to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

[BauerTime]

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

He was really hot clothed. Perfect body. After a few dates we went back to his but he took his top off and I could see very slight stubble from where he shaved his chest and it totally turned me off. I felt quite freaked out looking at it, no idea why. Made some excuse and fled.

LOL! I ran into my ex last summer and noticed his previously smooth chest was hairy. I was confused because I didn't know he could even grow hair there. He pointed out that he had to wax it because I told him before we even started dating that hairy chests were a deal breaker. They are.

DH has a smooth chest naturally. It's worked out for the best. :)

After every forkful of food he would lick his knife like a spoon and belch

It used to make me feel sick

Put a Roger Whittaker CD on in the car.

Cabbages YES! It was a spider plant. RIP

His dog was smelly.

His voice became really loud when we were in public to the point where everyone around us would stare, but was totally normal when alone.

He placed his ex-girlfriend's Christmas card centre stage on sideboard while mine was hidden at the back somewhere.

Both sat in my car on a frosty morning while I waited patiently for the windscreen to de-ice. He then reached across and switched on my wiper blades, causing them to break as they were frozen onto the window. Then he gave a cheery shrug and said "oops". Dear God how I managed not to punch him I will never know.......

His name rhymed with my name.

Ha! I once had a BF whose first and last name were virtually the same as mine. Clearly that relationship was always doomed.

Can I enter my Dsis in this contest? She dumped a guy because he didn't know what 'manichaean' means. She didn't know either, but declared she 'couldn't be with someone who didn't have a rich vocabulary'.

went out with someone who went and bought a full length leather jacket and turned up with his head shaved and wearing sunglasses. think he thought it was 'matrix' cool... but every time i looked at him all i could think of was a nazi gastapo agent

Also met someone, went back to his place and he had hundreds of pictures of fluffy kittens everywhere...they calmed him apparently

Turned up at cinema in loafers and white socks and a dodgy suit

Turned up at pub in white vest after I mentioned the Levis ad

Had spot cream and fake tan in his bathroo cupboard

Danced like a puppet

Wanted me to iron his shirts

Had a penis like an acorn

Pronounced fajitas like faj-it-as

Came on my leg prematurely and cried

Had a lighthouse shaped penis with a purple bellend

All different men, lucky me

He tapped a coin on the bar to get the barmaid's attention. I thought it was REALLY rude.

He smelled really weird. Not a bad smell, just something I didn't like - a little sour maybe. He was clean though, and a really nice guy, but I just could not get past the smell.

DPs natural smell is lovely.

A 6 hour shopping trip in London, to look for the same coat Dr Who wears. I was a fan before that, not so much after x

He turned up on our first official date in a woolly polo neck and ordered a vodka and coke. I was very young and this was actually my first date ever! He also was much shorter than I remembered.

A few years later I found out he was gay.

He asked me 'why do they never demonstrate the parachutes, in the demo on the plane?' I thought he was joking fool

I have a few......

One was dumped due to his horrendous dancing to 70s/80s tracks which involved him basically jogging on the spot whilst frantically chewing although he had nothing in his mouth

One had BO....enough said!

The worst one was opening one eye in the middle of the night to find a fairly rigid, although not very impressive penis in my face. He was sort of contorted round in bed so he could dangle his willy over my face. I have absolutely no idea what he was doing and was so shocked I pretended to be still asleep, before legging it in the morning. To make matters worse I was 18 and had only stayed over as I was a bit too tiddly to drive. We had only kissed once.

To the poster who mentioned the man with a flask and hi-vis vest in his car, my partner (yes, current) has an actual survival box.

He left a massive unflushable log in my toilet. Just wouldn't go away.

Standing at the cash point I noticed a huge globule of orange earwax just inside his ear. On the way back to the car we stopped at the bakery and bought apricot Danish pastries.

In the car he reached over to adjust the volume on the stereo and left an orange blob on it, which he claimed was apricot, but I knew was earwax.

That was it for me.

He took off his clothes and had a huge cock but the flattest arse I'd ever seen in my life. I got out of bed, put on my clothes and left without saying anything.

He shaved his beard off and went from George Michael to George from Rainbow in one fell swoop.

He cut off his ponytail (disclaimer: it was the early 90s).

He told me he loved me.

very very pretty - zero conversation

tiny penis

big penis but not a clue what to do with it

football

This might out me, but... As I got out of bed to pee, he said loudly 'mind you don't step on my Prada shoes'.
I hid in flatmate's room, whilst he got rid of him.

Oh, and lovely, gentlemanly first bf, for refusing to shag me in his best mate's little sister's bed. Which had Barbie sheets. I was pissed, he was sober. What a gent.

@ George from Rainbow.

He produce an ice cold Finger of Fudge in bed one night......

"no I don't fucking care whether Marianne Faithfull likes it..... get out"

I still giggle when I see one

Tight white trousers with dark briefs underneath...spotty ones people laughed at him as he walked into the pub, I necked the drink & made my excuses.

Terribly nice chap asking me politely whether I'd climaxed yet- I lied as I wanted to go to sleep & dumped him next day.We'd been going out for some weeks & he treated me like a princess , was very attentive & polite but BOOORRRING poor bloke.

Small willy. Large ego.

3 different blokes.

HAHAHAHA

I was fed up of coming second to trombone practise. He was 27 and we'd been together for years. I was having a rough time and rang to chat and was asked to wait until he'd finished practicing and watched a Question of Sport.

That was the end, I drowned my sorrows somewhere else.