AIBU to think you don't let your children play out in the garden to scream at each other/play at 7.45 on a Sunday morning!

[17leftfeet]

I genuinely thought I had had a massive lie in when I was woken up by the sound of children playing -but no, it was before 8am!

Mum has just ineffectually started shushing them but was met with a toddler screaming 'NO' at her

Now I appreciate these children may be early risers etc but have a bit of consideration for your neighbours, surely?!

I've never heard of the 9am rule. Sounds ludicrous to me. Workmen start work from 8am, so I'd think anything from 8 is fine. And on a sunny day like today? 7.45 sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
There are all sorts of noises that can disturb you. Birds sign the dawn chorus at an ungodly hour. Cars, buses, ambulances, police cars, builders, church bells.
It's great for children to be outside early on a lovely day.

I'm not sure how those saying its fine to have kids yelling (not playing nicely) in the gardens pre 8am would find it if they had a family with 5 with kids screaching at 7am on a sunday morning.

Just because your neighbour is a selfish git who practises their piano at midnight (grade 2), doesn't mean I can inflict DS on them at 6:30am and get him to practise his trumpet (tempting as it may be)

Yanbu at all think its just being respectful of your neighbours. I think after 830 is early enough.

I can see your POV but we only get a few weeks out the year where it is hot enough for the kids to be out in the garden early morning.

Mine were rearing to go up and out at 8 am but were not screaming or disturbing anyone

Ah well, maybe payback with a late evening barbarque ???

Buses, cars, emergency vehicles and such are generally 30 seconds of noise that pass your house. Also these are general every day noises like church bells which you become used to.
As you say the sunny days are but a few weeks a year so a screaming squawking child in next doors garden is not going to stop after 30 seconds. Plus the sound of a screaming child sets my teeth on edge.

Builders on a Sunday at 8am! I would be complaining.

I think a lot if people are saying 9 am because some parents will allow their kids to make a horrendous racket at 7 am. I am a heavy sleeper, so children playing early doesn't bother me but the shrieking is really anti-social.

EeeeekAMouse - That's wonderful that, in your area, the birds sign the dawn chorus - now that's what I call consideration!

YANBU it's selfish. Let people lie in ffs! Same with stupid lawnmowing at 7-9am!

For me it's all about 'everyone' showing consideration for each other's neighbours. We live on a very small estate, with most of the houses having a path in front of them rather then a road.

There are generally about 20 kids between the ages of 3 and 12, who play on the path at the front of our house, my DS included. We never see any of them out until about 9.30am, as the neighbours who have kids are generally very considerate of those who don't. Sometimes, the kids will also be out playing until 8.30pm at night in summer. The kids have a great time.

When my DS is at his Dads, I know that other kids will come and call for him, so if I fancy a snooze in the afternoon and don't want to be disturbed, I will go in our spare room at the back of the house. When all the kids are out, they do make a racket, but they are kids and should be outside enjoying themselves.

I only ever complain if the younger kids decide it's ok for them to come and play in my garden when DS isn't here. I was watching he cup final yesterday and 4 of them kept running through my garden, screaming and shouting. I went out and told them very firmly that my garden was not a public park and to stop running through it. 2 of their parents were on the path (hadn't seen them when I told their kids off) and they apologised straight away.

To be fair, we are very lucky where we live, as the parents and kids are generally lovely and so are our next door neighbours who have no kids. I make sure my DS doesn't make a lot of noise early in the morning, so we don't disturb them and they are quiet in the evenings, so as not to disturb DS. I love my neighbours.

Growing up the rule was always 9am. Seems fair

yep, not only last night someone had an all nighter bbq and loud 'music' but this morning at 7am there were kids out screaming like banshees and running a stick along fences to make that rat a tat noise.

thankfully someone shouted at them to shut the feck up !

oh yes and ther lawnmowing too.

Never had this dilemma, as DS has always been a late riser for his age.

Funnyfoot - So why don't you take your children to the park or for a walk plump?
Honestly, it just didn't occur to me. It's early, we're all in our jammies, I've never really left the house early for leisure purposes. Perhaps we should do that in future.

I do tend to go out in the garden with them to superintend proceedings, but they are usually pretty quiet out there as they get absorbed in their horticulturally destructive yet quiet tasks. Therefore, I suppose I thought the situation was ok.

Funnyfoot - Have you tried playing with them? Entertaining them? Ever wondered why they are bored? Or do you just leave them to their own devices and then boot them outside when you and your DH have had enough of the noise.
You know what, those options DID occur to us but we decided to sit on our arses and play on our phones instead yes of course we bloody try to entertain them. It just happens that they vastly prefer the garden and clamour for it when it's not raining. Yeesh.

