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Original poster

Totally freaked out over DD friend ( sensitive)

109 replies

ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 21:56

When I was pregnant with DD I lost her twin. I was around 9 weeks when I was bleeding heavy and passing clots and by the time I could have a scan it showed an empty sac. However I blocked this out for years as I was focused on the screen until they said we found a heartbeat.

That's the back story.

Dd now has a friend, He is her best friend and I have seen her sat talking to him. This has been going on for a while. However tonight she said Oliver ( which I picked for a boys name) was in mummy tummy with her.

I have never believed in spirits or ghost or anything like this, but this has freaked me out.

Could DD be right.

OP posts:
annebullin · 24/05/2014 22:19

I agree with worra. She has overheard something- perhaps when she was very small.

sexypantsformum · 24/05/2014 22:19

Does Oliver scare her? Or is he a good friend, comfort type thing?

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 22:19

When the time is right I will tell her.

I think what has spooked me out the most is the name.

OP posts:
QuizzicalCat · 24/05/2014 22:19

When I was two I told my mum that 'it was dark inside your tummy Mummy.'

She was freaked out.

A couple of months ago, walking through a cemetery, my two year old turned round to me and said (pointing at the ground) 'those people are sleeping' (looking up at no one) 'and the udder people are crying'. My dd had not been in a cemetery before, has never been to a funeral and I'm pretty certain they don't show them on CBeebies.

I am of the opinion that memory begins well before birth and children see more than we do because they are more receptive.

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 22:20

Oliver and her have a lot of fun together.

OP posts:
Aliceinvodkaland · 24/05/2014 22:22

she is right, she'll be talking to her lost twin, there's nothing wrong with it, just go with it

slithytove · 24/05/2014 22:22

I think it's entirely possible that on some level, she knows that she has a twin named Oliver. Twins have a special connection don't they. And how lovely if he is visiting her. I think kids have some sort of link to a different part of the brain that they lose as they grow up. I know when I was little and just talking and my brother arrived, I would talk to him about being in mummy's tummy. Can't remember it now though.

I hope that my eldest daughter visits her brother and sister :)

Sorry you lost your baby Flowers

LithaR · 24/05/2014 22:23

Don't know if I was ever a twin due to my mum not knowing about me till late in pregnancy. But I still have an imaginary sister of the same age. I used to think I was crazy until I discovered my mum not knowing till late.

As a lonely child I found it comforting that my sister was always with me.

sexypantsformum · 24/05/2014 22:24

Then personally I would find huge comfort in that.
I'd know it was just her overhearing something. But the fact that her friend, and my baby shared a name would give me a sence of completeness. She is now getting comfort from something horrendous, I think children see things we don't.
I'm not particularly woooo, but I think imagination and reality are blured until we learn to sensor our selves so we don't feel self conscious.

littledrummergirl · 24/05/2014 22:27

I think there is something in this. I dont think it is anything you need to worry about though.
There are many things that we dont know and are still at the very beginning of our understanding of physics.

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 22:28

I think I will just go with it.

If it is the baby I lost then he is welcomed in.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 24/05/2014 22:30

Dunno this is about you tbh.

If she's happy no issue. Ignore and might go away naturally, more you look freaked bigger the story will become.

Not enough here to be woo or otherwise. So far it's just a story.....

Writerwannabe83 · 24/05/2014 22:32

Things like this fascinate me. I wouldn't say I'm a believer in ghosts and spirits and things but it always amazes me when you hear twins talk about the strong power of connection they have with each other.

A family friend of mine had twins who were born at 36 weeks. The boy was well and was allowed home after a short stay in NICU but the little girl had a multitude of problems and was in hospital until she was 6 months old. When she was discharged she required oxygen, feeding through NG tubes etc. When the twins were 8 months old the little girl had to go to a hospital about 40 miles away to have a scan which the mother took her to whilst grandparents looked after the baby boy. The grandparents had said that the little boy had been no problem and then suddenly he had just started screaming and screaming, tears down his face and had been absolutely inconsolable. At the exact same time, 40 miles away, his sister had just died.

I really believe that in some way he felt it.

He is about to turn two years old in a few months and I genuinely believe that at some point he will start saying he senses his sister or something along those lines. His parents will obviously tell him about his sister when he is old enough to understand it but I just have a feeling he will mention it first in an innocent way like the OP's daughter has.

NeverTalksToStrangers · 24/05/2014 22:34

My sister lost a twin very early on in her pregnancy (years ago, DN is now 14) and at the time I mentioned it to a friend of mine. She told me that her brother also had a twin that miscarried and he went on to have an imaginary friend who was in mummy's tummy etc.

We used to watch out for it with DN as she was a very weird toddler - v cute and v random. If she mentioned a new friend I was like "is he/she here now??". She didn't have an imaginary friend though, to our knowledge though. Was a bit disappointed tbh.

Montegomongoose · 24/05/2014 22:37

Oliver and her have a lot of fun together

That's so lovely. I hope that brings you both comfort.

WorraLiberty · 24/05/2014 22:38

Also, if she's nearly 5 then I assume she was born in 2009?

Oliver topped the list for the most popular boys name in the UK that year

Therefore she is bound to have Olivers at school, as well as sets of twins.

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 22:42

Just looked through the sport day programme not 1 Oliver

OP posts:
annebullin · 24/05/2014 22:43

Does she watch the Oliver movie?

Aliceinvodkaland · 24/05/2014 22:44

worra are you coming from a scientific perspective?

Original poster
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/05/2014 22:46

Anne no she hasn't. If it isn't anything Disney princess or ponies then she doesn't want to watch it

OP posts:
Aliceinvodkaland · 24/05/2014 22:46

people will come on Isee and try to rationalise it, but sometimes you can't...

WorraLiberty · 24/05/2014 22:48

Alice I don't know, I'm just looking at it from my own perspective.

The most popular name in the whole of the UK during the year she was born and the fact there must be twins at her school.

That just sounds more likely than any other kind of 'spooky' scenario.

Aliceinvodkaland · 24/05/2014 22:50

so you're not open to 'spooky' then? fair enough if not but others see different things

WonderingAllowed · 24/05/2014 22:53

DD1 has often talked about seeing little sister and talking to her. She is 17 now and still 'sees' her out of the corner of her eye but a lot less now.

DD2 died as soon as she was born. DD1 (4 at the time) was at home being looked after a relative and at around the time that I gave birth, DD1 suddenly said 'my sister's gone now'. Relative did not know I had given birth at that time and was completely freaked out by it after she rang the hospital and spoke to my parents to find out that I had given birth and DD2 had died.

3 months after that happened, DD1 was seriously ill with peritonitis as her appendicitis was missed on 5 GP visits over 4 days! We were told to prepare for losing her too. When DD1 came around from her OP, the first thing she said was 'I saw my baby sister'.

I am a complete cynic and more scientifically minded but in the days after giving birth to DD2, I also felt strongly that 'someone' was watching me and a 'presence', put it down to grief though.

PrimalLass · 24/05/2014 22:54

Twiny feelings are very strong. Look on it as comfort for her.