to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

[BauerTime]

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

I fold up crisp packets. It's a habit that was drilled into me at secondary school and one I haven't managed to break since...

Then I'm afraid we will never be in a relationship, smilesandpiles.

I'm heartbroken.

Cuppa?

Oh go on then.

This makes me feel so much better. In my youth, I dumped loads of guys for really spurious reasons, including:

One guy was allergic to my impulse. I was more attached to my body spray than I was to him.

Another because he never came to visit me at Uni. I always had to go and see him. When he stood me up one time, that was the final straw and I dumped him.

One poor lad for being a bit too keen.

One guy for being too shy.

One bloke because he banged his teeth together when he ate and clicked his toes. It annoyed me. However, it couldn't have annoyed me too much because we ended up getting back together and I am now married to him (and it still bloody annoys me!)

one was too fat and looked young(we were both 14)

one kissed like a washing machine.

one counted our relationship in weeks and every 4 weeks insisted on buying me a card. Then when I left him repeatedly showed up at my parents house with bunches of flowers.

tiny penis

was ID'd at a club

I had one that kissed like a goldfish.

I was 15 and dumped him because he smoked. Yuk, taste horrible to me.

Later on I dumped one bloke because he asked to kiss me and it was very chaste and inexpert.....

I see the 2nd cap around sometimes and still think I did the right thing in dumping him, even if it was rather trivial.

My poor hubby is reading over my shoulder and has just commented that there are a lot of small willy dumpings, uh oh I feel an awkward talk coming on tonight.

The trying to stroke a squirrel post has completely cracked me up!
Mine: all different blokes
small willy
Red shoes
Funny smelling spunk
I appeared to be allergic to his spunk, stung like hell.

His name - Cornelius

Too hairy

Drove a Morris Minor - I was a twatty fool for that one. He was gorgeous and the best kisser ever.

On our first date he showed me a newspaper cutting he kept in his wallet. It was a picture of a bride and how he wanted his future wife to look on their wedding day.

Four different men and many years ago now.

I remember DD at 19. She had dated a nice guy for several months. One evening they were in her room together. All of a sudden she marched him down the stairs and out of the front door slamming it behind him. "Blimey, what happened" I asked. "The prat told me he loved me" she said. Harsh

Poor sod. It's no wonder some men are so nervous now.

He said that real men wear pink

Complained about having a cold every couple of weeks, or if it was an in-between week, about "being tired" and would cancel dates on the day of the date because of this. Phoned him once and he said he was eating his dinner and I was to phone back later.

1. He couldn't understand what was going on in Pulp Fiction. At 1 point he whispered "I thought he just died". A small part of my 19 year old soul died and he was dumped

1. We were walking down the road he was trying to hail a taxi. He couldn't manage to get any drivers attention and I started to feel sorry for him. I realised I couldnt date anyone I felt sorry for.

1. I was dating a guy from college and I thought he was lovely. It turned out he never normally washed/showered/changed clothes and was only scrubbed up when I met him as his mates did it for him really. The longer we dated the more scruffy and gross he became and I mentioned it to one of his friends. The friend filled me in and I dumped the guy.

Happy days

Did you, Chelsy?

Oh God... that reminds me... I've dumped 2 due to having colds/flu/chest infections every other week!

He was way too tall at 6"8 to my 5ft!

He played guitar out of tune

I was 15, he was 18. I'd had a crush on him for months. Eventually he asked me if I'd like to babysit his sister with him one evening. Of course I thought this would mean we would be having a massive snog fest at the very least all evening.

He barely spoke to me the whole time, just answered yes or no to anything I said. No snogging or even hand holding. He walked me home (the longest 10 minute walk of my life) then when we got to my house he put his hands on my waist and moved in. "At last" I thought. I closed my eyes for the blissful moment. His lips clamped on to mine, firmly closed, he didn't move, just stood there holding my waist with his face fixed to mine. I moved my head a bit like I"d seen them do in the movies but he just stood completely still. Not sure what to do next I opened one eye - to see him with both eyes open staring at me, going slightly cross-eyed. I went indoors, shut the door and have never seen him from that day to this.

Another one took me to a swanky hotel for the night. It was going to be the first time we DTD. We entered the room, the lights were on low and he'd arranged for a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket. Lovely. He said he was just going to the bathroom, went in, closed the door, then suddenly I heard plop plop plop plop as he did a massive poo which seemed to go on forever. Instant turn-off. I grabbed my bag, crept out the door and ran like hell.

Oh no

Oh No.

Just oh god.

Toad dies inside quietly

I dumped someone for kissing with their eyes open. That's just weird, I had a sneaky peek that's how I know.

I went out with a French guy as a teenager. He turned up to take me out one night wearing red trousers. The horror!