Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

672 replies

BauerTime · 28/05/2014 17:05

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 28/05/2014 18:29

You lot have been out with some right weirdos. Grin

The only person I ever dumped was my ex h and not for trivial reasons either.

I did refuse to go out with someone on the basis that they said my thighs were squishy.

yellowdinosauragain · 28/05/2014 18:41

Simpsons boxer shorts. Just a massive massive turn off. I'd been quite up for it too but it was a total passion killer.

millionsofpeaches · 28/05/2014 18:41

He looked like the talking statue head puppet thing from art attack. Oh and he tried the old, "oh sorry is that the wrong hole?" thing during sex. Oh and he drove while drunk.

Why did I go out with him in the first place? He had a really, really big knob! (I'd already seen it due to him being a rugby player. Why do they always get naked in pubs? )

CabbagesAndKings · 28/05/2014 18:43

Jesus ooh I'm not sure...I went out with him when we were in our teens. He was normal at first but gradually it all came out, in the guise of a 'big secret' he had to tell me...also when he showed me his beautifully hand written 'vampire family tree' which he had mounted, tapestry like, on his wall. It had the normal names of his family along with their 'vampiric' names. For example 'John Smith' then in brackets LORD NIGHT TERROR.

He didn't last too long after that. He did watch a lot of Buffy but he liked Anne Rice etc too. And he used to be really chubby but I saw a FB pic of him recently and he's shaved his head and got a 6 pack. Going by what he had public, it seems like he still thinks he is a vampire.

Still wouldn't touch him with a bargepole

Smize · 28/05/2014 18:46

Went on a date with a handsome, rugged man who repeatedly applied Lypsyl that was worn to a point like a little old lady's lipstick. He then asked me if I liked his new trainers, which he proudly announced he'd bought from the women's section as he had such small feet ... Didn't hang around to see if small feet = small willy thing is true Grin

curiousuze · 28/05/2014 18:49

cabbages you are killing me! Grin tell me more!

mummytowillow · 28/05/2014 18:52

When he said 'suck me off' when we DTD for the first time! Not got a problem doing it, but the way he asked ewwww Blush

He also took me to his favourite 'restaurant' fecking Harry Ramsdens. The food was served on polystyrene plates!

GreatSoprendo · 28/05/2014 18:55

Because my flat mate said he reminded her of Lionel Richie. I just couldn't look at him the same way after that. Kept getting images of that clay head from 'Hello'......

ProfPlump · 28/05/2014 18:57

He killed my favourite pot plant when I went on holiday for a week and asked him to water it. I was stupidly attached to the pot plant. He was actually a great boyfriend in other ways... ooops.

CabbagesAndKings · 28/05/2014 18:58

smize

umm, well he had a sister who had moved away from home, and she came back to visit and I was invited round for a BBQ. He told me that I had to be really careful, because since the sister got her own place, she found it harder to control herself round humans.

Oh, and he had all these plans for the big night where I'd sneak out to meet him, so he could get into my knickers turn me into his immortal bride.

I actually went out with him for a good 3 weeks after he started on in this vein (excuse the pun) because my friends kept demanding more hilarious updates...

CabbagesAndKings · 28/05/2014 18:58

ProfPlum what sort of plant was it? I get attached to pot plants too...RIP Mr Spider Plant, 1997-2005

worriedabout · 28/05/2014 19:01

A guy who bought a mars bar to the theatre with him and a rucksack. It was just weird.

fairylea - DH tells a similar story about a girl whose legs just went on and on. Although he claims to be 5 foot 5 when he is standing really straight and with shoes on (every inch matters to sort people).

DocDaneeka · 28/05/2014 19:01

Because he liked Morrisey. And brought me a tape to listen to.

worriedabout · 28/05/2014 19:01

I meant short not sort

NickiFury · 28/05/2014 19:02

The first time I met him he was looking hot in a rugby shirt and jeans.

When he turned up for out first date he was all dressed in black, with eye make up and a dangly shark tooth earring in.

I was mortified. Got very drunk, fell asleep in the car on the way home and never heard from him again, thankfully!

mumtosome61 · 28/05/2014 19:10

Chewed his nails down to the quick
Drove his car like he was jerking off - gas on, gas off (never felt car sick before or since)
Genuinely felt his "prowess" (aherm) in the bedroom was worth telling everyone on a very early version of Facebook.
Lived a champagne lifestyle on a trainee teachers wage, but refused to admit he was a trainee and boasted to everyone that he was loaded (he wasn't).
THE WORST loser ever - he would regularly cheat in games with friends.

Oh, he was odious. And he felt for the next three years that the only reason I dumped him after two months was because I was "clearly confused" - those things on their own may have worked out, but combined....

I also decided to decline a second date with someone who called breasts "fun bags".

LuluJakey1 · 28/05/2014 19:11

4 different men. I would admit to being shallow about Number 1 but was justified with the rest, especially 3 and 4.

Wore a rust coloured polo neck jumper and pale blue cords to an Oasis gig- not cool

Wore cream leather slip on shoes with elasticated inserts - 30 going on 55

Blinked lots and kept his eyes shut when he spoke

Slept with his eyes open......WTF!

mumtosome61 · 28/05/2014 19:12

Oh and I dumped a boyfriend I'd been with for 7 months for repeatedly referring to his cock as "Mr Wang" - final straw was when he wrote me a poem and "Mr Wang" was the apparent author.

Whitewhine · 28/05/2014 19:12

I once travelled from Glasgow to London to spend a weekend with a guy I spoke a lot with through work (I booked a hotel for myself though!).

My heart sank when I saw him standing at Kings Cross with a red rose, whilst wearing white sports socks and black slip-on loafers. I ran past him to catch the next train back to Glasgow without even saying hello. Shock

I made up some excuse about not being able to make it but couldn't get in touch with him thankfully before the days of mobiles.

LuluJakey1 · 28/05/2014 19:17

And the one who asked me in for coffee on first date and showed me round his flat.
He shut he bedroom door when we got in there and turned the lights out. I asked WTF he was doing.
Turned out the room was decorated as a grotto, mountains and trees painted on walls, bits of net and rock stuck to walls, planets pained on ceiling and little lights twinkling. Fake grass on floor.
And it stank of damp!

Jenninlw · 28/05/2014 19:21

There were many when I was a serial dater in my younger years:

Teeny tiny willy

Too nice

Not good looking when I was sober

Annoying phone voice

Had a PhD

Are too much food

God I was picky!!!!!

LosBreakingBad · 28/05/2014 19:22

Insisted on watching Match of the Day. I hate football. Just hearing that music makes me shudder.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/05/2014 19:23

Cabbages Loving the vampire family tree Grin Did his name begin with 'C'?

LuluJakey1 · 28/05/2014 19:27

Held his knife like a pen. It drove me mad!!!!!!

CabbagesAndKings · 28/05/2014 19:28

His surname did, his first name began with L Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread