To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

[Sneezecakesmum]

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

[ComposHat]

Threads like this reqlly rip my knitting.

op sets out their position.

Told she is nbu (because she isn't)

Several pages of posters saying YANBU.

Some contrary buggers get bored of page after page of yanbu and start reading all kinds of stuff that isn't in the thread/projecting all kind of nonsense, just so they can declare yabu.

A self righteous twat like me turns up and shakes their head and declares that this shows Mumsnet in its worst light.

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Ay well said Compos

[bruffin]

"Several pages of posters saying YANBU."

Except there wasnt several pages of posters saying YANBU

[Softlysoftlycatchymonkey]

so where would you stand then mrscripps ? Would you just cling to the wall if people were belting up and down?

If your in lane swimming, then that's what you should be doing. If your in the free swim side then nobody owns it.

[auntjane2]

The sensible thing to do would have been to have had a word with the lifeguards about her behaviour. The lifeguards are supposed to be watching the pool, would know whether "the middle aged woman's" swimming is habitually so dangerous to other people and would be able to speak to her sensibly to suggest how she might change her behaviour.

[IceBeing]

wow MN...just wow.

If I kicked anyone for any reason in a pool I would apologise.

It is that simple really....

YANBU.

No idea why people are so invested in the idea of finding something wrong with you, the pool, your care of your DGS or anything else...guess they must have very boring lives...or it must be half term or something.

[ComposHat]

No idea why people are so invested in the idea of finding something wrong with you, the pool, your care of your DGS or anything else...guess they must have very boring lives...or it must be half term or something.

Brings out their inner Columbo I guess... the OP must be proved wrong by any means foul or fair.

Yes, even if it was an accident, not stopping to check the poor kid was okay and to apologise is callous in the extreme. I can't stand it when people show no consideration for those around them, it is particularly prevalent round here with joggers running on busy pavements. They just want to plough on at the same pace in a dead straight line and woe betide anyone who gets in their way. If you are running or swimming in a public area, there are going to be times when you'll need to slow down or alter your course to accommodate others.

[bruffin]

The swimmer would not have been able to kick OP unless she was already passed her and facing away from her, which why the OPs insistance that she must have known she had kicked doesnt make sense.

[ComposHat]

It doesn't matter what way the Op was facing. If you strike out with your feet in the water and hit something solid, it doesn't take Einstein to work out that you've kicked someone.

[ProudAS]

Unless you've got nerve problems like a PP on thus thread

[ScrambledSmegs]

Since when was it ever ok to kick someone when swimming? Is it really considered normal and the fault of the kickee for getting in the way? Even if that person is a young child?

I am utterly amazed at the sheer unpleasantness of humanity, sometimes.

[sunshinecity17]

' really rip my knitting;

love it.love it love it!!!

[sunshinecity17]

Oh FGS this has gone on long enough.Suck it up,Buttercup!
You get kicked at swimming.Often.
Sometimes the swimmer misjudges the separation, sometimes someone moves into their path and there isn't time to take avertive action.Sometimes it is a bit of both.I don't know wjat happened here, you don't know what happened here, I doubt even the OP knows what happened.
99.9 % of people accept that it is an occupational hazard of going swimming .get over it.

[MotorLoo]

yanbu op. You sound perfectly sane and reasonable to me. I'm completely at the comments people are making against you. So what if wanting to rip her head off is a bit ott? Obviously you aren't literally going to rip her head off. ffs, can't people understand that you were holding a vulnerable, physically weak little boy who was hurt by someone who should know better - of course accidents happen but not apologising is so awful. Ok, she may have been short sighted or whatever but she would've felt the impaxtr. And how can.people compare it to stubbing a toe or grazing another adult swimmer? This thread is bonkers, honestly. Op, you have every right to be shocked, upset and angry .

