

It's not like she had no clothes and she had to make the hard choice to cloth herself instead of saving helpless baby animals. She had plenty of nice stuff.

Apparently she didn't care that badly when it was her money being spent on the food.

I don't understand what's so bad about teaching kids to put the time and money into what they believe in.

Janethegirl · 01/06/2014 00:10

I didn't think it was necessary to explain my comment but ......

AgentZigzag · 01/06/2014 00:10

What age would you tell your DC about the suffering itsbetterthanabox?

How much detail would you go into?

Would you tell them even if you thought it'd upset them?

It's not for the OPs sister to force her into talking about something she doesn't want to with her children, she said her DD1 is sensitive and would be upset, why would she do something so cruel to her?

SuburbanRhonda · 01/06/2014 00:12

princess, I know there's difference.

It's just a shame you felt your arguments weren't sufficient without an insult thrown in.

Igggi · 01/06/2014 00:14

Rhonda, my dcs are veggie but I can't pretend they chose it - yet - as just eating what we all eat.
The 6 year old is very bemused at the idea anyone in his family eat meat - why do granny and grampa eat dead animals etc. I never really know how to answer, maybe I should get him to ask them or maybe not

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 00:14

Then they can help cook the extra meals or do extra chores to help out more. I am of the firm belief that if children want a say in house is run, they have to contribute to making it happen.

No one is saying that they shouldn't be allowed to choose, but they need to understand the extra work that their parents are putting into that choice and help out accordingly.

AgentZigzag · 01/06/2014 00:15

I haven't Surburban, what's Ramsey been blathering on about now?

He's just a fucking cook goady fucker though, do you really take him that seriously?

PrincessBabyCat · 01/06/2014 00:17

It's just a shame you felt your arguments weren't sufficient without an insult thrown in.

You call my aunt and uncle horrible and that's not insulting, but calling you stupid is...

Pot meet kettle?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 10 11