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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband ought to have looked after our baby properly

132 replies

Mrssodapop · 17/05/2014 16:08

It's a hot day here and I left toddler aged 2 in the paddling with her dad supervising. The water was cool but a couple of pots of hot water had been added so it wasn't freezing. Toddler had been in the pool for about 5 mins before I went in and left husband to it. 10 minutes later he comes to tell me that he thinks ds ought to come out, gone blue and shivering. I get ds out and he is absolutely freezing cold and shivering so much he can't catch his breath. I took him inside and wrapped him in blankets and even got a hot water bottle to warm him up. I was worried because he kept on shivering and his temperature was 34.4! Over the next five minutes he warmed up and temperature was normal but I am furious with husband. I'm cross because he came to ask me leaving ds alone in the pool for a few seconds, also that he even came to ask me, where is his initiative. When I told him ds should have been taken out as soon as he went blue he started arguing with me that I shouldn't have put him in a paddling pool in the first place but my point is husband ought to have been watching him and taking care of him properly. Furious that he just sat there watching ds go blue and didn't respond, I feel he's a crap dad right now.

OP posts:
Mutley77 · 19/05/2014 05:32

Sorry but I must say this sounds like something that might happen in our house. Or the alternative would be that DH would take 2 yo out of pool and bring him in, making a right mess with towels, clothes etc strewn everywhere and I would be annoyed that I had gone to all the trouble of heating up the pool water for him only to take the child out after ten minutes!! And I know I can be unreasonable, so does DH Grin....!

The leaving 2yo alone in pool is certainly not ideal but under the supervision of a 6yo (presuming he/she is sensible ) for 6 seconds is highly unlikely to be life threatening and is a risk I would probably take in a similar situation. However I think you are more justified in having a conversation with your DH about the leaving alone if it does bother you - and ask if he would please not leave the 2yo unsupervised in water even for a few seconds. Sometimes DH and I disagree about level of risk but if it is something I feel strongly about he will agree to do it my way out of respect for my view (or I would defer to him if he wanted me to do something a different way from a safety perspective, it's just usually not that way round!!).

I really can't believe that a normal healthy child would be damaged by being a bit cold in a pool for ten minutes - if he/she was particualrly uncomfortable he/she would cry surely? ? My children always get out of coldish swimming pools with blue lips and sometimes blue hands/feet too but it doesn't mean I would stop them enjoying themselves in the water if they are happy.

As for hats/ parasols etc - it's not unusual for people to forget those kind of things especially at the beginning of summer and especially if they don't look after their children day in day out.... (I'm making a massive assumption that he works F/T here!!) If you are able to politely remind him and he would then get hats for children etc then I don't see that as a massive issue.

FergusSingsTheBlues · 19/05/2014 05:39

I just can't believe that y'all are loafing around in swimming pools....here in glasgow it's been a right miserable weekend... #jealous

TheRealAmandaClarke · 20/05/2014 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 20/05/2014 22:55

34.4 is not that low, is it? My normal body temp is usually about 35.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 20/05/2014 23:00

Well, it's considered mild hypothermia.
Small children are more susceptible than healthy adults.
But it seems unlikely given the aforementioned heat of the day.
Having said that, at the weekend I noticed it was lovely in the sun but quite cool in the shade. I guess he was caught by surprise, although it seems foolish to not just take him out if you think he's cold Confused

MrsWinnibago · 20/05/2014 23:04

My DD went blue after 5 minutes in the Australian ocean! Ok it wasn't beating down sun but it was warm...the water was warm. Little ones cool very, very quickly.

MrsWinnibago · 20/05/2014 23:04

I certainly didn't panic. DD is very pale and still goes blueish if she gets cold.

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