To think that a posh accent is still frightening to many people?

[MrsWinnibago]

I know this will be a bit of an offensive post to some people but I don't mean to be offensive...I'm just really interested in people.

On another thread, a user of MN was advised to get some support in seeking help for her DC with undiagnosed difficulties the poster had found her GP to be useless and dismissive... and the advice was to "Get someone to go with you...the posher and bossier the better."

And I thought but then I thought yes...she's probably right. A really posh accent and the authority which often goes alongside it, is a bit frightening to some people...they're easily cowed by a public school stance and attitude.

Then I thought about how long it's been since we had "gentry" and peasants but really not that much HAS changed as the fear of the "gentry" is still deeply embedded in the working people of this country...and in the middle classes to some extent too.

When I say "Posh" I mean REALLY posh....not a middle class chap who doesn't drop his H's....I'm not especially cowed by really posh folk...I've been around them a lot due to my work....but they do seem to have an innate ability to take charge of a situation don't they?

I grew up in the Midlands with a Mum who made me take elocution lessons to rid me of my Brummie accent (I spent 10 years in foster care in Birmingham before going to live with her). As a result I now speak almost entirely without an accent, but sort of posh in comparison to our friends. At school I wince when children drop their 'h's or change 'th; into 'f'. I probably shouldn't but it's been so indoctrinated it makes me clench!

DH has a lovely way with words, is confident, articulate, never flustered and has a 'posh' accent after attending private schools. In his business he does incredibly well because of those qualities but when we're out anywhere vaguely fancy we'll absolutely get the better service if he speaks instead of me. I've never been sure if it's because of his accent or because he's male. Either way it's madness.

My friend used to take the piss out of my yorkshire accent and so I took it out of his posh voice that he only used for certain situations/meeting new people.. He said it was worth doing as it had got him far in life. It was very noticeable what an effect it had on people.. but not so much scared, more fawning over him! It's annoying but it works. I'll stick wi mi Yorkshire and people will just have to suffer it

Whooo - I also grew up in the Midlands and, whilst my accent wasn't very strong, at 16 I made a conscious decision to change it. (went to the PO and asked for a first clarss stamp instead of clas!). These days, most people would struggle to place my accent - I guess it is RP with a hint of regional that no-one can put their finger on.

DH was entirely public school in Kent and has a lovely accent, not at all plummy but beautifully spoken.

My 3 DC are all also privately educated and speak with RP but the youngest has a tendency to use her 'Hermione Granger' voice which can make me cringe it's so posh!!!

Going back to the OP - it definitely changes how people relate to you but I also agree with other posters, it's more influenced by your general demeanour. I would have never thought of myself as posh but I can hold my own anywhere and there are times (such as going into our nearest town) when I think I sound like the queen!! Not all people judge it favourably but it does have an effect.

I sound remarkably posh. Like the Queen, but younger. I also failed to complete any education further than gcse level. Despite my lack of further education, I sound authoritative and well educated. Without fail, I get what I want from the council, doctors etc. Sounding like you're UC, being polite but firm at all times and acting with the assumption that you should receive whatever you're asking for always works ime. It does also mean that I was mocked for my voice a lot in my teens and early twenties, but that's a toss up I'm happy to accept.

I think the intimidation comes from thinking posh accent = education.
And in formal settings, managerial roles, going to the doctor ect it makes people think "oh god they know what they're talking about".

I don't think it's a disadvantage in later life at all, I got bullied for a southern English accent (perceived as posh by my midlands classmates) in school, but growing up, why is it a bad thing for people to think you have money and you're educated?!

I'm not quite BBC newsreader 'posh' (I drop my t's and h's slightly) but I am confident, well-spoken and articulate. I also believe I have an advantage in the sense I have what is probably a deeper female voice, so my voice carries well (a voice for radio you might say).

I've certainly never struggled to get people to listen to me but I've also been remarkably good at blagging throughout school, uni, my career aka pretending I know what I'm talking about.

I'm inclined to agree with pps' that it's not the poshest of the posh Etonian types but the confident, well spoken but not posh that have the biggest advantage in the types of situation the OP describes.

Interesting thread.

Hmm. Can you tell I went to make a cup of tea in the middle of my last paragraph and forgot how many times I'd written 'posh'?

