to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

[BauerTime]

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

The more I read here, the mote DH should realise he got lucky 'cos I almost dumped him as he's a rubbish dancer, really bad.

18+ years later he's still rubbish at it and has done several of the 'offences' listed here.

1 - turned up to meet me with his very ripped jeans held together with parcel tape, also didn't wash his hair and it smelled of vomit
2 - wore 'proper' shoes, brogues - made my violently ill
3 - very odd hot dog shaped penis, freaked me out
4 - hitec massive white trainers and black jeans - horror of horrors
5 - could not understand why his neighbours were so annoyed about his five peacocks, in his terraced house yard, waking them at 4 am every morning

A cheesy love letter/poem.

Bad teeth.

I did not phone him back! He got the message and started phoning my flatmates (I avoided answering the phone for a few days) who passed on his increasingly frantic messages to contact him. About a week later, under pressure from male flatmate, I did phone him back and when he suggested another date I said no, and when he suggested the following week said I was busy. He then said "Oh I see" and sent me a text telling me I was stuck up and things had been my fault as much as his!

He had moccasin slippers, rang his mother every day and, when I came downstairs wearing his shirt after a totally passionless night, asked me if I wouldn't like a nice warm flannel dressing gown. It was the middle of summer!

I thought it was trivial at the time and I was being shallow, definitely don't think that now: severe knob cheese shudders

He had masses of nasal hair - so much so that it tickled my nose when we had our first snog. Bleugh!

Needless to say, didn't snog him again!

So loving this thread.

#1 used my bathroom and when I went in after him discovered he'd used 8 cotton buds to clean his ears and they were all absolutely caked in horrid wax. Must have been the first time this decade he'd actually cleaned them out...

#2 text me in the afternoon before our second date to say "planning my outfit for tonight, shall I go Sussex Farmer or City Business man?" err...whatever, you'll be going alone sadly!

#3 came for dinner and turned up with a long poem declaring his love and the crystal glasses his parents had been given on their wedding day 30 years before 'for luck'. He insisted we drank out of them and toasted at every top up. It was a second date!

His family sang songs around a piano in the living room, whilst he played a tambourine I was expected to join in. I didn't.

Loving this thread! All different blokes:

Smelled constantly of cheese and onion crisps and liked to be wanked off in front of the rugby

Ate his crisps like a T-Rex

Bit my nipple really hard every time he ejaculated

Wombled on about his damaged wing mirror on the phone for half an hour (knew I had to get rid)

Shaved his arse cheeks

Started planning a holiday to Butlins for the Christmas the year after next on about the third date (it was summer)

Needle dick

Acorn dick

Pyramid dick

Bedclothes smelled of wee (student digs)

Luckily DH is normal!

Sloppy wet kisses..saliva running down my chin (yuk)
Bendy knob (another hot dog shape!)
Bendy legs (shallow I know)
A crumb of biscuit in his goatee
Making moaning noises when eating his fav food
Folding every item of clothing after taking them off (including his socks made into a knot)
Finding out he didn't like dogs and thought there was no problem with fois gras (was trying to explain the cruelty)
Oh god I could go on! Very happy with dh now!
Forgot to mention spunk that smelled of rotting fruit :-)

because the nuns had brainwashed me and I couldn't cope with seeing him any more after we started having lovely sex.

regretted it for years

have since apologised for being "too shy"

am now married (to someone else, natch) and not so bad now.

I dumped a guy for mooning my nan.

It was New Year and he was pretty drunk.

We've remained good friends, but nan still refers to him as 'the one with the arse'.

My ex was gorgeous but had a monobrow. I stopped seeing how gorgeous he was and all I could see was his eyebrow caterpillar. We broke up for a while and when we got back together I thought he was gorgeous again. Then I saw his monobrow and it all went wrong.
Also he used to grin at me during sex like he'd just told the funniest joke. Instant turn off.

Hair like a clown. Big bald top down to ear level and frizzy mop around the sides,

I kicked a guy out of my bed and made him go home in the middle of the night (college accommodation so not far!) because he was snoring.

DH is a silent sleeper

Ex Was a serial cheat, horrible person and treated me shit in general, but I didn't dump him for any of these things, oh no, I dumped him because he wanted me to wake DS up in order to go and pick him up. WAKE UP MY LOVELY SLEEPING BABY? Fuck off. Looking back it was probably just the straw that broke the camels back.

But properly petty from people I had dates with:

Had bushy eyebrows

Used the word retard

Looked like gok wan. Properly just like him. Didn't do it for me

Liked dance music

Told me I was his bolt of lightening (WTF? Off you go) then when I told him to do one he said "my bolt of lightning has shot me in the arse" I didn't shoot anything up his arse.

Lied about his age

Told me I was the love of his life after one date

Didn't like cats.

Used text talk

I LOVE this!!

TO the poster ^ who said about the weak chin - this would be a dea lbreaker for me too.... do not like a weak chin on a man

My most trivial reason.... I couldn't stand his shoes. They were his favourite pair and he wore them everywhere and I thought he looked like such an idiot in them. They would distract me!

Not a relationship as such but I couldn't see a guy again after he told me 'I can tell you haven't had children' - this was after we had slept together for the first only time

His idea of a good time was champagne-absinthe cocktails in a dubious bar in Soho with distinctly dodgy friends - every night. One night the 'green fairy' got off the tube at Kings Cross and said goodbye forever. To my knowledge he is still single.

'The one with the arse' :o

I dumped someone for giving me wine in a glass with milk stuck in the bottom. Now I'm not saying I've never drunk milk from a wineglass, and I'm not saying I wash up spotlessly 100% of the time but I could see whisps of milk floating in my Pinot and it tipped my half-arsedness with him over the edge.

For not walking at my pace. I'm a slow walker, and he would constantly walk just ahead of me to try to get me to speed up, or hold my hand and drag me along. I pointed it out to him and he still didn't stop, so I just dumped him.

Sausage roll penis...

Kept using the term 'serious alligator' with no explanation or consistent context..

He was a scruffy dirty looking builder (which I liked). Then he turned up to our first date looking clean and had ironed creases into his jeans which were so short they were ankle flappers. Killed it stone dead right there.