[shockinglybadteacher]

But it was an accident! You'd be an arse not to apologise if you realised what you had done (not always clear in crowded pool), but it's an arsey thing like being in a hurry and bumping into someone then speeding off. Not an evil thing like deliberately and viciously taking aim and kicking a disabled child in the chest, which is what some people are making it out like.

And yeah, I don't think it's a great idea to teach a small child that adults all want to care for him and be kind to him and will always apologise if they hurt him in any way. In an ideal world they would. But we do not live in an ideal world and while this woman was just inattentive and rude, we know there are adults out there with rather more malign intent. I reckon teaching children in effect to trust everyone they meet unconditionally because all adults want what's best for them, in view of this fact, is an error.

[FryOneFatManic]

I totally agree with ComposHat. If you kick someone in the water, you know you've done it, and approximately how hard. Even if you'd passed someone and kicked out behind. So you apologise.

I went swimming last night. I accidentally kicked someone and apologised. I got kicked and they apologised to me.

It's not rocket science.

[Pagwatch]

Is this the bit where people rock up moaning how long this has been going on and post a 'fgs, op it is obvious that....and therefore...' attempt at a

Is this still going on?

[Sneezecakesmum]

I did hide this thread and am surprised it has continued in my absence, but I was sick of being called a liar, a drama queen, my account of the incident being called into question and the final straw was being told not all people like children and they should expect to be kicked by a thoughtless adult if said adult was that way inclined. (And this is called mumsnet?!)

Lots of decent replies though and people not determined to rip me to shreds for being upset at the incident.

I took the advice of a poster and emailed the pool manager and guess what. The phenomenon lane rage is well recognised!

Now I understand where all the aggression towards me was coming from. It was a dry land example of lane rage directed at someone who objected to a child being hurt. I now understand all you lane ragers need to stick together and tear into someone who stands up to you.

Luckily the pool manager also informed me that he has personally had to reprimand swimmers behaving in this way, and we were just unfortunate to have been subjected to lane rage and were subjected to a 'kick' (not deliberate as I have said many times but with complete disregard or care as to whether anyone was kicked in the process of this woman's bully boy tactics, including a small child).

Email .....

Regarding the incident with the swimmer I am sorry this was the case and undoubtedly spoiled your session to an extent. As you pointed out contact with other bathers does happen and we find for the most part this is unintentional and all parties are genuinely apologetic and try to be courteous swimmers. However there are exceptions and it seems you were possibly the unfortunate victim of a phenomenon coined as ‘lane rage’ in my experience of dealing with this type of incident it is often people who would normally behave in a very respectful way to others that seem to get frustrated whilst swimming and kick, slap, ram or splash others who are in their immediate vicinity

Please do not continue with this thread. I now feel supported in RL by the people that matter and will never allow anyone to treat us in this way again.

[Sneezecakesmum]

to the reasonable people that were supportive and the lady who said email! Feeling much happier with things now. Xxxx

The rest of you can get on your

[InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream]

Good for you Sneeze. Ignore all the burks.

[InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream]

Or is it berk? Whatever

[mercibucket]

Wow what a long and angry thread.

[herecomesthesunlala]

So you, your GS and DD were all kicked? Sounds like you were all getting in the way! If you are going to just stand there with a child, stand to the side!

She should have said sorry though, I think most people would (if they hit a stationary person, not if the other person was swimming too though)

[Sneezecakesmum]

For the hundredth time I was facing away from her. She came up behind me! DD was standing at the pool edge with a baby in her arms.

The only one who knew she was there was her. Do you expect DD to scramble out of her way? It was a shallow learner pool!

God forbid that she should have swum around us.

[herecomesthesunlala]

It's a bit hypercritical to say that she should be looking where she was going when she was the one SWIMMING in the pool, making looking around difficult, and yet it's ok for you not to be looking when you were just standing around? Did you not hear her coming up behind you, really? Or were you just being annoying and refusing to move, but feel free to moan when you get accidentaly kicked?