To please, please ask for your positive stories of people getting well having been on HDU/ intensive care

[grobagsforever]

DP was admitted last week and moved to HDU last night. They don't know what's wrong. He has fluid on belly, some kind of infection and impiared liver function. There is talk of moving him ti ICU. We seem to be waiting on endless tests. He is 35 we have a three year old and I am 7 months pregnant. I need him . Please tell me your positive stories of recovery from these situations.

The DNR happened in a blur. He's on ICU due to no suitable beds being available. He is not bed blocking, the unit is not full. As soon as a ward bed is found he will be moved. It's no one's fault,just the way beds are!

Don't give the bed situation a second thought, OP. You don't need to justify anything to anyone about why he's in an ICU bed. It's not a decision you've made personally, so I don't see why people are questioning it. Just concentrate on yourself & your DH.

I hope the senior consultants/professors will have some answers tomorrow.

And please don't forget to take care of yourself too x

Don't worry about the beds, grobags. If he's being kept in an ICU bed, there's not your fault. If that decision has been made, it wasn't by you, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's not a good decision from a resource point of view, but if it's really the only option, it's the only option.

18months ago I was in intensive care following a major op and having one to one nursing. I now walk miles and cycle regularly. There is good quality of life after ICUS

Sorry for asking grobags but what is your DH's cancer? Like Portofino said, it must be so difficult to know what to do if you don't know.

God that is beyond awful that you agreed to a DNR in that situation. I don't mean that you agreed to it but that it happened in such a way, at such a time, that it's a blur.
That's scary.
Thank God he has improved.

I am sure he will continue to make progress and be on active treatment soon.

I am a bit shocked at the DNR! He doesn't even know what is wrong with him yet. Let alone whether there is any chance of recovery. Did he really sign it! That must be so worrying for you.

Am jumping in with my bossy pants on: please try hard to keep the thread for things which might be positive for OP.

Grobags is (excuse me for making assumptions) knackered. If you haven't sat by the bed of someone you fear for, well, let me assure you, it's quite tiring. So, sometimes, I missed details that would give a decent case history to my own mother, never mind the whole of MN!

Mr Gro is in an ICU unit in the NHS. That is, without doubt, the safest place for anyone who is seriously ill to be. Without a doubt.

Growbags - you spoken to anyone about your mood yet?

That's what concerns me. You seem brighter, but, I'd be reassured if you actually articulate how you were feeling to someone IRL.

I'm fretting about you. and, obviously, this is all about me

The thing is gussie, a lot of people (me included) have been in very similar situations. I think grobags needs answers and should be asking questions, the fear of the unknown is worse than anything.

Fair point, Cunk.

I guess I found it very stressful having people saying "why have they done this, and not that?"

Gro's not said anyting to indicate that she's not happy with the care her DH has been given, apart from the frosty consultant. And, her postings indicated that she was very distressed, so, I'm projecting onto her situation a bit. Quite a lot.

The thing is that none of us really know what is really going on and because of that whether the dnr was appropriate. I don't think telling Grobags that her dh is getting crap care is going to help, because none of us can possibly know that

Doctors don't make a dnr lightly, especially in such a young man. It is highly likely that at the time it was made it was because his doctors felt that resuscitation would be futile. Now he is picking up it is a totally different situation hence reversing the decision.

The other thing to point out is that a dnr doesn't mean no treatment. On its own it just means that if his heart stops you let nature take its course. Not that you don't try everything else short of that to stop that happening.

It may be that the decision was wrong. But my point is that none of us can possibly know that and I don't think debating whether his doctors are any good is helpful for grobags when we can't possibly know why the decision was made

Grobags has asked for positive stories. Shall we try to keep to that unless she asks otherwise?

Cross posted. I agree with gussie. None of us know enough about grobags specific situation and therefore can't comment on clinical decisions. And I don't think questioning these clinical decisions is helpful or supportive

I'll try and explain. DH was given a diagnosis of terminal cancer but they had not 100 percent confirmed the primary site. When the DNR was issued it was believed that DH's body was giving up. There is now some hope that some of his more immediately dangerous symptoms may have stopped progressing. They have decided to review his case. Yo be honest the DNR wasn't a major issue, he wasn't considered a crash risk.

I am extremely happy with the care he has recieved. The hospital is putting every resource they can into him as his case is considered extremely rare, shocking and distressing. The staff are obviously moved by my big pregnant belly and DH's strength.

yes, he should be on a ward. But there's no beds and he cannot be sent home. Just a fluke really. Nothing about our situation is normal.

We are already thinking of fund raising activities we can do for this amazing place. Hopefully in celebration of DH's life, not his memory.

And yes I'd love more inspiring stories. I have spoken to people in RL about my darker thoughts but I also need to spew here.

Crystal, I'm sorry you had that to deal with, brutal.

But, I pick up your point - Gro has to know what's going on, not MN.

I stand by what I said, we don't have all the details and Gro doesn't need to expend any of her precious energy telling us.

All sounds like such a mess gro.
Sorry no idea of your backstory Gro , do you have other children? Are you in contact with your family or ypur dh' family? It must be very hard for them too.
Very scary for your dh to be made dnar in such a brusque manor, unbelieveable what can happen or seem to happen in the blink of an eye.
No stories to share sorry.
Hope you get the happy ending you are wishing for x

Again Grobags, please don't feel you need to justify things here: your OP clearly asked for support & positive stories not questioning of his care/treatment etc. I hope posters will respect that.

You sound so much more positive today, I hope you are feeling a little stronger. Do you have someone there for support? How are you coping?

It's not the same thing, but I have a little 5-year old miracle upstairs, sleeping in his bed. There were times I didn't know if he'd make it through the night. NICU was our home for 3 long months. Even now, I don't have the words to explain what we went through, or how we got through it. We accepted prayers, positive vibes & thoughts. Anything we hoped would help.

Many of us are sending strength to you & your DH.

Big hugs grobags. Everything crossed x