To please, please ask for your positive stories of people getting well having been on HDU/ intensive care

[grobagsforever]

DP was admitted last week and moved to HDU last night. They don't know what's wrong. He has fluid on belly, some kind of infection and impiared liver function. There is talk of moving him ti ICU. We seem to be waiting on endless tests. He is 35 we have a three year old and I am 7 months pregnant. I need him . Please tell me your positive stories of recovery from these situations.

I know it's awful and overwhelming. Please talk to someone in RL about these thoughts.

My grandmother lost six babies and then her husband nearly 40 years ago when my mum and uncle were in their teens. I know she adored my grandfather and was devastated at his loss but she is happy today. She is loved by her surviving children, her six grandchildren and her two great-grandchildren, has a full social life, works hard for good causes in the community and at 80 knows that her life has been a full and happy one. She still loves my grandfather and those babies but it is a manageable grief that time has filled with love to replace the initial despair.

Even if the worst does happen and your DH dies, there is a lot for you to live for. Two beautiful little girls who need their mum. Their futures will be so much brighter with you than without you. Once you are dead, you have no more choices. No chances to watch your children grow, to explain, to comfort, to guide and protect. Don't leave those futures to chance.

I hope very much that your DH pulls through. Even on this thread there are examples of people who have been where he is and it's all worked out. There are hundreds of thousands of people who have been where you are, have thought the thoughts you are having, have experienced the pain you are feeling. That's why there are people, systems and organisations set up to help. All of us live for hope. Please ask for that help.

Sweetie, what a horrid situation you are in. I am thinking of you often and sending you so much light and hope. Please don't give up - ask for, and accept help. My cousin was recently in this situation, different illness but a very very bleak outlook and prognosis. Thankfully, things have improved and although her DH is still critically ill he's made a lot of progress. There is always hope. I think that thegreylady has said some very wise words. UnMN xxxx

How have things been today, Grobags? Hope you are ok, thinking of you.

My experience of the NHS after 10 years and an Nurse Consultant is that it is excellent and better than anywhere for acute care, it's just the routine and elderly that stinks. He is in the best place.

Sending you a hug, grobags. Hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Xxx

DH continues to persevere today, he os exhausted due to alternative healing he is having. He is eatong and drinking as much as he can as well. I owe it to him to stay strong. The staff got him in a chair today and took us down to ante natal clinic for a 4d scan! On a Sunday! Huge boost to DH.

Lovely news about scan! Sounds as if he's doing a bit better despite exhaustion. xxx

How many weeks pregnant are you? A 4D scan sounds amazing.

Just keep going, hour by hour and day by day, doing everything you can. You can do this and hopefully, DH will improve.

You are so right about staying strong but you need support too.

Have been thinking of you both and wishing you both the best wishes I can.

I am so sorry to hear about your news.

I have no other words except you are all in my thoughts

X

That is real dedication if they managed to get him out the itu bed with all the equipment and he was well enough to sit in a wheelchair, that is a very good sign indeed.

Is the 4d scan the kind you get at private clinics? How lucky to get one at a weekend! Sounds like a good day.

Grobags - sounds like they should be planning to transfer him on to a ward then? What have they said about that?

Yes we are transferring to a private room tomorrow, probably on our BUPA plan as the NHS wards are clearly stretched. They continue to insist they won't treat him as he's too unwell, he continues to insist he will improve and get well. His strength is amazing. The 4D was like private one, they did it as a very special gesture to us. So he doesn't actually need intensive care, he's just not well enough for surgery or chemo. Still waiting on our miracle.

Well I am hoping you get your miracle. I am sure we all are.

assume he will be out room soon then as ICU beds very expensive, hope ward is good. when they say not treating...what are they doing?

I realise this is a very painful topic but I am surprised that they haven't suggested even palliative treatment of some sort. Have they established what the primary tumour is yet?

This is all positive. How is the baby doing? How lovely of them to give you the scan.

I have been thinking about this thread and OP I am really concerned about your situation. Have they determined that only a palliative pathway is appropriate given the scale of his disease? That would be very hard to accept I know but if that is the case then the best thing for all of you would care in hospice or at home where you can be together all the time, he can see his daughter and you can make some memories.

If however they are talking about curative treatment if he was well enough then they need to move on that and you need a lot more information. There are posters here who unhappily do have experience of various chemo regimes and will be able to offer you support. You cannot allow this stasis to continue though. Your family needs to go one way or the other. Are DP's parents at the hospital with you? Perhaps you could meet with them and the consultant.

OP, I'm hoping you'll get more answers today. Things tend to grind to a halt in hospitals over the weekend, unfortunately.

Hopefully there will have been a ward round already & a plan made. If not, I'd be asking for a meeting with the consultant in charge of his care & having someone with me for moral support.

Thinking of you.

Blimey an itu bed when he doesnt need one you have been spoilt. Hopefully your husband will get the care he needs in the private room.
ITU beds are constantly bein battled over so I am so glad all the alternative treatments have enabled your dh to move on so someone with greater treatment needs can utilise the resources.
Good luck op
:)

Just met with consultant. Some talk of reviewing his results and considering treatment if strong enough. No ward beds available so staying on icu for now but obviously they want to move him due to costs. I know we can build him up for treatment if we get the right support.

He still requires oxygen and they want him off that. Also he needs to eat, drink and show he can walk around. No fat ladies are singing yet!