I think that there is also a misconception that someone talking really posh is also intelligent. That's not always the case. I've had conversations in my line of work in the past with people who have attended private school and have had very privileged backgrounds, but who can come out with the most dumbest of comments. Money can buy you elocution lessons and a good education, but you also need to have some basic intelligence as a starting point.

Sadly yes. I grew up speaking in the dialect of my city but I can also do a posh voice from growing up in a middle class family and in my experience when phoning HMRC/benefits/the council, I am more listened to and respected if I use my posh accent.

I don't think posh accents are at all scary.

Interesting.

I'm a solicitor age 33. I've been horrified by the way our firm's current trainee solicitors speak and write. Most of them wouldn't have got past an interview with me. One in particular went to the same school as I did and she is a living example of how standards have dropped in the last 10 years.

With reference to respect for authority. I find fewer people accept what their doctor/solicitor tells them these days. I am regularly challenged on my legal advice by a client who thinks his mate down the pub knows better.

I think I'm old before my time, tbh.

No I can't say I'm intimidated by an accent. Lots of UMs I know are dithering and the last people imaginable to take charge in a real emergency. I guess many do traditional Elton, Guards, City so have a certain presence but a major incident and they aren't necessarily commanding. My daughter's boyfriend went to Elton and a less intimidating soul I cannot imagine. Our neighbour went Eton, Guards, City and does read at the carol service but doesn't cope well if a cyclist comes off their bicycle on the road.
That said I am likely to assume lazy speakers are a bit dim. I don't mean regional speakers but those who litter their conversation with swearing, 'likes' 'you know what I mean' and similar. Bad diction is something I don't favour either.

I'm not scared of posh people. I am jealous as hell though, and I defy anyone not to be. Imagine the possibilities, you could live anywhere you want work/not work/volunteer/travel the world/not have to worry about money at the end of every month. Sounds fabulous.

I wanted to work in a particular creative industry, but I couldn't afford the 1-2 years of unpaid internships in London after uni required for 'experience in the field'. Those jobs are people's by the miffys, biffys and tarquins of this world and I'm jealous as hell.

On the other hand my posh uni friend's city banker dad beat up her lovely Mum so I don't envy her childhood. for the pp whose posh parents abused her. Yes I do think their accents and general air of authority helped them get away with it. For some reason DV is seen as a solely wc problem.

'I'm not posh, I just sound it'

Yes, so you only sound posh

To many people, that IS posh.

Knew a lad at uni who used to switch between broad Scouse and Home Counties depending on who he was talking to. He certainly used it to his advantage!

I can sound posh, but I'm in a town where is can cause resistance..Even amongst posh sounding people, as my town has a lot of posh sounding people who are really lower MC. I am completely unintimidated by almost everyone, but do know very well that it's important to act like you are occasionally.

None of this has translated into any success at all.

scaryclown Winchester?

RP here - ma from East End but grammar school, Da Liverpool but scholarship to independent. Both RP.

I think it did matter back when though they were never in a place where it made that much difference (think abroad).

However education did and does matter. And where independents and state schools do well for their students is to teach them to think and speak and write clearly (whatever accent). And how to be assertive rather than aggressive. And how the world works - eg if your rubbish isn't being collected, your neighbours are mad nuisances, your child has an undiagnosed complaint which the GP doesn't seem to know about, your local play area is about to be built over - where to go and how to appeal. So many people don't know who runs what.

It's all confidence, ability to talk to people and knowing what you want. Not much to do with an accent if the education system can encourage it. Local state school has just done fine with national debates - and encourage them to debate internally about charities and where they want school money to go.

OP - my conclusion is you're wrong. You don't need a hoity-toity or someone with RP but people with knowledge who can argue a case calmly. Everyone has that potential. Think of the people who fought for a resolution of Hillsborough. Leading people weren't RP at all and the better for it.

I don't sound posh, but I can posh it up when I need to, normally when shopping in Knightsbridge etc (please note, this is about once a year, mostly I'm a Sainsbury's gal). I don't think it's the posh accent as such that makes a difference, I think it's the confidence and outlook that an expensive education gets upper class people. They really do think, a lot of them, that the world is theirs to command, and have the airs and confidence to go with this attitude.

Then they meet a stroppy madam like me and don't know how to deal with it,.