To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

[Sneezecakesmum]

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

Anyone trying to swim lengths in the learner poolside our local pool would be asked to leave.

You cannot kick someone on purpose with breaststroke and carry on swimming

You can if you're doing it wrong. She was obviously doing the stroke wrong if she was flailing her limbs out. You should be able to fit two people doing the breast stroke in the same lane going back and forth with no problem.

But more to the point, it sounds like she used her foot to push than to kick. She was probably being lazy and used your child's body to propel off of thinking it was yours. It's not like it was a karate kick where it had momentum to make contact for maximum damage.

You got knocked back a few inches. Big deal. If I accidentally pushed a bit with my legs while swimming I really wouldn't think too much of it.

She should have waited until the big pool opened up if she really required an entire lane's worth of room to swim in though.

But really, you're over reacting. A little push isn't worth the frustration anymore than accidentally getting bumped into on the sidewalk.

It wasn't a little push. It was a forceful kick. I was actually there. She made contact 3 times because she was entitled.

Should we all just accept that bullying people can get away with it? Just let them carry on and maybe kick a baby in the head?

The pool was 1.1 metre deep through the whole pool. It's a pool where the floor goes up and down! V high tech!

It was a designated learner pool. In those circumstances regular strong swimmers should take more care of learners!

I will write the letter because she made contact (one very hard) three times and yet carried on. It's not the apology even it's the fact that she felt she could bully her way through the pool hurting small children in the process.

It's when people like me and DD accept they can be treated like this that allows bullies to get away with it.

If a park runner had elbowed your child in the chest or face and continued without acknowledgement or apology because they owned the park, any normal person would let that go unchallenged.

Sometime you have to make a stand, especially as we intend to go swimming in the same pool.

The attendants can then monitor a persons swimming in the learner pool and ask for more consideration. A letter may prompt them to do that.

To the best of my knowledge I have not written she did it deliberately princess. Just showed complete lack of care for other pool users.

That happens in swimming pools all the time, particularly if they're very crowded. It is annoying, but in this case the fault lies with the pool managers I think. Normally there are lanes for strong swimmers and a section for people who want to swim slowly or do exercises.
Also, didn't read all 9 pages of the thread but were you standing in the middle of the pool while people were swimming up and down, as opposed to at the edge?

The fish is getting bigger
Started of one touch that didnt hurt child , now 3 very forceful kicks

Summer it wasn't crowded. Around 20 adults and children. Plenty of room to avoid a child. I was in the middle of the pool as were other parents and children.

Surely the onus is on the person who can see the obstruction rather than someone with their back to you?

We were in the learner pool as the big one with lanes had a school gala in. So we were in the right area and I think she may have been miffed that she couldn't swim in the big pool because it was full of annoying schoolchildren!

I think you are suffering from recall bias brufen. I hope you've heard of that expression? I said two minor contacts and one forceful kick to a child chest with a leg/foot. I've said that throughout. You need to learn competent reading too.

I am writing to the management precisely because children in the learner pool should take priority and the pool attendants should be aware of this.

I've looked up the address to write to and the pool description describes it as such:

These facilities are for people with profound and multiple learning disabilities, as well as other serious impairments including spinal injuries or acquired brain injury

Obviously for other users too but with superb facilities for the above and therefore they need to be made aware of the selfish actions of some of the pool users and it's impact on disabled and able bodied children and adults.

Why did you put this in aibu if you dont think you are?
All this sounds like it was an accident not deliberate, which from your title makes it sounds like it was done on purpose.
Things like this happen in pools.they're also very noisy so there is a chance she apologised and you never even heard it.

You are right to complain in that lane swimmers should not be able to swim lanes in the learner pool if the main pool was closed, they should be told "I am sorry but the pool is closed for lane swimming, due to a swimming gala only the learner pool is open, and it is not suitable for lane swimming".

Owlcapone? Bruffin? Any further insights?

Agree with Quintessentially

I agree with Quint If the main pool was closed for a gala they should not have let people who wanted to swim lengths simply transfer to the learner pool. The fault was definitely with Management - but the woman herself should also have exercised a bit of cop on and just missed her swim that day.

Kali. When someone apologises they are not swimming away from you. Makes an apology pointless in the extreme if it can't be heard. She didn't apologise to me or to DD.

If a pool is designated a learner pool and there is an emphasis on disabled children and adults (DGS having an acquired brain injury) surely a reasonable person would use care. Obviously not judging by some of the responses here. Luckily some good advice (letter to management) and reasonable and supportive people.

I've also checked the pool opening times and pool schedule. It says clearly when the laned pool is open for swimmers. She obviously didn't bother or arrived as it was closing and diverting to the learner pool, which was when we arrived.

Agree with Quint -If you're going to complain, complain about the poor management, not the lady which will make you sound ridiculous-

Management, or the lifeguards should have been able to ask her to leave the learner pool if she was using it for lane swimming.

You dont know she didnt apologise though. Whilst i would have stopped if i wasnt in the deep end and apologised, some will just shout out sorry. My point is you may not have heard and that this was a complete accident.

ProudAS Sat 24-May-14 15:44:03
I don't think I "own" the pool where I swim but I do think it reasonable for recreational swimmers to give way to those of us doing lengths

I'm curious? Why should people give way to you?
I assume you have paid the same to go in the pool, just like everyone else?
So why should you get preferential treatment from the other paying people?

It makes no difference to what you are doing in the pool. Everyone has paid for entry, so everyone has as much right to use the pool in the way they feel fit - so long as it isn't breaking the pool's rules.

As for the kicking incident. Even if it was an accident, of course the woman should have apologised. Most decent people would be horrified at kicking a young child - and yes, especially a disabled child I would have thought - even if not intended.

I am stunned at how many people seem to think that the woman was in the right

Me too Hula

Kali. She didn't apologise to me or DD. She didn't stop. She didn't acknowledge us. She didn't shout, it wasn't that noise. You can't shout when you are continue to breast stroke. I was there I am certain of this. There was no deep end. It is 1.1 metre through the whole pool. I've never said it was deliberate, just arrogantly dismissive of us and our safety. A small child would have been knocked over and under the water. But that's ok apparently.

I never said people should give way to me? I would have got out of the way (I did for others) but I haven't got eyes in the back of my head! She could see me, I couldn't see her.

Surely the fact that it's a learner pool should put the onus on swimmers to take care around children and move around them anyway?

Me too Hula. I am stunned that people think I should have seen someone swimming behind me and dodge out of the way (difficult with an awkward to hold 5 year old) rather than the person swimming in a learner pool.

Completely

I strongly suspect the pools rules would be that lane swimmers in the learner pool should take care around children.

I don't think what the woman did was right but that she may have apologised it hard to be heard at the swimming baths! Also that from title it seemed that this woman did on purpose when it was an accident, she may not have even realised she kicked a child, either way she should have apologised.
Op not saying yours was deep, i was saying if it was me i would have stopped and apologised however if it was the deep end i too would have to just shout as id probably end up drowning if id stopped and apologised.

She didn't do it on purpose, just simply didn't care who she hit as we were in her way. She did not apologise. She actually gave DD a filthy look when she hit her too. DD was expecting any apology as it's the norm but definitely none. Unless she said it underwater which wouldn't count!

The pool is a high tech one with an adjustable floor. The depth was 1.1 metres the whole length. There was a big red neon sign saying it so I was standing when she hit DGS and me.

Why are so many people determined to excuse the inexcusable? .

I will write a letter for the benefit of other learner pool users more than for us.