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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

672 replies

BauerTime · 28/05/2014 17:05

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

OP posts:
AmazingDisgrace · 31/05/2014 00:18

It would Calamitously! I had pursued him for months as well! He was in a band (never made it big) and I had been obsessed with him until bogeyjar

flukeshot · 31/05/2014 00:18

He ordered camomile tea when we went out for a coffee. It put me right off.
Another one for wearing short shorts.
Another one for saying "heyyy" too much.
I'm nice really!

FatherDickByrne · 31/05/2014 04:49

He said 'sangwich'.

CruCru · 31/05/2014 10:04

I once had someone drool on me when we were having sex.

Panga63 · 31/05/2014 10:50

Just remembered another: his choice of post sex music was something that sounded like "Tubby the tuba" [hmmm] ANYTHING but that...

brokenhearted55a · 31/05/2014 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZacEfronsLeftBicep · 31/05/2014 14:14

This thread has had me in stitches!

The only one I can think of is a guy I dated with waist length blonde hair who was into his rock music. I was coming back from holiday and he had kindly offered to pick me up from the airport and bring me home. He knew what time the flight was arriving. Was shattered and waited for ages but he never turned up. Eventually got through to him on the phone. He was asleep and had just woken up (it was about 3pm in the afternoon). He said "oh yeah, okay I'll be there soon, I just need to wash and dry my hair first"(?!)

The airport was an hour drive from his house! Had to wait about 4 hours for him to get there from the point of that phonecall and he was absolutely unconcerned about it when he turned up like it was the most normal thing ever to do. (would have made other arrangements if I'd known!)

He was also constantly broke (had a job and lived rent free with his mum, but smoked loads, including weed and found the money for that). On our first date, he asked if I could "lend" him £5 to put petrol in his car. And money for a box of fags too (I didn't smoke, not that that's the point!).

His car never had more than £5 of petrol in it. He was constantly filling it up as he couldn't afford more than £5 at a time! He constantly ponced off his mother also.

What a catch eh!

BitchPeas · 31/05/2014 14:43

He was scared of crisps. And mayonaise. Shock

He wanted me to pay towards his mums mortgage, as I was taking him away from here Shock

Put his skid marked white boxers in the washing at my house Shock

He bragged he was number 3 in the world on the call of duty
Leader board. Hmm
He hid all my fridge magnets with men's names on Shock

All the same dude [shudder]

BitchPeas · 31/05/2014 14:44

*I was taking him away from her

Not here! Unfortunately! Grin

FriteFuaite · 31/05/2014 15:07

rembrandtsrockchick I dumped someone who said 'terminus' as 'ternimus' !! Also, 'provisional' for 'provincial' and 'watch the ditches' for 'wash the dishes' and he could not get the hang of how to compare things, everything was 'more easier' or 'more dearer' and on one memorable occasion, 'more betterer' his writing was horrendous, too.

Smilesandpiles · 31/05/2014 15:10

He wanted you to pay his mums mortgage?

Did I really just read that?

Seriously?

Oh my God!

Veins · 31/05/2014 15:18

He said 'sorry, I need to go I need a dump'. Actually, that still doesn't sound trivial 23 years later eeeeewwwww

BitchPeas · 31/05/2014 15:23

*I was taking him away from her

Not here! Unfortunately! Grin

BitchPeas · 31/05/2014 15:26

Don't know why that posted twice sorry!

But yes, not all of it, only £200, and if I didn't, he would pay it, and then I could reimburse him by paying for food/petrol/meals out/razors/hair gel etc etc it was quite reasonable you see. Hmm

Smilesandpiles · 31/05/2014 15:26

Jesus..

expatinscotland · 31/05/2014 17:59

Fussy eater. If on the first date he's hemming and hawing, oh I don't like spicy/rice/pasta/anything i sauce blah blah blah forget it. No date. No contact.

NeverFinishWhatYouStarted · 31/05/2014 20:43

Two more spring to mind:

  1. Called sex "being intimate" and left dreadful lovebites all over my neck and chest. He's happily settled down with another man now, so best for all concerned Grin
  1. Woke me up at 3 am knocking on my window, drunk, because he wanted to "be with" me. Burly builders from flat upstairs ran him off. I didn't go back to my flat for 2 days after that but when I did, there was a bunch of cheap flowers... ON MY BED!

He had bumped into my LL who bought his sob story and let him in to drop off the flowers. I was incandescent with rage at the pair of them and they both got the rough end of my tongue. And just to pile on injury, there was a huge brown spider in the flowers. I never saw him again, told him over the phone that he was toast.

darksideofthemooncup · 01/06/2014 01:02

I have thought of more:
First ever date: he called at my house and asked if I was in. I had answered the door.
Goth boy: Turned up to meet me at a club with all his shopping in sainsbos carrier bags and fussed over them all night. He also wore more make-up than me and would only wash one half of himself on consecutive nights. eg Monday was top half, tuesday bottom half etc etc
Dutch boy: Wore a waxed jacket and never took it off. Smelt weird.
Pretty grunge boy: Lied about his age and rubbed his fingers between his toes and then SMELLED HIS FINGERS
Utter Twat with no redeeming features: Chipped away at my self esteem, danced like a dick, wanted me to piss on him and gambled all our rent money away.
So many frogs

darksideofthemooncup · 01/06/2014 01:12

Oh and the one who was utterly beautiful. Right up until the day he came and sat on the loo to talk to me when I was having a bath.
Me:'Are you having a poo?'
Him: 'yeah. you don't mind do you?'
I never had sex with him again

Beavie · 01/06/2014 02:06

Because he had a shiny bald head that got really sweaty whilst we were having sex and it would drip all over me. Yuk.

sezamcgregor · 01/06/2014 02:58

Where to start!!

  1. Old man bottom
  2. Did not read books that were not footballers' autobiographies
  3. Licked his plate!
  4. Too eager for sex.
  5. ( and 6 and 7) Micro penises
  6. When finally got to speak to handsome man admired from afar, he wasn't how if fantasised him to be! Lucky as he was still in love with ex.
  7. Cut toe nails and left on carpet as he "assumed I was going to Hoover soon"! Over confident about his sex skills. Used parents cash, had no idea about budgeting the real world Told me he'd rather pay £1.50 for Halva than buy a Mars bar. He told me afterwards that he's dating a girl that's as attractive as me, but better educated. He also had BO and used thing without asking permission. Got mardy that I didn't orgasm the first time we had sex. I could go on forever about him fucking idiot Shame he was good in bed.....
10. Missing tooth. I just couldn't find him sexy
DogCalledRudis · 01/06/2014 09:40

We went to cinema and watched a war film. He understood it was sci-fi...

AnotherSpinningFuckingRainbow · 01/06/2014 13:51

Trying to stroke a squirrel just irritated me hugely! It's not a pet, it's a wild animal. He was a tool, think it was just one irritation of many.

Calling me the dog's name by mistake, we were only having a cuddle, not doing it doggystyle or anything, but it put me right off. He smelled of prawns down there anyway.

AnotherSpinningFuckingRainbow · 01/06/2014 13:52

One lied about his age (to make himself younger)

Another lied about his age (to make himself older)

notenoughwine · 01/06/2014 14:08

He insisted on folding up all empty crisp packets.

He had tiny testicles (or baby balls as I called them).

His willy was far too small.

His willy was far too big.

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