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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just ignore the school and proceed with the prearranged times?

110 replies

extremepie · 23/05/2014 14:45

Posted on here a few times before about Ds' school but here's a quick recap:

Ds2 has ASD and is currently on a part time timetable due to him and the school not coping with a full day.

The agreement, as has been discussed many times at various TAF/TAC meetings was that his school day should be extended by 5 minutes a week so that he should be attending full time by the time the summer holidays start.

There have been some lateness issues on my part, not quite getting there on time for pick ups and the school agreed that as long as I was on time, his school day would keep extending.

Since at least Easter I have been making a real hard effort to be on time every day but so far his school day has still not extended past 2pm!

I'm getting really irritated with this now as after all my efforts to improve my timekeeping it has not made any difference and I'm even more annoyed that Ds continues to miss out on a full day of school because they refuse to keep to the agreement!

I also suspect that part of the real reason they won't extend it is because they would rather allocate his 1:1 worker elsewhere in the afternoons and him leaving school early makes this easier for them :(

Wibu to just pick him up at 2:15 when they go back after half term, (as that is the time he should have been up to if they had stuck to the agreement,) instead of 2pm? And then to just increase the time by 5 minutes a week regardless of what they say?

OP posts:
jellymcsmelly · 23/05/2014 15:23

I live on a notorious road for traffic snarl ups. I have never, ever been late to collect the children due to traffic. I aim to be at the school 30 minutes early, and so if there is a hold-up, I am not late. Likewise, they are never late to school as I aim for when the gates open not when class goes in.

It is a pain in the neck, and a waste of time, but if you have a traffic dependent journey, you have to factor possible delays into your journey time.

The only time I have been late to collect, I was on the exit ramp of a car park building, with several cars behind me (more than an hour before the end of school) when the car in front broke down. No way I could go forward or back, but did manage to call the school while I waited. That is unavoidable.

jellymcsmelly · 23/05/2014 15:26

OK - just seen your post about buses - I also often take the bus on my traffic-snarled road (paradise, round here, I tell you!).

It is the same principle. If you allow enough time, you can have an army of slow moving old people, a jungle of road works, and still get to school on time. All bar extreme emergencies are within your control.

On a good day, with a fair sky and a following wind, I should be able to get from home to the school in 20 minutes. School finishes at 3:20. I leave home at 2:30 pm. I am never late. I am often early and bored, but that is what a good book is for.

BackforGood · 23/05/2014 15:27

Is it just me that thinks this is a bit of an impractical arrangement - who is supposed to be keeping an exact eye on all these time changes? How is the teacher supposed to provide a meaningful lesson if he's there for different fractions of it ? Confused
Surely it would have made more sense to say :
Stay until after you've eaten lunch for week 1
After lunchtime play for week 3
end of first afternoon lesson for week 6
etc. - so there is a reason / something to be gained for him staying the extra time ?

But, in answer to your question - you need to speak to the school about what they agreed to, and if they are not keeping to it, then you contact your Lead Person / Key Worker to advocate for you.
However, you also need to be there at the right time.

Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 15:48

Sorry jelly but I can't get on the bus earlier just in case it gets stuck in traffic, they only run once an hour and are notoriously bad for being late - I don't have time to get everything I need to do done if I do that!

OP posts:
Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 15:50

Back, it did seem a bit of a silly arrangement to me too but that's what the school were happy with so that's what was agreed upon - I have kept my part of it, they haven't :(

OP posts:
fairylightsintheloft · 23/05/2014 15:54

OP I'm sorry but if they are notorious for being late then surely that's all the more reason to get the hour earlier bus? You'll just have to juggle other things to get them done after pick up or on the weekends. Being on time must be the priority.

Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 16:05

No I'm sorry but the time they are at school is the only time I get to myself for various reasons - as it is I get the 12:30 bus for a 2pm pick up, I'm not going to get a bus at 11:30 as it will mean I will have less than 2hours to do everything I might want to do that I cannot do after school or at the weekend when the kids are with me. Sorry but it's just ridiculous for me to take 2.5hrs to get to a school 4 miles away just because I am occasionally late!

OP posts:
nancy75 · 23/05/2014 16:12

Your attitude to being late is very bad, if getting the earlier bus is the only way you can be on time then get the earlier bus.

Canthisonebeused · 23/05/2014 16:15

This is ridiculous they have agreed to meet your ds educational needs, they are failing by excluding him every afternoon. Which I'm pretty sure is illegal. Is there any specialist schooling in your area or a school with an attached nurture group? If so ai would insist that he is accommodated in a local nurture group with transport for the times the school are unwilling to accommodate him.

Canthisonebeused · 23/05/2014 16:17

I don't think OPs attitude is bad at all, she has made an effort and already gets a bus 1.5 hours before pick up time. The LA need sort this out. Have you requested transport OP?

Minionionionion · 23/05/2014 16:18

Just a note on the buses, wouldn't it be easier to walk? 4 miles isn't far?

That way you are only reliant upon yourself? Or cycle and walk home with DS?

