Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want the bank cashier to call me "love"?

126 replies

MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:11

AIBU to be a bit Hmm at the cashier repeatedly calling me "love" when I went in today to pay some cash into Dh's account?

He called the man after me "Sir" and I just felt that it wasn't really on...if he didn't know my name as it wasn't my account, he could have gone for calling me nothing surely?

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 19/05/2014 14:15

Could you just smile and say "please don't call me love, it's patronising" before you leave? I had this once, it didn't happen again, neither did he sneeze on my cash before handing it over Grin

Yanbu. But deal with it.

50KnockingonabiT · 19/05/2014 14:17

I take it you're not in South Yorkshire, even the men get called love.

Lovecat · 19/05/2014 14:17

As he didn't call the man "Love" , I assume you are not in the North and are therefore not being unreasonable to be miffed.

As a Northern economic migrant living in the South it infuriates me when people call me love or darling or any other sobriquet that they wouldn't use if I were a man. As I get older and arsier I have taken to saying loudly "I'm not your love" in response.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 19/05/2014 14:17

YANBu thats not on

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:17

Conyo I have done that in the past but afterwards I always feel like an uptight cow or something Confused I didn't say anything and now feel like complaining! I can't remember his name....I might email and suggest they tell their cashiers not to do that...it feels wrong somehow in a bank but I didn;t bat an eyelid when a taxi driver said it 5 minutes later!

Why's that then? Perhaps I AM BU!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:18

Lovecat I am indeed in the North.

OP posts:
DorothyGherkins · 19/05/2014 14:19

I dont care what they call me, as long as they are polite and pleasant and efficient. I usually prefer a human to the machines, its nice to have a bit of interaction.

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2014 14:21

If you think he was doing it to belittle you rather than being just friendly, mirror his language and say it back. That normally puts them in their place.

But some people just use it as a term of endearment.

It's up to you to gauge it really.

jeee · 19/05/2014 14:22

In Devon they'd call you 'my lover'.

Blithereens · 19/05/2014 14:22

Ooh, I can't bear it. Even worse when they use my first name! That's Mrs. Blithereens to you! hoiks

GreeboOgg · 19/05/2014 14:23

Write a letter of complaint! Bloody bank cashiers forgetting their place and being all friendly! What is the world coming to?! Grin

extrasleepneeded · 19/05/2014 14:24

You are being slighty unreasonable its not like she called you a dickhead

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:25

Worra I think it may be something to do with the fact that he was younger than me...I don't know...it's disrespectful I think to call people "Love" or whatever when they're older than you surely?

Green I just don't see it as friendly...I'd be the same I think if it was a shop cashier. Friendliness can be expressed with a smile and cheerful manner.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:26

Extra it was a male.

OP posts:
cuddybridge · 19/05/2014 14:26

I hate the cashiers calling me Mrs Cuddy, makes me feel like my MIL, who insisted that I call her Mrs Cuddy, needless to say I always called her by her first name just to see her squirm.
You can tell we got on like a house on fire

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2014 14:26

I think the OP's point is that he called the man after her 'Sir'.

Whereas if he'd called him 'Mate', or whatever the affectionate term is from one man to another, she might not have felt patronised.

That's how I'm reading it anyway, but what do I know? Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 19/05/2014 14:27

What DrothyGherkins said - i really don't care if they are efficient and friendly

Shall I be the first to say to you "Well if that's all you have got to worry about..."? You know it's coming don't you? Grin

WorraLiberty · 19/05/2014 14:27

Oh X posted

If it's an age and respect thing, I disagree.

I think it's just as friendly with any ages involved.

caruthers · 19/05/2014 14:27

Women cashiers call me love and they call women love too.

To me they are just being friendly.

ghostmous3 · 19/05/2014 14:28

I got called cariad on the phone by a welsh call centre bloke, i nearly melted. He did have a very nice voice

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 19/05/2014 14:28

It's a Yorkshire thing. No harm meant. Just a bit of friendliness. Blame it on the sun. It does these things to people. :)

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 19/05/2014 14:29

Diet I don't live in Yorkshire.

OP posts:
msrisotto · 19/05/2014 14:30

A female estate agent called me darling on the phone the other day. Totally inappropriate! I was shocked to hear it actually and didn't say anything as we were saying our goodbyes anyway.

GreeboOgg · 19/05/2014 14:32

Is being called 'love' really patronising though? I agree the equivalent is probably mate but it's used so often up north I don't think it would even register to be honest.

Maybe the cashier didn't refer to the man behind her as 'mate' because he a face of stone and a Dexter-style aura, whereas OP seems more approachable and friendly.

OP, we will never know his true intentions unless you back and ask him. Go go go!

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 19/05/2014 14:34

Everybody calls everybody love where I am. Man,woman or child so here yabu

Swipe left for the next trending thread