Aibu to expect relatives to make allowances for ds naps?

[curlyHedgehog]

I'm not sure if I'm BU here. I'm not overly close to my parents and brother, I speak to them on the phone and visit them every couple of months as they live a three hour drive away.

When I visited them this week they fancied going out for fish and chips for lunch, so I offered to drive and asked if we could go at noon as ds aged 2 normally has a nap at 1, so even if we were late back them hopefully he could have a nap at 130ish. They said they wanted to go at 1230, so I agreed, knowing ds would be quite grumpy through a late nap but not wanting an argument with them.

Then they said they would like to plan to stop by in a bakery on the way home and sit down in the cafe for cake. I asked if we could do that later in the afternoon, as I was hoping ds could have a nap after lunch as otherwise he'd be grumpy, I offered to drive us all back to the bakery for afternoon tea later on instead. They wouldn't accept my suggestion and were quite rude to me, saying I was causing problems etc, so I went along with their plan, ds slumped on me in the bakery, cried because he was tired and never had a chance to sleep as we weren't finished until 2pm. He was grumpy all afternoon which wasn't fun for him or me.

I think it would have been easy for my parents to have been more flexible and made my life much easier, there were no other plans for the afternoon. Whenever I visit them similar things happen, they aren't interested in making my life easier by fitting in lunchtimes etc, will insist that ds should have tea at 7pm etc when they want to eat and object if I want to feed him earlier (he usually eats at 5pm) as apparently children and parents need to be flexible

Aibu and pfb?

Oh well Floozey, if your DS didn't nap at 2 we'd better stop all children napping beyond 2....

Ive just had a quick google and the first 4 sites I came across all agreed children generally need naps through to around 3 and while some will drop them earlier than others most will continue.

Oh I forgot to check www.floozeyshownottobeneurotic.com

I wish my DD would drop her nap.

My PIL used to come and visit in the afternoon and would make as much noise as possible to wake up DS1 so they could see him.

Now SIL has had a baby who is an awful sleeper. I went to put DD2 down for a nap and they had closed all the doors, switched the tv off and were sitting in silence. Such a huge difference! DD2 doesn't really mind a bit of noise though.

How ridiculous floozy.

Ds1 has always needed a lot of sleep. Up until age 2 he'd sleep 12 hours at night AND 3 hours in the afternoon. From 2 - 3 he'd dropped the daytime nap to 2 hours. From age 3-4 while at nursery he'd still have an hours nap in the afternoon.

Ds2 however could live on next to no sleep. He's a decent enough sleeper at night, but hasn't napped since he was about 16 months. He's like a Duracell bunny and just keeps going and going. Whenever we've been to parties/weddings which involve a late night, ds1 (age 6) is crashed out in the corner by 9pm, ds2 (age 4) will still be up and dancing at 1am with the adults, even when he was up at 6am that morning.

When the dc were aged 2 and 4, I still had to work my day around nap times...ds1's. I would put my 4 year old to bed for an hour whilst my 2 year old was happy to be awake all day.