BookieTubules · 23/05/2014 16:18

If you're already allowing an hour and a half to travel four miles: do you have a bike? Do you have health problems that would prevent you walking this? You could do that quicker! You also need to talk to the school (find out why they haven't extended his time as agreed - there could be important reasons for this).

insanityscatching · 23/05/2014 16:19

Tbh Extreme I would just write informing the school that you will be picking ds up at the end of the school day, that way you won't be late catching the bus that you catch now. If you contact IPSEA they will advise you on how the school are failing to provide what they legally should be and how to ensure the part time hours are stopped. If you don't have a copy of the statement then contact the LA and ask them to email you a copy and all appendices and discuss these too with IPSEA.

Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 16:23

Why doesn't everyone stop concentrating on the fact that I WAS late IN THE PAST occasionally and focus on the fact that the school is NOT adhering to an agreement put in place with the advise of the educational psychologist and social worker for the benefit of my son?

Can we also bear in mind it is very likely that my lateness is actually a bit of a red herring and actually is a catch all excuse for the school to continue to not provide my son with the full time education he is entitled to and allocate the 1:1 specifically provided for him and paid for by the government, in accordance with his statement (which is a legal document), to another activity within the school?

Can we also bear in mind that I have been fighting with the school for over a year to get his school day extended and therefore it is more than slightly frustrating to me than now we FINALLY have an agreement in place they are not sticking to it?

OP posts:
needabitofsleep · 23/05/2014 16:23

Re addressing the lateness, I was also going to suggest walking - 4 miles would only take an hour or so compared to the 1.5 hours plus the bus seems to take

Canthisonebeused · 23/05/2014 16:23

www.ipsea.org.uk
hope you don't mind me adding the link insanity

needabitofsleep · 23/05/2014 16:24

Sorry, cross posted. But it seemed from your original post that your lateness was the reason they were reluctant to change from the existing arrangement to the new one; I guess that's why people are referring to it

Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 16:25

Sorry that was to everyone who's continually moaning about the lateness :D

OP posts:
Dosydoly · 23/05/2014 16:26

An hour and a half for a two mile bus journey? Have a misunderstood that?

Dosydoly · 23/05/2014 16:27

Sorry 4 miles, but still!

rumbleinthrjungle · 23/05/2014 16:30

He's 6, he's at statutory school age, it's not ok that school are not providing him with full time education. Ring the LA switchboard and ask to speak to the SEN officer for your area, and tell them you are concerned your six year old, on a statement, is not being allowed to attend school full time. That's something they need to know, and which should be able to take up with the school on your behalf.

You can also speak to your LA parent advocacy service (you may have met them during the statementing process? The county have to fund one) who will support you and know about the legal entitlement of your child to attend full time.

Lateness is completely irrelevant, this is about your son's entitlement to education. If he and school really can't cope with each other then they and the LA need to be talking with you about finding him better provision, not just sending him home early.

Original poster
extremepie · 23/05/2014 16:31

No the lateness had nothing to do with them not extending it before, they didn't extend it before because the school felt that they he could not cope with a full school day and it was only when the ed psych stepped in and said actually we need to start trying to increase his time in school that this agreement was put in place.

They have also agreed to increase his time in the classroom with the other children because he was mostly doing his lessons in the library on his own :/

Also, sorry should probably clarify, I now live very close to the school so the only time I would need to catch the bus is if I happened to be in the town centre to do shopping, etc so usually I don't need to catch the bus :)

OP posts:
LIZS · 23/05/2014 16:33

Surely if he is on a different timetable to other children then you should be having regular reviews with teacher/SECO et al about how he is coping and the next step. When did you last have a discussion . Have they ever highlighted your past morning tardiness as a problem or is that your assumption. It isn't going to work if you just show up at 2:15 and he/they are waiting for you for 15 minutes , that will just upset him . tbh there isn't much of the afternoon left after 2:00pm for them to redeploy the 1:1 to much benefit.

tethersend · 23/05/2014 16:36

All pupils of compulsory school age are entitled to a full-time education. In very exceptional circumstances there may be a need for a temporary part-time timetable to meet a pupil’s individual needs, for example where a medical condition prevents a pupil from attending full-time education and a part-time timetable is considered as part of a re-integration package. A part-time timetable must not be treated as a long-term solution. Any pastoral support programme or other agreement must have a time limit by which point the pupil is expected to attend full-time or be provided with alternative provision.
In agreeing to a part-time timetable a school has agreed to a pupil being absent from school for part of the week or day and therefore must record it as authorised absence.

Guidance here

saintlyjimjams · 23/05/2014 16:38

Oh it's easy enough for those with NT kids to be snotty about your timekeeping - I can only imagine the uproar if they had to cut one day short let alone every day.

We had this bullshit all through reception - it was a big sign that the school placement was not working. Ds1 moved schools (in his case to a special school although that may not be appropriate for you) after one term in year 1. Now he's in the right school with the correct level of support he does full days & has done for the last decade!

The ed psych sounds potentially on side - can you talk to him/her. Or get an (imaginary) commitment which means they'll have to have him for the whole school day.

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