KAtieKAye - So you deliberately let your children go outside where they will disturb a larger number of people rather than staying indoors where they will only impact on next-door, who are already up? And you think that voices outside, unmuffled by soft-furnishings and deadened by shared walls will be lower? really? Kind of flawed login at work their. Perhaps you mean it is quieter for you?

No..... I often hear our neighbours through the walls (they're quite thin) but am rarely if ever woken by noise coming through a window from 30 feet away. And as I've said above, I'm out there with them so it's not just to give myself a break.

DH wishes for me to point out that his personal outdoor threshold is 8am which he has mentioned today after 3 years of childcare and that any excursions earlier than this are on me. Duly stated.

HavanaSlife - The 3 uear old was out at 8 this morning playing with some little cars so not squealing or shouting.
This is pretty much what ours are like once outside. They are a lot noisier when indoors and bored.

I think that's all the questions answered - I tried to spot all of them

builders can't start work until 8am mon-fri and 9am on a Saturday so maybe that's where the "rule" came from?

Bloody nora Kate where you been all day

1) they can be out in the garden talking and occasionally shouting to each other. They can be heard by more people but from a greater distance, so hopefully the level of disturbance will be low.

Taken from your first posts so they are not really quite and playing with cars are they?

So how do you keep them quite when it's raining?

Tbh given how young they are the decision to go out side is yours not there's and because the noise levels rise in the house you choose to let them out side where their noise can disturb everyone else.

I think 8am is a lot better than 7am.

Ok, it does vary. Most of the time they're pretty quiet, except for the occasional 'NO DS2 IT MINE' from DS1 and reciprocal wail from DS2, at which point I swoop in to quieten them down. They do get hustled back into the house if they refuse to shut up.

When it's raining..... well, it's a lot more fraught and there's a lot of frantic googling to find somewhere dry that opens early.

I think that in future I will try to keep them inside for longer, in view of all the opinions posted here. I didn't realise there was an unwritten rule here - I grew up overseas in a place where neighbours were usually at least 200m away, as privacy was valued. Therefore, you just went outside whenever.

I have learned my lesson though :) will try to aim for 9am in future.

I have 4 DC's and tbh they stayed in when I said they stayed in. I was never forced to go out somewhere because they refused to be at home so I have difficulty understanding why your young children's behaviour determines whether you stay in or go out. Especially that early in the morning.

Sounds like a major criticism now I have wrote it down but I don't mean it to be I just genuinely don't understand it.

I have an early rising toddler who is ready to go outside by 8.30. She is a noisy little thing so if before 9am I go to the park. Yanbu

Well, my late mother's discipline style was fairly aggressive and 'because I'm adult that's why', so I have a deep-set fear of being too rigid with my DC. I probably take it too far the other way, but that's my problem I guess.

I'm not saying that you are any of those negative things, by the way, but she was. I appreciate that it is probably possible to keep kids quiet and engaged and not climbing the walls without raising your voice, smacking or verbally abusing them into submission, but I've tried different distractions/activities/playing /reading/tv and none of it seems to bloody work. I can't make them behave as I'd like them too but I don't want to step up the discipline level, so I end up on a middle level that no-one's really happy with.

Apologies for derailing your thread op - I didn't intend to.

My last message was to Funnyfoot btw.

I am less strict than my parents (not that they were heavy handed) so I see where you are coming from. If you are not happy with your parenting style or it's not working as a family then there are some great threads on here with tips and support.
I am by no means a perfect parent and I'm pretty convinced I have ballsed it up with my first two and it took me to 3 & 4 to get it anywhere near right

I have no kids and get up at 4:30am in the week for work including saturdays. It is lovely to sleep in on sunday!

I don't mind if next door's four under 10's are out playing earlyish but why do they have to bloody scream all the time?? Do parents become deaf to this noise because it goes on for ages? I could happily lie in bed and listen to the birds and children laughing and talking but within minutes they start screeching.

It's even worse when they jump on the trampoline and screech at the same time.

I never let my dc out that early in the morning, it is inconsiderate.

I have to listen to music (house & cars), cars revving, people yelling at their kids in the street, dogs barking at all hours, noisy motorbikes going up & down all day. The guy opposite us woke me up at 6am one morning singing karaoke.

yet still, I have it in me to be a considerate neighbour. Sometimes I wished I didn't, because no one else seems to give a damn what they subject others to.

Mine can go out when they like (and I don't mean at 5am), they are usually good to know not to scream, and if they do, they get bought in. My chickens make more noise :D

I really wish though, just sometimes, I could be a little more inconsiderate & send them out with whistles. [evil]