To please, please ask for your positive stories of people getting well having been on HDU/ intensive care

[grobagsforever]

DP was admitted last week and moved to HDU last night. They don't know what's wrong. He has fluid on belly, some kind of infection and impiared liver function. There is talk of moving him ti ICU. We seem to be waiting on endless tests. He is 35 we have a three year old and I am 7 months pregnant. I need him . Please tell me your positive stories of recovery from these situations.

Yes we have an immense amount of support from family and friends.

Ps it might be worth thinking about asking for this thread to be moved, perhaps into one of the health threads? Although I can imagine you have plenty other things to think about, somehow.

Take care & try to get a little rest.

He needs to stay on NHS for continuity of care. Once he has a treatment plan we can consider BUPA.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I don't have a positive story from HDU as such, but my grandfather (aged 93) was very poorly last year.

One afternoon the hospital doctor phoned me to say he as being prepped for emergency surgery, for pr hemorrhage, then 15 mins later the called back to say my grandfather had been refused by the surgeons as he was too unstable. A dnar had been put in place and was advised cardiac arrest was almost inevitable. I drove the 170 miles to see him fully expecting for the ward to redirect me to the bereavement office.

Despite that, my grandfather did eventually recover enough to be able to be discharged back to his own home 1 month later. Today he seems as healthy as he was 25 years ago. Thankfully he can't remember anything of his illness, and ungratefully moans they kept him in hospital for too long.

I hope that you are able to get enough rest for yourself.

How you today grobags

Do you know the primary site yet grobags? With bloodwork, they should be able to narrow it down a bit?

What about the infection? Is he getting antibiotics?

I worried with the stomach distention that it sounded like bowel cancer/obstruction. May explain the liver readings too. But they would have tested the bowel tumour markers straight away I would have thought.

Did you get a friend to talk with the doctors with you?

Hope you get a treatment plan today from the review Grobag, and that DH continues to get stronger. Good luck.

Thinking of you and your DH today grobags - hope he continues to get stronger.

I'll be thinking of you & DH & your girls OP & wishing you all well.

Keep on keeping on grobags. You are doing wonderfully.

Re BUPA. Make sure your medical team know about this. When I had breast cancer I was given two drugs not routinely available for primary cancer on the NHS at that time (2006). One was a chemo drug which is now seen as a 'gold standard' treatment (docetaxol) and the other was a white cell booster (Neulasta). I believe they saved my life. We had been offered health insurance by Sun Life when we took out our home insurance. Dh was too old but I took it up.
Just make sure when his team are talking about treatment that they know there is funding for anything appropriate regardless of current NICE guidelines. There may be something out there to add both quantity and quality of life.

Bloody sad eyed doctor has just been round again reminding us that things are very bad. His review is scheduled for tomorrow lunch time. Sounds like it's up to DH to beat this as medics are only taking about prolonging his life with chemo. I feel like they won't be happy until they've broken his spirits!

Hold on to all the positive stories that have been shared on here.

Remember also that Doctors are terrified of giving anything that looks like 'false hope'. They will always err on the side of doom and gloom.

It does sound as though things are 'bad', yes. But 'bad' does not necessarily mean unbeatable as this thread is testament to. You and DH have to tell each other that even when nobody else will.

Wishing you, your DC, your DH and your belly much love and strength.

With apologies to all doctors, often we have felt that they have given a bleak outlook for different family members, because they're scared to be positive and be wrong. thegreylady makes a good point - let them know that although you're happy with what they're doing, there is private back-up if it would be helpful.

Hang in there, Grobags. A minute or an hour at a time. Just hold his hand & tell him how much you all love him, and are willing him to get better.

You have always got hope; nobody can ever take that away from you.

Sending love & strength your way.

I don't think doctors give a bleak outlook because they're scared to be positive and wrong at all. I think they give an outlook which is their best guess of the outlook with their medical knowledge and experience. But obviously we don't have a crystal ball. Cancer is a very variable thing and people we expect to do badly sometimes respond surprisingly well to treatment. Equally people we expect to do well can deteriorate suddenly. It's not an exact science.

Survival estimates are often the median survival, which means that half of patients will do better than this and half will do worse.

Poor guy can't stop vomitting today. Meds not working. He's still fighting though. I'm really wobbly though. Back to thoughts of bottles of pills etc. Nausea is such a cruel symptom.

So absolutely hold onto your hope grobags. But please also spend quality time with your dh and dd, as far as this is possible while he's in hospital, and make sure you and he have the chance to say everything you need to. And if there is anyone important that your dh wants to see or talk to that he can do this. So if the worst happens there are no regrets. If it doesn't then spending quality time with those you love would never be time wasted x

Cross posted. Nausea is indeed fucking shit and unrelenting. I presume his doctors have tried lots of different drugs? If there is an element of bowel obstruction might he consider an ng tube (fine tube from nose to stomach to drain stomach contents away) which although uncomfortable is pretty effective at stopping vomiting due to obstruction?

He was doing well with goals e.g oxygen reduction but today is a bad day due to the nausea.

Have they given him medication for the nausea or explored the possible causes?

As Yellow says there could be serious medical reasons e.g. obstruction.
Are they going to do a scan?

Do you have family support to help with your DCs while you are at the hospital?

I'm sure if you need anything, there will be a local mumsnetter willing to lend a hand?