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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

315 replies

Sneezecakesmum · 24/05/2014 13:40

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool Angry

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

OP posts:
bruffin · 25/05/2014 16:21

I dont think i have called her a liar. I think she is being a drama queen and exageratingHer grandchild didnt even cry, nor has she mentioned he was upset afterwards. The whole thing is a mountain out of a molehill.

PrimalLass · 26/05/2014 10:49

Not all adults like children, let alone "will care for them and not hurt them and if they accidentally hurt them they will say sorry". That's not a realistic expectation for a human adult

Really?

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 12:53

OP, I'm confused. Do you think she kicked your grandson by accident or deliberately? Your original post comes across as being very angry and aggressive - "dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!",
"AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? " that kind of aggression implies you think it was on purpose. Later on though you said you're not saying she did it deliberately yet you still want to "rip her head off". Confused Bit of an overreaction for something that you acknowledge may very well have been an accident. If somebody accidentally knocks into you on the street do you want to "rip their head off" too? You sound scary. I hope I don't ever bump into you.

Also re: swimming pools, I go swimming regularly. I have been kicked by other swimmers in the pool quite a few times, I myself have also accidentally kicked other swimmers - that's just to be expected with moving limbs near other people. When this happens it's not really the 'done' thing to stop and apologise, everyone just continues swimming because like I said it's just the sort of thing you expect when swimming in close proximity to other people and also it's not really practical to keep stopping and apologising every time you accidentally hit someone.

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 13:03

No. I would not have bothered if she had kicked me (she did lightly) or DD who she also kicked lightly. My outrage is that someone feels entitled to kick a small vulnerable child, in a learner pool, not apologise or acknowledge that and they were not pulled up about it.

But I thought you said yourself that it was an accident? That's what you said in your post yesterday at 12:09:00 yet here you've said that you wouldn't mind so much if it was you she'd kicked or DD but it's the fact she'd kicked your small vulnerable child and that she felt "entitled" to do that. Which is it - was it accident or did she feel entitled to kick a small vulnerable child? It can't be both.

Why are you so outraged over an accident? Why do you insist that she thinks she owns the pool and is entitled because of an accident? Confused Is it the fact she didn't apologise? Because your posts have been more fixated on the fact she kicked him rather than the apology. How do you know she thinks she owns the pool? Are you a mind reader?

Re: apologies, I swim regularly and have been kicked and have kicked other people because that's just what happens. Nobody stops to apologise because that wouldn't really be practical - if it happens when you're close to the side of the pool people might apologise however if it's in the middle people generally don't.

Alpacacino · 26/05/2014 14:39

What a horrible, horrible thread! Why is the OP's language in her initial post being over analysed? To prove what point exactly?

Why is it not legitimate for her to vent her (legitimate!) anger in this way - this is being done all over mumsnet!

I cannot believe that there is so little empathy with the OP's DGS; and so little understanding of how you feel as a mum or grandmother when your child gets hurt in such a way.

it was the woman's duty to be considerate to other people in the pool, very obviously so. She wasn't. It's good - and brave! - of the OP to write to the management that there need to be clearer rules.

Shutup, Owl, etc - calm down, dears.

salsmum · 26/05/2014 14:54

Sneezecakesmum; try and find out if you can get access to a hydrotherapy pool near you...I find with my DD being disabled that she gets cold quickly and Hydro is better for their muscles because the water is slightly warmer...I KWYM about SOME lane swimmers but in a small hydro pool not only can you meet other parents/kids but you can stay safe too.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 16:05

sneeze you are clearly in the right and this woman was obviously an ignorant pig. Much like all the posters ripping you to pieces on here for no discernable reason. If you kick someone by accident in a pool you APOLOGISE. Profusely.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 26/05/2014 16:16

mrscripps are you on glue ???

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 18:17

Alpacacino there is really no need for me to "calm down" as I was never uncalm in the first place.

I do think the OP is unnecessarily angry. If anyone needs to calm down it's her. The OP admits herself that it was most probably just an accident (though tbh, it's hard to tell as she seems to contradict herself a lot) yet she seems very angry and aggressive for someone who believes it was an accident. Unless Alpacacino you believe it's acceptable to wish you'd "ripped someone's head off" over an accident?

fluffyfanjo · 26/05/2014 19:13

No. I would not have bothered if she had kicked me (she did lightly) or DD who she also kicked lightly. My outrage is that someone feels entitled to kick a small vulnerable child, in a learner pool, not apologise or acknowledge that and they were not pulled up about it.

So she managed to kick your DD,yourself and DGS (that you were holding)? Are you sure it wasn't an octopus ?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 19:16

You'd be angry too if some swimmer kicked your family 3 times and didn't even have the common decency to apologise. Confused

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 19:17

Fluffy she has explained very clearly how they were kicked

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 19:45

You'd be angry too if some swimmer kicked your family 3 times and didn't even have the common decency to apologise.

Not really, I'm not an angry person. I've had people do far worse to me than kick me in a swimming pool but I'm not angry at them Smile.

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 19:45

Are you sure it wasn't an octopus ?

Grin
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 19:50

shutup oh so you expect everyone else to be as ludicrously laid back as you?

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 19:55

space you need to calm down dear, it's not the end of the world Smile. Have a nice cup of tea.

I'm a very forgiving person, probably too forgiving.

I sincerely hope nobody rips my head off next time I'm in the pool. That would be awkward.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 20:01

shutup if you freely admit to being 'too forgiving', then why are you giving OP a hard time? Standing up for your family is hardly overreacting

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 20:25

Because I don't think it's acceptable to want to rip someone's head off or lay into them or any of the other things the OP wanted to do to that woman for a mere accident (I say it was an accident because the OP admitted herself that she probably didn't do it deliberately and was most likely an accident and speaking from experience as a swimmer, getting kicked/being kicked is not unusual).

I do find her posts very aggressive and over the top. She has admitted several times throughout the thread that it was probably an accident, yet the OP still wants to "rip her head off", accused her of being "entitled", "entitled to kick a vulnerable disabled child" and a "bully" and has also jumped to loads of other conclusions about this woman with nothing to back them up simply because of a mere accident! Hmm The woman should have apologised, if she couldn't have done it then, then she could have done it when she'd reached the end however the OP has said she wasn't bothered about the not apologising bit, it was the kick she was angry about. Still, that's a lot of anger and aggression over something that has a good chance of being an accident.

I'm going swimming tomorrow. I'm also disabled (although my difficulties aren't always obvious) and if someone kicks me, even if by accident, I shall make a point of ripping their head off.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 20:41

She didn't ACTUALLY want to rip her head off you know. It's a figure of speech. Honestly, what a fuss. Hmm

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 20:51

Well I think you've missed my point completely a bit but never mind. Now go have that cup of tea and relax for a bit.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 21:11

Yes, of course,i'm the one who cannot grasp a point and needs to calm down. Hmm. Okaaay

MrsCripps · 26/05/2014 21:28

No not on glue.
Am sensible enough to know that if someone is swimming lengths up and down the pool you don't stand in the way just to make your passive aggressive point thus exposing your DGC to the risk of being kicked .

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 21:30

I'm glad you agree space Smile

You know the more I talk to you the more I like you.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 21:32

Hehehehe

ShutUpShouty · 26/05/2014 21:33
Smile
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